Feral Heart
Off topic => Discussion Board => Topic started by: Aroxy on March 02, 2011, 03:06:24 pm
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So, I was on facebook and this girl I know posted this as her status:
"You say "i love you" to someone in barely a month... you have no idea what love is."
So, I commented on it, and someone else commented back opposing what I had put. Read the two comments down below, and if you agree with one of the two, post here with your thoughts about it, and if you don't agree with either, tell me how YOU feel about this subject. I really am interested in different people's views. I only have one request, please don't make this topic get religious. This is strictly about your views on love.
Comment:
"Hmm.. I used to think this too.. about people who say 'i love you' after such a short period of time. But if you really think about it, who are you to tell them they don't know what love is? But that's not what i'm getting at.. I do agree with you, but to a certain extent. I don't think that those couples necessarily 'love' eachother in the sense that they know what love is (..but what IS love in your book?). When you first start dating someone, you just feel like everything is perfect. They're perfect, you're happy.. You feel on top of the world, and that's what gives you the feeling that you're in love.. but.. isn't that what love is all about? And besides.. you tell your friends you love them don't you? But.. you mean it in a different sense then what a couple would mean it as. You tell your parents you love them.. but that's a different kind of love as a relationship or friendship, is it not? Love has all sorts of different meanings, and I don't think that just because two people tell eachother they love eachother even after what you say is such a short period of time is such a big deal.. When you get in a relationship with a guy that you feel is right, you're going to be waiting for the moment that you can tell him you love him.. but you're going to be wondering when that right moment is. If you feel it, it's there.. and some people might feel it quicker than others.. I don't really know what i'm trying to say.. but I know there was a point in that whole rant somewhere... lol"
Opposing Comment:
"allie- i don't know who you are or how old you are, but might i be as bold to say in short your comment was saying "love is a feeling, just go with it."
i strongly disagree with that. again, since i don't know you i'm not sure its my place, ...but i know love is NOT a feeling. ITS A CHOICE.
if you go through life acting as if it's a feeling then every time you say "i love you" to that boyfriend or girlfriend your giving small parts of your heart away every time..
if you keep giving small parts of your heart away, how much of your heart will be left for the person God has for you to marry??
but i do agree with what you said about there being several different types of love. thats something the Bible clearly teaches.."
So.. who do you agree with?
(and maybe you don't agree with either)
~Aroxy
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Please tell me who that person was so I can go strangle/smack/beat them up. 'The person God has for you to marry?' The [edited]? And 'giving small parts of your heart away every time'? That's like saying every time you tell your parents you love them, you become less of a person. Love is not a 'CHOICE'. Love is an emotion, and a state of being, one that generally goes hand with happiness. And sometimes, with a great deal of pain. It's not something you choose. Obviously, that person had never loved anyone.
Edit: Please don't curse on the forums. Thanks! ^^ ~arsenicCatnip
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Yeah, I wrote this back to her.
"I suppose everyone has different views. To me, love IS a feeling. And just because you say I love you, I don't believe you're 'giving parts of your heart away'.. I don't understand what you mean by saying love is a choice? I don't choose to love someone, the feelings they give me is what makes me love them.. Now, if you were to say "I love God" well, THAT is a choice.. not a feeling.. but this conversation is getting on the religious side.. and I respect your thoughts, but like I said.. some people have different views then others."
I kind of thought she was retarded for saying that love is a choice too.. and the whole speal about the person god has for you to marry made me laugh out loud. lmao I love you ny<3 and no pun intended.. hahahah that was from the seriousness of my heart <3
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I agree with your comment. See, (true) I'm positive I'm in love with this boy, Nathan, in my class. (Can't ask him out, too scared, the whole bundle.) But anyway, I'll probably look back when I'm a adult and say "Hah! I thought I was in love... hehehe..." But for now I'm positively certain. So you never can know... :)
BTW, for my personal safety, his name was shortened. Lets just say his nickname is JJ. ;)
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Awww, I love you too, Ali. :3
OH NO, COME BACK HEART PIECE! *Grabs at the air*
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My friend and I say this to each other, but we mean it in a friendly way since we've known each other for what... two years? Love is a feeling, and I find it weird how two friends can say "I love you" to each other and not get freaked out, when one says "I like you" and it's like whaaat.
I guess that had nothing to do with the topic. xD Onto what I was trying to say.
Love is a feeling. It's something natural that we all (hopefully) feel eventually. It's an emotion, and a rather strong one in my opinion, we all have different views on it and it's not something you can criticize someone about.
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Love is a feeling, not a choice.
You don't choose to love someone, you either do or don't.
I've only ever /truly/ loved two people with all of my heart, and I'd do absolutely anything for them, to be honest. It sucks that both were Internet relationships (WHICH I HIGHLY ADVICE AGAINST) and both ended. xx
I love my close, close friends, but not in the same way.
Also - don't be offended by what I'm going to say, or any of the following. If you are, I apologize.
1. You can not love someone until you've really gotten to know them, and I believe you can't get to know them FULLY until you've meet them or dated them. Anything before that is just liking or crushing on them.
2. This .. is sort of on topic? Idk, bothers me. Being bisexual is NOT SOMETHING YOU PICK OR GET USED TO. I'm bisexual, but with reason. I'm naturally attracted to both genders in a loving and -content deemed inappropriate and removed by moderator- Bisexual should /NOT/ be a fad. It is not 'cool'. It's just who some people are, and they can accept that or not. / shrug
Also, I don't believe in God. So I don't believe God has chosen anyone for you to marry. It'll happen if it was meant to happen. o3o
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God Shmod
Seriously, I agree with the first post, it is a feeling (But a feeling you can make choices about, you can choose to act on those feelings, or choose to dismiss them) Religion has nothing to do with love at all in the end anyway. If 'god' chooses our husband/wife for us, I feel sorry for the world. Because 'god' obviously has no idea what he is doing. The amount of people who divorce, the amount of people that marry into abusive relationships... Is that what 'god' wants? I think this person is just a bit delusional...
And is it just me or do they seem to be saying you have to be a christian to understand what love is? Seriously, that's what I'm getting from this person.
And here is a good point to consider, if love is a choice, why in the world is there someone chosen for us by 'god'? It's a ridiculous thing to say, to say love is a choice and then go and say that 'god ' chooses your husband for you... Hypocrite XD
Don't take this the wrong way, but if 'god' really chooses who we marry, I am praying that he chose a dog for me! I'd get more love an loyalty from a dog any day, a dog would be willing to overlook my disability and appearance, and would know how I feel, and respect my decisions. I wouldn't ever be mistreated by a dog. That, and I don't take to people (online I can get along better, but in my head I'm talking to a machine XD)
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No one shoot me please xD I love sharing my opinions, but just to note, I do believe in God, but also science ^^
After watching some shows about (somewhat) the meaning of love, I have came to a decision. Love is just like a hormone in our body. It takes control of us as we find a partner that isn't from the same family. We find them by, voice, scent, and what they might have to impress us (cars etc.). I also believe that it could be a spiritual thing, like finding someone with a similar aura, or possibly with a lot of the same attributes that make into us.
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I'll be keeping a careful eye on this thread since the topic can be a bit touchy, especially if you throw religion in with it and all that other stuff. Please be mature in this discussion.
As for me.. well yes I agree with all those who have posted previously. I think that person on facebook is a complete (religious) nutter and has never actually been in a proper relationship before.
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I agree with Aroxy (the comment she's made) & Kah.
Seriously? Love to be a choice? I think I'm going to cry from laughing too much. Srs bzns.
Love CANNOT be a choice. As Kah said, you do not choose to love someone. It happens, whether you like it or not. In my opinion, love is even impossible to fight against without being hurt at least a bit.
Also one more thing... I think saying 'I love you' to someone after a month isn't a big deal. And it /certainly/ isn't a big deal if you have known the person from before. But saying 'I love you' after you've been dating for.. Idk, five days? A big no. x_x Mostly, people don't care about it. They like, go around saying 'I love you' to anyone.
I highly doubt it's just me, but saying 'I love you' to someone is pointless unless you really mean it. I don't mind the jokes about it though, hell I do them myself. xD
& I disagree with a statement on the comment the other person has made; "if you go through life acting as if it's a feeling then every time you say "i love you" to that boyfriend or girlfriend your giving small parts of your heart away every time.. "
I really, really disagree with that. You give your heart away /ONLY/ if you /really/ mean it when you say you love someone. And I highly doubt that someone really loved every bf/gf they had if they had about 25 relationships. x_x
But even if you do give your heart away 25 times, in the end there's this thing where someone comes and puts all your pieces back together.
It's called marriage, darlings. :]
But don't get me wrong, marriage is not the only thing that can put your broken pieces back together. I believe that with every new love experience, when you truly love someone, your pieces come back together. ;]
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I went out with this guy who I'd only known for a few days, and he said he loved me after just a few weeks of dating. It was so awkward, I was just like 'Haha.. love you too,' but I didn't really x.x' I just didn't want to upset him.
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I think Love is a feeling but also a choice.
Love is natural and a emotion you feel, when you love somebody. I mean, I love all my friends, even my internet friends but I love them. I mean it in a friendly way.
But The Choosing Part, is that WHO you love is the choice. You can either choose to love somebody that hates you and is manipulating you or something or You can love someone who loves you back.
That simple.
Edit: I am a Christian but I am not taking offense. I mean Sure, Some of us believe in the Soulmate Stuff but Really, It just fate to meet the person you are gonna love.
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^ Agreeing with the previous posts, I do think love is a feeling. I believe you do not really choose who you may fall for. It just kinda, happens. I think you'll know when you've found the right person ^^. Though I, myself, have never been in love. I am 14, and don't really care much for dating right now.
But you cannot just choose to love someone. I feel that it is sort of forcing yourself. You may like what he/she looks like, how 'popular' they are. But what about on the inside? Isn't that what really counts? In my mind, anyways. Obviously it is not 'giving pieces of your heart away.' Where'd that come from?
You may say 'I love you' to your boy/girl friends, but I think you'll know when you really mean it. In all I do not believe love is a choice.
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Actually, partly the opposing comment is true. I you give pieces of your heart away to your highschool sweetheart, then what is left for the real person you gotta marry when your a fully-matured adult?.
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Well, you may love the person, but you don't have to give your heart away to them. You may love them now, but what happens when you don't anymore, and find someone new?
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Actually, That not what girls these day think. They think their current boyfriend will be their future husband. So They give all their heart to them, sometimes, If I am allowed to say this but -content removed by moderator-. And What If That guy break her heart.
What about later on, What is left for those girls to give their perfect husband?.
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you cannot love someone you dont trust if you cant trust someone thier is no love. it takes more then a few months to love someone truely, you love your family and friends because you trust them you know when things get bad they are there for you. you build trust by interacting and caring you dont use pure emotion. the emotion comes overtime through many factors one being time.
Loveing someone is a matter of being able to emotionaly give yourself to that person to beable to trust them and not wonder what they want to get by saying "i love you" and yes thier is an emotional love but emotions are not a permanant state of being they come and go. but to turely love you should be able to trust them and that takes time a few month is not enough to know if that person is right for you. i have watched my older sister go through the emotion of love but it never lasted because they based everything on that emotion and not on growing closer with each other building trust and bonding. she wound up pregnant and alone so yes love is an emotion but it is also much much more.
in simple terms love is trust, trust comes from bonds, bonds are created over time, time is what all relationships need to grow.
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Actually, That not what girls these day think. They think their current boyfriend will be their future husband. So They give all their heart to them, sometimes, If I am allowed to say this but -content removed by moderator-[/url]. And What If That guy break her heart.
What about later on, What is left for those girls to give their perfect husband?.
You don't have to be 'girls these days' ^^ Be yourself. And just because of a mistake doesn't mean you can't love the one you marry.
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There is no such thing as giving your heart away, because it is always yours. You can share it with another, but you never get rid of it.
And there is also no such thing as a limited amount of love. That's kind of what you are getting at, there is a limit on how much love you can give, but that's not true, you will ALWAYS be able to give more and more love.
So what if they -content removed by moderator- to the person they think is the one? It doesn't mean they have nothing to give to the one they do ending up married to. They can still give their ENDLESS love and devotion. One does not need -content removed by moderator- to have that perfect marriage, or to give in their relationship. Yes, having your first with your husband would be special, but it is not neccessary. They give true love and affection, unlike what they gave to those in the past. Because that love faded and died, it was never anything truly special, but to be with the one you love forever is -content removed by moderator-
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If anything, I agree with your side of the argument the most, Aroxy.
Love is only a "choice" in a case such as mine. I don't get involved with the romantic sort of love since I choose not to, but I'm pretty sure that I'm capable of feeling it (Never have though). The only "love" that I care to feel is that which is felt toward family and good friends; it's obviously quite different from what's being referred to here, but I wanted to throw that out there to make sure that no one thinks I'm saying "I have a black heart, I cannot love." xD
Love itself is a feeling. It's an emotion. Really, I can't say too much of this on the subject of romantic love, but I can say plenty regarding what you feel toward family. I never CHOSE to love any member of my family; I simply love them by nature. And I'm sure that the same love was lodged at the back of my head from the moment of birth; it's an instinct for a child to love their mother/family.
Are they saying that we all have a set path with who we love? That's a little extreme.
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my views can be expressed in this video :3
*warning might have a bad word i can't remember* =P
Adam Sandler - Love Stinks HD (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3s5xsVHOJQs#)
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^ LOL <3
& A lot of good points here, just remember all of these are opinions, and nothing is really / true / here. xDDD
I do agree that to love someone to the fullest, you have to trust them.
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I'm not trying to change anyone's views.. just interested in how other people feel about the subject aye
~Aroxy