Author Topic: The masked creature  (Read 2640 times)

Offline Garfield.

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The masked creature
« on: March 31, 2020, 02:15:11 am »
Not so long ago, a wolf wandered the forest, it was almost night and the wolf trotted in search of prey. Minutes passed and a rabbit shape appeard in the distance, the wolf glanced and crouched, every step he made was cautious to not alert the critter. He was near and in a sudden move, he bolted to it. The rabbit dashed trying to escape the canine but the wolf managed to catch it.The wolf killed the rabbit and had his reward, but, the wolf felt guilty, he regarded with horror the harrowing scene he created, all blood spread in the grass. He shook his head and growled in anger, he started to hit his head on a tree until he lost consciousness. After a long time passed, he opened his eyes wide and looked around, his grey with white coat shifted to a black one, his eyes where blank and his head decorated with a skull, a rabbit like one but bigger. Now he wasn't able to feel any hunger or thirst, he wass just a wandering creature in the forest.

(just something I wanted to write, constructive critism is aprecciated)
« Last Edit: April 08, 2020, 02:14:45 pm by QuietMacaroni »

Offline Dark_heart

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Re: The masked creature
« Reply #1 on: April 08, 2020, 11:51:13 am »
Wow.
Your story is really unique! But it isn't bad. In my opinion you should continue it - write new adventures, next parts, or only new one-shot. You have talent!
On new account Aiiokia

Offline Garfield.

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Re: The masked creature
« Reply #2 on: April 08, 2020, 11:53:41 am »
Thanks so much, this is another version of a legend we had to do in my school X)

Offline Azurain

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Re: The masked creature
« Reply #3 on: April 08, 2020, 02:08:18 pm »
Very nice story! I'd like to see where it goes! A couple of things though, replace "Spreaded" with "Spread" and "hit his head with a tree" to "hit is head ON a tree". Otherwise, you have really nice use of words and it's rather captivating.

Offline Garfield.

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Re: The masked creature
« Reply #4 on: April 08, 2020, 02:14:00 pm »
Very nice story! I'd like to see where it goes! A couple of things though, replace "Spreaded" with "Spread" and "hit his head with a tree" to "hit is head ON a tree". Otherwise, you have really nice use of words and it's rather captivating.
Thank you Ami, it's nice to get corrected, english is not my first language so I'm up to learning new things <3

Offline TruthOfTheMt.

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Re: The masked creature
« Reply #5 on: January 10, 2022, 05:49:22 am »
That was surely interesting and captivating...

"She glowed as the moon shone on her, illuminating her immensely white coat; the markings on her face glowing as a soft nightlight would..."