I like how it is so far and it definitely has potential. c:
If you'd like my little bit of critique I'd say it's maybe a tad too fast-paced. Maybe slow down and introduce your characters to us a bit more? Ya know, what are they like? What do they like to do? What do they look like? X3
I'd also advise that it's best if you don't go into too much detail on the romantic parts to where it could be considered violating a rule as such content is prohibited on FeralHeart. Just try to keep it PG13 for some of our younger, and older, players. ^^
Keep working on that story though, I'm sure it'll turn out great!