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I'm not really sure where to put this, but I figured to put it here.
And of course, Spaz is apart of the FeralHeart community. All of our pets are because we are.
On July 24th, 2020, I lost my 10 year old baby boy, Spaz, and I've never felt more torn.
Before I went downstairs, I held Spaz for a little while then went downstairs to see my dog, Dakota. Spaz was completely fine before and after that.
Not long later, I went back upstairs and found Spaz laying on the ground, panting heavily and it seemed like he was choking despite that he wasn't. I tried gently patting his back to see if I can get him to cough anything up but he didn't so I ran back downstairs in a panic yelling that something was wrong with Spaz and my older brother came up. He tried to gently lift Spaz by the hindlegs to get Spaz to cough anything up but Spaz meowed and my brother put him back down, now knowing that meant nothing was in his throat. My grandmother was at the bottom of the steps and called for my grandfather and they both started up the stairs. My brother looked in his room and found that Spaz had peed and pooped in the same spot, most likely at the same time. Spaz meowed a few times, clearly in pain and scared. We figured we needed to get him to an emergency vet ASAP so we got him in his carrier with some struggle because he did move from the hallway into my room. I tried to fight my family tooth and nail to go with them because I wasn't leaving Spaz, but eventually they won and I had to stay home because not only am I high risk, but I have Cystic Fibroses Related Diabetes and they were worried how they'd deal with me crashing if I did.
My brother texted me when he and my grandfather got there, saying that they can't enter the building but there was a "curbside hospital" for the pets. Spaz got put on an oxygen mask, then they later did x-rays and bloodwork. They found that he had heart failure, was in extreme pain, and had to be put down. I texted my brother begging them to stay in the room when he got put down because I know that even though it's hard to watch your pet go, it'll be even scarier of an experience for them when their owners aren't there. I really wish I was there with Spaz and got to say a proper goodbye. My grandma keeps telling me that I did enough for Spaz though because I was the one who found him and called everyone.
I chose to get him cremated so that I can keep his ashes in my room with me.
This is where the praise begins.
I want to give the biggest thank you ever to Spaz for being with me for a whole 10-11 years. You've seen my ups and you've seen my downs. We were there for each there whenever we needed it, like when I lost my mom January 2019 and I was able to cry into your fur without you getting bothered or when I cried while you were in the room all those times and you didn't judge me. I can't thank you enough for keeping me sane and grounded for all those 10 years and for being the best thing that ever happened to me.
I still remember when you were tiny and didn't really know us that well and my grandparents kept you in the garage but brought you into the house, worried you'd get cold out there in the winter. Ever since then, you stayed inside the house and you grew on my grandparents. Literally the best decision they've ever made to bring you inside. You were taken away at some point and I was the one who made the entire family go find you, bringing you out of your carrier from that tiny, dark room with a bunch of cats that were about to get put down. You were so terrified and there was a light in your eyes when you saw me again.
My family is already asking me about when I want to get another cat and I know the process will be long when I do, but I just can't right now because I don't want to feel like I'm replacing you. You're literally irreplaceable and had your own unique personality. But there was a few things you shared in common with other cats: Begging for food even after you were already fed, sleeping on the bare floor even though we bought you beds and towers, and sitting at our feet meowing for attention.
Rest In Peace Spaz.
You were the cutest, craziest, fattest cat ever and I loved you so, so much. I know you're keeping my mom company in Heaven now. Take care of each other for me.
I'll miss you forever and always, buddy.
(https://i.imgur.com/hizDSN0b.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/2qJKkzdb.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/vgWhL6zb.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/re4MYKRb.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/s1KwAZJb.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/SwGy1Heb.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/IAEIFHBb.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/R8FnQ8Jb.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/W1IFumVb.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/o2DR70Yb.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/zx1hdf3b.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/Ize2qb6b.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/KA07Ktnb.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/0207891b.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/Pv2okKmb.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/mCUeTTMb.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/TMM71n9b.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/CQHWHykb.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/pR69eewb.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/eohZnSAb.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/1ckcjuLb.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/Qtj3ue3b.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/Uz53WWeb.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/qFBifi8b.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/SF80jnvb.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/C4ih5Wjb.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/9PUu9mOb.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/JgRcnyBb.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/jY0qgzqb.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/Nj9LPKkb.jpg)
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Ohh Spaz, you are a fluff ball.
May you venture the heavens with the biggest springs in your step, rest in peace.
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I love this fluffy floof.
Bye.
❤️
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I know what is losing a great friend. Stay strong, I'm sure he lived a good life thanks to you and now walks heaven in peace.
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Losing a pet sucks. I know exactly how you feel
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I'm so sorry for your loss. It is always very difficult losing a pet ~ especially one that you are closer to. Keeping all of those fond memories will be important for the rest of your life, and I am happy that you got to experience so much love and affection with this cat. I hope that he is up in kitty heaven having a blast and in peace. <3
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i know goodbyes all too fondly and i never like seeing other people have to say them either, i really am sorry that you have to go through this, scout. our pets are always a constant in our lives, consistency and rationality in our very chaotic and unpredictable lives. i have to say i'm glad you've shared with us and have decided to honor spaz this way, thank you for making this post and may spaz only lay in the warmest rays of sunshine in heaven.
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Thank you all so much.
I know it's gonna be hard adapting to life without him anymore, but I know that with time and patience, I will be able to look back on memories of Spaz and smile without crying.
It was definitely different waking up this morning and not having a cat standing on my chest, meowing his head off for breakfast and then continuing to walk around the house without seeing him laying in our way or hearing him playing with his toy. Sometime last night, I was thinking of how upset I was that we didn't bring his toy for him to hold onto because even though it's all torn up, he loved that little guy.
When we hauled Spaz off last night in his carrier to the vet, Dakota definitely knew something was wrong and was barking nonstop.
This morning, Dakota seemed less energetic (and he still does). He went to his bed all by himself and moped around. He didn't even eat the 3 bacon treats we threw him, he just let them bounce off his head onto the floor. I know Dakota knows that Spaz isn't here anymore and although that means there is nobody to bully him anymore, that also means he can't stand at the bottom of the steps and bark at Spaz to play with him.
My family is already talking to me about another cat and has showed me cats on our local Humane Society website and on petfinder.com and there's definitely been some cute cats, cats with funny names, and cats that fit what we're looking for (In our area, a kitten, and good with dogs. Spaz wasn't the best with Dakota but that was because Spaz was already an adult cat we had for years and then suddenly we brought in a dog he didn't know). My grandma even said she wasn't opposed to getting a bonded pair, which is 2 cats that were in one listing and came together. I already know that when we do want a cat, I want to name him Pancake to match my friend's cat, Omelette.
Again, thanks for the best memories ever Spaz.
(https://i.imgur.com/qQMQofrb.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/w5NoLQJb.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/1kYGQseb.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/j1RGK4db.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/02A76EPb.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/9Q9GWmyb.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/CMBNpgob.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/wfNLC61b.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/NBVUNC4b.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/teY6t1eb.jpg)
And thank you guys for the kind messages to me and Spaz.
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May that good sweet boy rest in peace over the rainbow bridge.
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I remember when my family lost our last 2 cats. I wish you all the best.
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Rest in Peace to a legendary friend.
May they have a peaceful time and rest. They shall be dearly missed <'3
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I'm so sorry for your loss. Rest in peace, kitty.
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I’m sorry for your loss Wolfsquad. I know the feelings you’ve expressed so well here... Our pets are as much a part of our family as any human member. They grow with us, and experience life along with us. Sometimes with all the things we get caught up doing in our daily lives it’s easy to lose track of just how fast time goes by with our time spent with them. They leave a tremendous mark in our lives even once they’ve passed on. I know how hard it is to adjust to the life without them, no matter how much we know the day would eventually come we put it off a lot. We try not to think about it. Then when the day comes even though we anticipated it at some point it doesn’t make the process any easier.
I’m sorry that you weren’t able to go to the hospital along side him. I know that’s especially hurtful not being able to share in those last moments and comfort them. But know that even if you weren’t there I’m sure he was grateful for all of you and life you gave him. He sounded like a really beautiful soul, and the pictures you shared of him are so lovely. You guys gave him the best life you could and that means a lot <3
When my childhood dog passed away I found a lot of solace in just filling my mind with the most funny and silly memories of her. Don’t think of the sad times or the final moments. Just remember the joy they gave you in life every time the sad feelings come. Know that he is at peace now. It will be hard and it’s ok to mourn but I hope that helps you find some peace during the tough moments. Keep the happiness he gave you close to heart always. It’s especislly helpful when you have a part of them to keep forever like the ashes <3 We have my baby girl’s ourselves.
Maybe once you’ve had some time to heal your heart you can consider bringing another life into your home. Often times a new pet will help you through the healing process. Even if your heart still hurts now don’t be afraid to open it up to love another cat. Celebrate Spaz’s life through them too <3
May Spaz rest in eternal peace. Thank you for letting us know him and how much he meant to you. I wish you and your family well as you heal. Make sure to give Dakota lots of attention and love too so he doesn’t get depressed <3
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Loosing a companion is definitely not easy, be it from having to give them away due to not being able to properly take care of them, or simply due to it being their time.
Spaz without a doubt loved you so dearly. You did everything you possibly could for him, and he is forever grateful I am sure. I'm terribly sorry you couldn't go with him to the vet, but remember that without you he wouldn't be as peaceful as he is now. May he rest in peace~