Feral Heart

FeralHeart Creations => FeralHeart Media => Stories => Topic started by: Garfield. on March 31, 2020, 02:15:11 am

Title: The masked creature
Post by: Garfield. on March 31, 2020, 02:15:11 am

Not so long ago, a wolf wandered the forest, it was almost night and the wolf trotted in search of prey. Minutes passed and a rabbit shape appeard in the distance, the wolf glanced and crouched, every step he made was cautious to not alert the critter. He was near and in a sudden move, he bolted to it. The rabbit dashed trying to escape the canine but the wolf managed to catch it.The wolf killed the rabbit and had his reward, but, the wolf felt guilty, he regarded with horror the harrowing scene he created, all blood spread in the grass. He shook his head and growled in anger, he started to hit his head on a tree until he lost consciousness. After a long time passed, he opened his eyes wide and looked around, his grey with white coat shifted to a black one, his eyes where blank and his head decorated with a skull, a rabbit like one but bigger. Now he wasn't able to feel any hunger or thirst, he wass just a wandering creature in the forest.

(just something I wanted to write, constructive critism is aprecciated)

Title: Re: The masked creature
Post by: Dark_heart on April 08, 2020, 11:51:13 am

Wow.
Your story is really unique! But it isn't bad. In my opinion you should continue it - write new adventures, next parts, or only new one-shot. You have talent!

Title: Re: The masked creature
Post by: Garfield. on April 08, 2020, 11:53:41 am

Thanks so much, this is another version of a legend we had to do in my school X)

Title: Re: The masked creature
Post by: Azurain on April 08, 2020, 02:08:18 pm

Very nice story! I'd like to see where it goes! A couple of things though, replace "Spreaded" with "Spread" and "hit his head with a tree" to "hit is head ON a tree". Otherwise, you have really nice use of words and it's rather captivating.

Title: Re: The masked creature
Post by: Garfield. on April 08, 2020, 02:14:00 pm

Quote from: .Amity. on April 08, 2020, 02:08:18 pm

Very nice story! I'd like to see where it goes! A couple of things though, replace "Spreaded" with "Spread" and "hit his head with a tree" to "hit is head ON a tree". Otherwise, you have really nice use of words and it's rather captivating.

 Thank you Ami, it's nice to get corrected, english is not my first language so I'm up to learning new things <3

Title: Re: The masked creature
Post by: TruthOfTheMt. on January 10, 2022, 05:49:22 am

That was surely interesting and captivating...