Author Topic: Sparx's Ultimate Guide to Writing & Character Design + Critiques!  (Read 15812 times)

Offline Dangeryena

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Greetings, all! For Thanksgiving, I have decided to give the gift of knowledge... By completely redoing this thread! It's been nearly a year, after all.

This thread is intended for users of all ages and experience levels.

Critiques are to be taken with a grain of salt. Nothing I may correct should be taken personally.

Being rude or arguing in the thread could get it taken down, so please don't. I'll ask for posts of this sort to be removed. Take it to PM if you want to argue/debate, please.

Table of Contents
1. Introduction
2. Grammar & Spelling
3. Literary Devices
4. Word Choice
5. Character Development
6. No-No's
7. Critique Time!
« Last Edit: November 28, 2015, 02:18:25 am by Sparx »
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Offline Dangeryena

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Re: Sparx's Ultimate Guide to Writing & Character Design + Critiques!
« Reply #1 on: November 26, 2015, 06:18:03 pm »
Grammar & Spelling

The best place to begin is with grammar and spelling, the most basic part of writing. Here's some basic grammar vocabulary to help you out.

Noun - A person, place, or thing. Ex: Wolf, tree, star.
Proper Noun - Specific name of a person, place, or thing, which is capitalized. Ex: Benjamin Franklin, Eiffel Tower, United States of America.
Verb - An action word. Ex: Run, bite, hunt.
Adjective - Describes a noun. Ex: Hot, scary, thirsty.
Adverb - Describes a verb. Ex: Fast, quietly, there.
Clause - A unit just below a sentence which contains a subject and a predicate.
Subject - Part of the sentence being described.
Predicate - Contains a verb and states something about the subject.
Independent Clause - A unit just below a sentence which can stand alone. Ex: He was quick. No one saw. The dog was black.
Dependent Clause - A unit just below a sentence which cannot stand alone and make sense. Used to add onto an independent clause. Ex: After he escaped. Longer than he intended. Where she was born.
Sentence - Contains a minimum of one independent clause.

In the spoiler below is a list of common spelling and grammar mistakes and their correct forms.

Spelling

*A contraction is a word made by combining 2 existing words and putting an apostrophe (') where letters have been removed. A good way to remember how to use them is by saying the two words they're made of and seeing if it makes sense.

Its/It's

"Its" is used to show possession.

Incorrect: It's tail thumped on the ground.
Correct: Its tail thumped on the ground.

"It's" is a contraction* of "it" and "is".

Incorrect: Its cold outside.
Correct: It's cold outside.

Your/You're

"Your" is possessive.

Incorrect: Your not one of us.
Correct: That's not yours.

"You're" is a contraction* of "you" and "are".

Incorrect: That's not you'res.
Correct: You're not one of us.

Their/They're/There

"Their" is possessive.

Incorrect: She was over their.
Correct: The territory was theirs.

"They're" is a contraction* of "they" and "are".

Incorrect: The territory was they'res.
Correct: They're pretty rude.

"There" describes a location.

Incorrect: The territory was there's.
Correct: She was over there.

Effect/Affect

"Effect" is the noun version.

Incorrect: It did not effect him.
Correct: It had no effect.

"Affect" is the verb version.

Incorrect: It had no affect.
Correct: It did not affect him.

Rogue/Rouge

"Rouge" means "red" in French, so...

A rogue (in animal terms) is a normally social animal that is living apart from a group, often having destructive and aggressive tendencies, like prideless male lions.

Incorrect: The rouge stalked in claimed territory.
Correct: The rogue stalked in claimed territory.

Guardian/Gardian/Gaurdian

a "guardian" is a protector. The other two are common misspellings.

Incorrect: She was his gaurdian.
Correct: She was his guardian.

(Not a word, but still.) A Lot/Alot

"Alot" is not a word.

"A lot" is... Well, a lot of something.

Incorrect: She had alot of food.
Correct: She had a lot of food.

Comma Rules

Use a comma before an independent clause. Similarly, do not put a comma before a dependent clause. Remember, an independent clause can stand alone and make sense, while a dependent clause cannot.

Trust me, it will eventually just come naturally.

Incorrect: She liked to take her time, so walked slowly.
Correct: She liked to take her time, so she walked slowly.
OR
She liked to take her time and so walked slowly.

Incorrect: Her fur was dense, and curly.
Correct: Her fur was dense and curly.

Incorrect: As time seemed to stop her eyes widened.
Correct: As time seemed to stop, her eyes widened.

If following dialogue with something along the lines of "they said", put a comma instead of a period inside of the quotation. This only applies if there would be a period.

Incorrect: "I didn't know." He said.
Correct: "I didn't know," He said.

But, if you're putting the "they said" part before the dialogue and the following words don't relate to the dialogue, just end in a period.

Incorrect: He said, "I didn't know," He seemed concerned.
Correct: He said, "I didn't know." He seemed concerned.

Other Quotation Rules

Punctuation goes inside of dialogue.

Incorrect: "What"?
Correct: "What?"

In the case of referring to a proper noun, punctuation goes outside of the quotations, as it belongs to the entire sentence and not the proper noun.

Incorrect: Do you like "Warriors?"
Correct: Do you like "Warriors"?

If putting quotations within quotations, use single quotation marks.

Incorrect: "He told me to "back off"."
Correct: "He told me to 'back off'."

Quotation marks can be used to put emphasis, normally meaning the opposite of what is said.

Ex: She was "singing". He was super "funny". He was "great" at video games.

Always begin a new paragraph when there is a new speaker.

Incorrect: "What is that?" She asked. "I don't know," He replied.
Correct: "What is that?" She asked.

"I don't know," He replied.

Other Rules

If a word/name ends in an "s" but you're trying to say that it possesses something (Ex: It is Sparx's thread), the apostrophe goes after the "s".

Incorrect: It was Corvus's territory.
Correct: It was Corvus' territory.

The same applies if you're talking about more than one of something.

Incorrect: It was many lion's kill.
Correct: It was many lions' kill.
« Last Edit: November 28, 2015, 02:23:08 am by Sparx »
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Offline Dangeryena

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Re: Sparx's Ultimate Guide to Writing & Character Design + Critiques!
« Reply #2 on: November 26, 2015, 06:18:15 pm »
Literary Devices

Next up is literary devices. Literary devices are techniques writers use to create special effects in their writing. Below are some that you'd be using in roleplaying.

Metaphor - A comparison of two unlike things. Ex: She was a whale.
He had the neck of a giraffe. She was his sunshine.
Simile - A metaphor using "like" or "as". Ex: She was as big as a whale. Her fur was like silk. Her eyes were like ice in their coldness.
Personification - Giving human traits to a non-human thing. Ex: The sun climbed up the horizon. The fog crawled across the ground. The flowers danced in the wind.
Imagery - visually descriptive or figurative language that creates a clear image in the reader's mind. Ex: The crystal clear, cascading waterfall tumbled down the jagged rocks.
Alliteration - Repetition of a letter or sound at the beginning of words in close proximity. Ex: Crystal clear, cascading waterfalls. Dumbfounded, drooling dogs. Trees tumbling towards town.
Hyperbole - An over-exaggeration. May also be a metaphor or simile. Ex: Her tail was as long as a snake. Her ears were the size of mountains. Her eyes turned the size of moons.
Onomatopoeia - A word created from the sound it describes. Ex: Bang, sizzle, splash.
Idiom - A figure of speech whose meaning is not to be taken literally. Ex: He has a screw loose. Have you lost your marbles? It's raining cats and dogs.
« Last Edit: November 28, 2015, 03:52:04 am by Sparx »
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Offline Dangeryena

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Re: Sparx's Ultimate Guide to Writing & Character Design + Critiques!
« Reply #3 on: November 26, 2015, 06:18:26 pm »
Word Choice

Now, this is where things may get a lil' dicey, because it's opinion time. Please do not take offense, as I am not down-talking anyone, but rather stating my opinion and providing an alternative which I think is better, especially because I have seen a lot of wolfspeak users say that they don't know a better way to write. I am doing this largely for them as well as those who just generally struggle in writing. I want to help!

Repeating this here: Being rude (like making fun of those who wolfspeak) or arguing in the thread could get it taken down, so please don't. I'll ask for posts of this sort to be removed. Take it to PM if you want to argue/debate, please.

It's essential to mix up your usage of words (and sentence structure) to prevent your posts from getting repetitive and bland. I believe it's for this reason that people wolfspeak outside of Wolfquest, where everyday words are very limited. From what I have heard users of wolfspeak say, they don't want their posts to be too bland, and using large, fancy-sounding words spices up posts and makes them prettier. Not for me, but for some.

My issue comes in with the fact that:

- These words are being used in a way that is either grammatically incorrect or impractical for use in writing, like anatomical/taxonomical terms which are Latin and only used in their respected branches of science, not casual use. It makes it hard to visualize what you mean when you use those.
- Wolfspeak encourages a focus on switching up words and not other great literary devices which may leave posts seeming lackluster.
- A lot of people who wolfspeak use these words because they don't even know their true meanings (as has been the case with the more inappropriate ones), and that's not good in my eyes.
- Also, it looks silly.

This is not to say that I look down on or dislike anyone for wolfspeaking, I just disagree with using it. Would kinda like for people to stop using it, to be honest, and that's for the simple reason of... I don't think it's being a good writer, as many think it is. You can call it a style of writing, but that doesn't make it any less of a bad habit in my eyes.

My opinion in a nutshell is that if you want to be a really good writer, using a thesaurus to replace perfectly fine words with complex, unfitting ones is not the way to go. You are making it it difficult to picture what you are trying to describe, and the entire point of writing is to describe a situation. Pretty contradictory, if you ask me.

BUT HEY, if you're just casual about roleplaying or whatever and still wanna use it, I don't care. It doesn't hurt me or anything, I just think it looks silly and that your posts would look better without it. To be honest, wolfspeak is pretty fun to mess around with, though I don't use it seriously. I just want to give an alternative to those who do want to improve their writing by giving an alternative.

Instead of wolfspeak, I encourage the use of literary devices and words that make sense in that scenario depending on the mood. There are plenty of other options that talented writers use, mainly the literary devices I listed earlier. I'll list some examples of beautiful posts below that don't require wolfspeak to sound fancy.

Wolfspeak version: The condensations northward formed an ebon hue upon the lifeforms inferior to them. If Corvus truly must have been conscious whilst the hours remained diurnal, this was the only forecast the masculine would appreciatively partake in. His amber occuli turned skywards in inaudible indebtedness for this glorious day.

Non-wolfspeak version: The clouds above had formed a blanket of darkness, blocking the light from the creatures below. Everything appeared as if the color had been sucked out of it. Since Corvus could only be forced to be up during the day, though, this was the only weather he could enjoy. His fiery gaze was cast upwards in silent gratefulness for the overcast.


The first seemed very over-the top and took much longer to process due to the large words, to me. I used metaphor, simile, and adjectives to spice up my post.

Wolfspeak version: The lass' sleek fleece was a stunning azure-gray hue, dotted with rhythmic spots. She was small-framed, though she adorned long columns compared to the entirety of her form. Her icy pools bore into one's very soul, aided by her angular features. Parting her mandible to vocalize, her cords reverberated in a soothing, melodic fashion. "Going without me?" The lass jested, entering a trot gait to catch up to the large brute, silken banner swaying this way and that as she locomoted.

Non-wolfspeak version: Celeste's sleek coat was a shimmering blue-gray, like the sky just before a storm. It was dotted in patterned spots, giving her an even more regal look. She was small, but her stilt-like legs made her appear much taller and slim. Her icy blue gaze bore into one's very core, able to pluck the most valuable of information from one's lips. This was aided by aristocratic, angular features, her snout thin and perfectly straight. As she parted her lips to speak, it sounded as if a melody was performed. "Going without me?" Celeste toyed, graciously trotting upon slender legs to catch up to the towering male, long, silk-like tail swaying behind her as she walked.


See how much more detail I put in the second version and how much more you learned about her? This is because I was focused on describing Celeste in ways other than simply replacing words with "fancier" ones. I used similes, metaphors, adjectives, and adverbs to accomplish this.
« Last Edit: November 28, 2015, 02:20:59 am by Sparx »
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Offline Dangeryena

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Re: Sparx's Ultimate Guide to Writing & Character Design + Critiques!
« Reply #4 on: November 26, 2015, 06:18:46 pm »
« Last Edit: November 28, 2015, 04:22:44 am by Sparx »
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Offline Dangeryena

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Re: Sparx's Ultimate Guide to Writing & Character Design + Critiques!
« Reply #5 on: November 26, 2015, 06:18:52 pm »
« Last Edit: November 28, 2015, 04:29:38 am by Sparx »
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Offline Dangeryena

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Re: Sparx's Ultimate Guide to Writing & Character Design + Critiques!
« Reply #6 on: November 26, 2015, 06:19:00 pm »
Critique Time!

Here we are at last! Want me to critique your writing skills? Your character? Both? Sure thing! Just fill out the appropriate forms below.

Please delete what is in the curly brackets, (these -> {}) and type outside of the bold (these, minus the *'s [b*] [/b*]). For the Writing Critique Form, you can put N/A for "Characters Involved" if you're just practicing imagery.

Code: [Select]
[center][size=14pt]Writing Critique Form[/size][/center]

[size=12pt][b]Characters involved:[/b]
[b]Setting:[/b]
[b]Basic Overview of Sample:[/b]
[b]Any Specific Advice You Want?:[/b]
[b]Anything Else?:[/b]
[b]Sample:[/b]
[/size]

Code: [Select]
[center][size=14pt]Character Critique Form[/size][/center]

[size=12pt]
[b]Character Name:[/b]
[b]Gender:[/b]
[b]Age:[/b]
[b]Species:[/b]
[b]Sexuality:[/b]
[b]Appearance {image preferred, but description is ok if necessary}:[/b]
[b]Personality:[/b]
[b]Backstory {optional}:[/b]
[b]Other:[/b]
[/size]
« Last Edit: November 28, 2015, 02:21:57 am by Sparx »
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Offline Dangeryena

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Re: Sparx's Ultimate Guide to Writing & Character Design + Critiques!
« Reply #7 on: November 28, 2015, 12:32:06 am »
Reserved spot - Just in case!
« Last Edit: November 28, 2015, 02:22:07 am by Sparx »
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Offline Dangeryena

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Re: Sparx's Ultimate Guide to Writing & Character Design + Critiques!
« Reply #8 on: November 28, 2015, 01:52:43 am »
We're finally open for business! -cuts ribbon before passing out from exhaustion-

But yes, I'm finally finished! Feel free to post feedback and/or some forms for me to get crackin' on!
« Last Edit: November 28, 2015, 02:22:25 am by Sparx »
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Offline yourlocalcrow

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Re: Sparx's Ultimate Guide to Writing & Character Design + Critiques!
« Reply #9 on: November 29, 2015, 06:50:21 pm »
Writing Critique Form

Characters involved: Alcor, Sam
Setting: Temple of Dreams
Basic Overview of Sample: Alcor and Sam are chatting, due to Alcor being bored out of his mind.
Any Specific Advice You Want?: I just want to know how I can improve as a roleplayer.
Anything Else?:
Sample:
    Alcor sighed, putting the fire in his palm out as he leaned against the pillar of the temple. He realized how ironic it was that he had been summoned in a temple dedicated to dreams, and that he was a dream demon. Since it seemed that no one needed him, he picked his head up from staring at the ground to that healer girl Sam. The demon had no clue why she was still around, or why the General hadn't moved her station. The two didn't exactly get along that well.
  "So," Alcor began, voice flat with boredom, "do mortals keep in touch with their family, once they go to live on their own?"
   Sam shrugged, turning away from the sniper she was pointing at the field to face the dream demon, "Yeah, most. Some people don't, though. Did you?"
   Alcor was caught off guard by that question, eyes widening for a split second. "My family?" he inquired, as if trying to confirm that was what she was asking about. As Sam rolled her eyes, he suppressed all the memories that flooded forth. "My family's all dead. . . how could I?" As his eyes misted, he turned his head away. He couldn't let anyone know, couldn't even hint, that he had any weaknesses. Couldn't afford to be exploited.
   Sam must've taken it the wrong way. "Tch, did you kill them, ya bastard?"
   He glared at Sam. "Oh, you really think I'm that shallow?" he growled, "You really think I'd kill my own kin?" His eyes went from emotional to narrowing with anger as he stood up straight, tightly gripping his decorative cane in an effort to restrain himself from turning this woman inside-out.
   "Yeah, it wouldn't surprise me."
   "Well shut the hell up, because you don't know the smallest bit about me," he spat out between clenched teeth, nails digging into his palms through his gloves. His eyes were literally burning, blue flame floating away from them like inverted tears.
   "I'm not going to take orders from some demon with anger issues, so I'll say whatever the hell I want."
   "I said, shut up!" As Alcor yelled, his entire body was engulfed in blue flame, "Just shut up! You don't know ****, so just stop running your mouth!"
    Sam turned to see what the loud whoosh sound had come from, eyes widening to see that Alcor was, quite literally, fuming. She turned back to the sniper, and her job, shooting a hellhound that was in the vicinity.


Character Critique Form


Character Name: Alcor
Gender: Male
Age: 32
Species: Humanoid Dream Demon
Sexuality: Aromantic
Appearance:
Personality: Rude, borderline insane, easy to anger(with certain topics), kind towards minors, extremely protective of those close to him, childish/immature, power hungry
Backstory: When on vacation in Oregon at the age of 12, a dream demon tried to posses him without a contract, but only succeeded at making him a dream demon. Only his twin sister could interact with him, and he felt guilty that he never got to have a family as he watched his sister raise one. When she died of cancer, he slowly went insane over the course of a year, receding into the Mindscape and away from the rest of world. He never forgot the injustice of how he became a demon, and would still do anything for a child that summoned him or made a contract with him. However, he is rude towards adult summoners, only making contracts for them to gain enough power one day to be in the physical world without being summoned.
Other:
-Reads minds
-Enters people's dreams
-Creating anything with a snap of his fingers
-Omnipotent sight
-Can summon blue fire into palms-- entire body engulfs in blue flame when angry
-Turns people's dreams into nightmares when bored
« Last Edit: November 29, 2015, 07:12:50 pm by Whatever. »