wasn't sure where to put this one but for my 18th i decided i'd finally give back on my birthday.
“this is the story of how i learned to value perspective, which is probably one of the only things we actually have power over in life.” - ryan higa in his autobiography, how to write good.
perspective and optimism are not usually what we’d like to consider a part of our daily lives. we live in a taking, draining culture, surrounded with information of the bad and the ugly by the hour. we form negative opinions about good things because it’s just that easy to harp on them.
but is looking at the world through a negative perspective because it’s fun and easy really what we ought to be doing, especially if we’re seeking change, rights or a reason to be given a platform?
optimism is difficult. i’ll say it now. i spent most of my time growing up like “i’m not a pessimist but i don’t think i’m an optimist, either.”
[and if i’m being honest the split between optimism and pessimism is one of my least favorite concepts in the entire world]
And then i had my personal crash of 2017. I thought i could never be loved, i spent an evening sitting still in my chair, wondering if i was able to even get out and go to bed to escape what i was thinking about, i had days i laid in bed for hours because i couldn’t even kick out my legs and get up.
And yet today i consider myself an optimist. Even with the knowledge that those thoughts can’t be gone forever.
why’s that? what’s the point in finding everything sunshine and rainbows, arte? It’s not all that! We live in dark times and i’ll agree with you til the cows come home on that one.
but being optimistic is beyond that. It’s, funnily enough, the refusal to be negative, or so goes the definition i find myself agreeing with the most. it’s not ignoring the worst, it’s seeing the worst and garnering something from the ashes. it’s the unspeakable beauty you find in pain, the ability to smile even when you know your game’s up.
and it’s the toughest damn thing i’ve ever had to learn how to do.
and that’s exactly why i do it.
the concept “challenge” in this modern era is usually reserved for a few specific groups of people, namely athletes, thrillseekers and anyone but the general populace.
so it’s sorta taboo to challenge yourself. We’ve got digital assistants, self driving cars underway and a million ads that promise to make your life easier if you buy the product. no more difficulties, just streamlined living in every aspect. and yeah, getting things done faster and having things at our fingertips is marginally easier than technology even conceived or designed in the last decade.
but when our everyday lives are so easy, it makes the big tasks that much more intimidating.
we can’t stand the thought more and more of having to earn our keep.
and the same goes for us emotionally. with every day running smooth as a machine is it any wonder we have complications with emoting sometimes and letting the tough feelings be there and be natural.
now i'm gonna pause here, just for a moment. what if i told you that you didn't have to be happy to smile? wild idea, i know. but it's true. it's one of the toughest things i ever forced myself to figure out because sometimes things aren't okay. but actions speak louder than words. smiling or finding joy in something tough isn't weakness, it isn't pretending there's nothing wrong, it's strength of the most unbreakable kind. it's compassion and mercy in times of being tested and thrown to the ground. it's being victorious not in your situation but in yourself, which is the first step to getting yourself on level grounding and fixing your complications.
and that little shift in perspective is all the more impactful when you look back on it. when you see the time that, yeah, you can smile against the odds. you can have hope against it all.
i firmly believe everyone is capable of doing it. usually when faced with desperation i see people turn to ways to farce happiness or throw it aside altogether, which in most cases doesn't work out in their favor. i'm not gonna say you can't be upset about circumstances or cry or be mad or all the natural responses to challenges that strike from the unknown. but amidst the pain what's keeping you from smiling?
