Game & Forum Discussion => Forum Discussion => Topic started by: Wyldercat on July 31, 2016, 12:52:47 am
Title: An Honest Rant
Post by: Wyldercat on July 31, 2016, 12:52:47 am
Alright, now I know many of ye will take this the wrong way, but this is just how *I* feel. 'Tis an opinion, and I doubt many will like it, but I do ask you hear me out. Also, I would like to hear if anyone else feels like this, or has another perspective on the matter. I'd like to keep this mature and most importantly, HONEST if a disagreement does break out, however.
Alright, now before I get started, this is NOT a personal issue I have.
So, a few other users have brought this up recently, whether publicly or in private discussion, and honestly I'm getting tired of it. The blunt point is this: I feel like everyone's just kissing up to everyone and acting super unnaturally nice, but with no sincerity whatsoever; and the bulk of the community just seems fake to me. Now, I know what all of you reading are thinking. People are being nice? What's wrong with that? Well, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being polite, or telling white lies, or being friendly. It's just that, the community is based on who can butter up the nicest, and not on other actual good people who may just be too shy or blunt to make a super huge deal and compliment everyone on every little thing. I've seen users with an absolute heart of GOLD been completely overshadowed, regarded as "unfriendly" or "distant," and sometimes even some... rude things in private just because they aren't stereotypically outgoing. This really bothers me to no end.
And yes, I am aware that much of this community is young and the like, but still, if everyone is constantly slammed with compliments and praise, and being blown up for something, then no one's truly special; and it's extremely unfair to people who do something just as well, maybe even better, than those glorified members, but receive little to moderate attention for their dedication. Many of you probably think "well jeez, Twisted, you're just jealous because so and so didn't get as much attention as so and so." I will admit, I am slightly biased, as many friends of mine were overshadowed in such a way, but this isn't the issue, but a factor in the pic picture.
Now, this big picture, as I mentioned before in the blunt point, is that people don't seem genuine. I am aware this is the internet, and it is difficult to properly decipher tone or feeling through text alone, but still; it can give off some mixed feelings if someone is everyone's sweetheart in public, but rude and or selfish when actually spoken to in a one on one. I personally have been talked down to or "shut up" and "yessed" to death by people I once considered kind. The thing is, as difficult as it is to get truly caught up and interested in a strictly internet topic, no one seems to care about actual issues users may have and are mentioning, or something they are proud of, but try to act like they're suddenly best friends or glorify the member for the sake of a good reputation. Now this is scarcely viewed as a bad thing at first. It's good to keep up a generally positive reputation, and that is achieved through being kind and considerate, especially to those who need it. It's the right thing to do, right? Well, sometimes a good action for the wrong action could also classify as a bad action, even if only subliminally. Now, I will admit, I am guilty of this on occasions, but as someone who's been through many of the same issues that people may have, and I'd feel better knowing that I've helped someone. However, many of the people who offer to be a shoulder to cry on are empty offers to seem like they care, however, many I know have been blatantly rejected by those who offered advice or a "safe place" to talk. I know some things are too personal, but if someone truly needs to vent; why offer to comfort them if you're just going to brush them away like it's nothing in private? The answer is simple. Reputation. Everyone just pretends to care about everyone to the ends of the earth when they really couldn't give a rats backside about whether or not the person will benefit, and it's very selfish and it bothers me.
Also, even when assisting those in need, I feel like people are just throwing out the darndest things as random suggestions that may have NOTHING to do with the actual issue, and much of the time make the problem worse. I understand not everyone is an expert, and everyone makes mistakes. However, when people barely read up on the issue and just spit out the same answers in every thread, even if it's already been stated that the said solution did nothing to help the issue, or is unrelated, it's really just... off.
Now, I know many of those reading this may be offended. It's a reasonable response to someone seemingly challenging most of the community. However, I mean nothing personal, and this is not meant as a threat, call-out post, or as a form of attention seeking. I just would like to get this off my chest, and I am curious if others feel the same way. For those who have made it this far, thank you for your time and patience.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: Kalaban on July 31, 2016, 12:55:40 am
The fun part about this is, I've seen the negative affect this has on the community. Some members are blown up to the possibility that any bluntness that is taken with its' own compliments and constructive criticism, is thought of as awful and rude.
Honestly, egos are meant to be moderate- not inflated.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: Wyldercat on July 31, 2016, 12:58:21 am
The fun part about this is, I've seen the negative affect this has on the community. Some members are blown up to the possibility that any bluntness that is taken with its' own compliments and constructive criticism, is thought of as awful and rude.
Honestly, egos are meant to be moderate- not inflated.
Yes, I couldn't agree more. Even a neutral response to things is viewed as disrespectful compared to the masses, it seems.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: ArcticGalaxy on July 31, 2016, 01:01:23 am
I honestly agree 100% with you on this. I'm not going to say that I'm any better. I've done and said things around here that have a lot of people thinking wrong about me. And it really bothers me when I see other people get passed over and ignored when they have tried their level best to help this community out and they just end up feeling that they aren't appreciated at all. And people that do all of the "good child thing" just to gain a reputation...honestly they are just the worst.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: Wyldercat on July 31, 2016, 01:05:00 am
I honestly agree 100% with you on this. I'm not going to say that I'm any better. I've done and said things around here that have a lot of people thinking wrong about me. And it really bothers me when I see other people get passed over and ignored when they have tried their level best to help this community out and they just end up feeling that they aren't appreciated at all. And people that do all of the "good child thing" just to gain a reputation...honestly they are just the worst.
Yes, I agree. All the insincerity in even the most serious threads... I'm sure we could talk a long time about this one.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: ArcticGalaxy on July 31, 2016, 01:09:39 am
I don't see the point in it all honestly. Why can't everyone here just love one another and all be equally as helpful and loving without an undercurrent of lies and just wanting to be "the special one"
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: Wyldercat on July 31, 2016, 01:19:28 am
I don't see the point in it all honestly. Why can't everyone here just love one another and all be equally as helpful and loving without an undercurrent of lies and just wanting to be "the special one"
It's not even about being the "special one" anymore. Everyone just wants a title, or something of the like. It's not a bad thing to want recognition, but... it's just selfish to be everyone's "friend" when really you could care less for a person, especially for personal gain.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: ArcticGalaxy on July 31, 2016, 01:22:26 am
And really, why would you want recognition if along the way, you upset a bunch of people? It kinda defeats the purpose in my opinion.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: kiaz1st on July 31, 2016, 01:25:01 am
To be honest, I'm not really as involved in the community as I used to be, however I can sill see allot of buttering up happening. It's always difficult to look at a community you love and point out the flaws, but there are flaws. Everything has flaws, no matter where you go. I guess, considering the kinds of things you can see happening in different communities, we can at least be grateful that our flaw is being too nice.
And while I have never let myself be decieted by this kind of over-glorification (or have tried my best not to), I have seen the undertones of it here and there.
But, nevertheless, there are still allot of people in this community that are honest and kind. honestly kind.
This is an issue that can only be solved by the community itself. Mods and Admins will find it difficult to change this aspect, it is a hard flaw to fix, as it is a subtle and rather complex one. It's up to the people of the community to help change this.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: Reaper on July 31, 2016, 01:27:47 am
I agree with you I feel like some people(not everyone) only cares about being well known and famous when that really doesn't matter. I think people should just be honest towards each other, and they shouldn't care about winning stuff so they can be recognized, and trying to be popular. There is nothing wrong with people being friendly, and helpful, but they should also be honest to. That is probably why so many people feel left out because lots of people are trying to be a winner, and a goodie two shoes.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: Wyldercat on July 31, 2016, 01:34:02 am
And really, why would you want recognition if along the way, you upset a bunch of people? It kinda defeats the purpose in my opinion.
Well, usually not so many people are hurt, and of the minority who are, very few seem to be genuinely devastated, from my view at least. It's just rude. Also, I don't hold it against people who do this, I mean, most people aren't intentionally boosting their reputation for malicious reasons; and most of the people don't even seem to realize they're doing it, so it doesn't make them bad people... it's just rude and faux.
To be honest, I'm not really as involved in the community as I used to be, however I can sill see allot of buttering up happening. It's always difficult to look at a community you love and point out the flaws, but there are flaws. Everything has flaws, no matter where you go. I guess, considering the kinds of things you can see happening in different communities, we can at least be grateful that our flaw is being too nice.
And while I have never let myself be decieted by this kind of over-glorification (or have tried my best not to), I have seen the undertones of it here and there.
But, nevertheless, there are still allot of people in this community that are honest and kind. honestly kind.
This is an issue that can only be solved by the community itself. Mods and Admins will find it difficult to change this aspect, it is a hard flaw to fix, as it is a subtle and rather complex one. It's up to the people of the community to help change this.
Yes, I second this. Like I mentioned in the beginning, it's not such a huge problem that the majority of users are being seriously harmed by, but it's an unpleasant experience for those involved; and not ALL outgoing members fall into this facade. There are actually some really rad people here. Although, back on topic, I really want more people to witness this, and try to strive against it. I don't want to be a "Monopoly community" in which the opinions and "direction" of the forum is dominated and controlled by a minute top percent like some past communities I've been in.
I agree with you I feel like some people(not everyone) only cares about being well known and famous when that really doesn't matter. I think people should just be honest towards each other, and they shouldn't care about winning stuff so they can be recognized, and trying to be popular. There is nothing wrong with people being friendly, and helpful, but they should also be honest to. That is probably why so many people feel left out because lots of people are trying to be a winner, and a goodie two shoes.
Yes, I agree. It puzzles me why everyone who isn't grovelling at everyone elses' feet are outcasted and completely overlooked by the faux friendlies.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: Scornhound on July 31, 2016, 02:53:33 am
I frankly agree with you on this 100%.
This is also kind of why I do not post on a lot of threads. I would like to help others and such, but however I can see the insincerity and falseness of some members who have already posted, seeing they mainly do it for wanting to get popular. So most of the time I just skim through most threads and don't even bother to post because I know my opinion will be different and I do not want to be called out upon for it. I see most tend to say the same thing most of the time to every thread. And that's okay but it would also be nice to see some different opinions too. Not just everyone jumping on the band wagon if you get what I mean.
I noticed this pretty quick when I went to the forum more. Hopefully I don't offend anyone, didn't aim at anyone in particular. I just kind of think there should be more opinions; people shouldn't be afraid to speak their minds. I just think that some are scared to even speak their opinions so they just go along with what is going on.
Anyway, glad you posted this. Was waiting for a topic like this.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: greenart6 on July 31, 2016, 03:18:46 am
I agree fully.
I can't say that I'm not guilty of doing this before and might sound like a massive hypocrite, but I've kinda noticed myself fall into this pattern and have tried to correct it. I mostly stick to discussion threads now, giving my actual opinion, otherwise I just feel like some machine copy and pasting the same thing over and over... and sadly most people doing this haven't realized it yet. I've noticed some members around that mass-spam the same things on every thread without a thought, yet receive more praise than someone with well-thought out responses. And this is kinda the reason why I took a break from the forum as well. It's stressful and aggravating seeing these certain users getting so much praise and love for contributing absolutely nothing. I'm not saying that I want that praise instead or anything, but I do see some other people who are 10x more deserving of that recognition.
I've seen so many lovely users on here who are both friendly, care for the game, and actually know things about the game that are overlooked far too often, usually it seems it's because they aren't as 'outgoing' or... well, I guess I'll put it as "aren't as childish". It's just sad that the only way, or at least the easiest and laziest way imo, to gain popularity in this community is to just basically spam like this and constantly have on a fake mask.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: Enoki on July 31, 2016, 04:28:10 am
To be honest, I've thought the exact same thing f'er some time.
Of course, I can't say I'm completely clean of all these errs, but I've been trying m'best to correct m'self. I've seen quite a bit of members who were so good and wonderful folks but overshadowed by the many more popular members who seemed to be more plentiful in their posts.
I also can't agree more in the help board section of y'er first post. 'Tis why I've started to post less in the tech boards. It seems to be a waste of time f'er me to post a lengthy post with much detail when someone comes along with a brief post of something from another thread that gets the owner of the thread off track from where they really should be. It gets rather irritating to take five to ten minutes plotting out a post and then see an entire conversation develop inside the thread, making the original post I created obsolete.
I've noticed these "glorified" users popping up here and there, and it does disappoint me to see them loved by all and then 'ave users that are just as wonderful ignored. Another thing that really irks me is members hit the celebrity status within weeks of joining - claiming to be all loyal - and then a few months later fall off the face of the forum and game. But of course, those under appreciated members still sit quietly on the sidelines afraid to join in the community because they're afraid of being ignored.
I'd really like us to step up in the community and reach out to all those wonderful members who deserve some love. I think we could do some good f'er this community and change it f'er the better. I've always been slightly scared of ruining m'friendly reputation by bringing this subject up. To be honest, I've wanted to post this f'er a while, but sadly I was afraid people would think I was posting it due to jealousy. I know that to be stupid and rather immature. I'm certainly glad someone was brave and mature 'nuff to do so- so thank ye f'er that.
EDIT: Oh gosh, I'm so sorry f'er the long post. I'm on my phone and it didn't look so big when I was writing it. I didn't mean to blab. ;n;
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: Kuri on July 31, 2016, 07:55:57 am
Just because i'm a computer generated animal doesn't mean i'm fake. Just trying to give back to a community i get so much from. And if i give bad advice, well, i give advice on other forums too but nobody likes it because it's not the generic "Throw money/tech' " response the 'cool' people copypaste.
So yeah basically i'm a terrible forum poster and i hope you can forgive me but if you don't that's ok too.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: Preach on July 31, 2016, 09:50:59 am
To be honest I guess this thread kinda relates to me. I mean, don't get me wrong - I am nice but I also came have a bad day and just end up taking my feelings to the Internet and writing crazy posts. That right there might be the final judgement of who I am. But anyway if I simply don't like someone I can show through my post.
Anyway I agree with you on what you're trying to say. Then again nothing wrong being friendly. But I think too much of the friendly people end up to be sneaky and boom. I also like to stay away from people that only thinks of fame and popularity. So yeah.
Edit: [add on] I'm a human being with many feelings. I like to be real with people and I want to have hear the truth. Nowadays this generation only holds fake people and you can't trust no one. It's sad. When I compliment people on their talents I praise them well <3 and I mean it.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: Wyldercat on July 31, 2016, 07:36:49 pm
This is also kind of why I do not post on a lot of threads. I would like to help others and such, but however I can see the insincerity and falseness of some members who have already posted, seeing they mainly do it for wanting to get popular. So most of the time I just skim through most threads and don't even bother to post because I know my opinion will be different and I do not want to be called out upon for it. I see most tend to say the same thing most of the time to every thread. And that's okay but it would also be nice to see some different opinions too. Not just everyone jumping on the band wagon if you get what I mean.
I noticed this pretty quick when I went to the forum more. Hopefully I don't offend anyone, didn't aim at anyone in particular. I just kind of think there should be more opinions; people shouldn't be afraid to speak their minds. I just think that some are scared to even speak their opinions so they just go along with what is going on.
Anyway, glad you posted this. Was waiting for a topic like this.
Exactly. I've also been striving to stay away from spamming in threads.
I can't say that I'm not guilty of doing this before and might sound like a massive hypocrite, but I've kinda noticed myself fall into this pattern and have tried to correct it. I mostly stick to discussion threads now, giving my actual opinion, otherwise I just feel like some machine copy and pasting the same thing over and over... and sadly most people doing this haven't realized it yet. I've noticed some members around that mass-spam the same things on every thread without a thought, yet receive more praise than someone with well-thought out responses. And this is kinda the reason why I took a break from the forum as well. It's stressful and aggravating seeing these certain users getting so much praise and love for contributing absolutely nothing. I'm not saying that I want that praise instead or anything, but I do see some other people who are 10x more deserving of that recognition.
I've seen so many lovely users on here who are both friendly, care for the game, and actually know things about the game that are overlooked far too often, usually it seems it's because they aren't as 'outgoing' or... well, I guess I'll put it as "aren't as childish". It's just sad that the only way, or at least the easiest and laziest way imo, to gain popularity in this community is to just basically spam like this and constantly have on a fake mask.
I didn't mention the childish idea in my original post, but I very much agree with it. Mature can often be regarded as rude or unfriendly in this forum, and people who comment neutrally or honestly are often disregarded, not replied to, or just ignored; just because it's not what the masses wants to hear.
To be honest, I've thought the exact same thing f'er some time.
Of course, I can't say I'm completely clean of all these errs, but I've been trying m'best to correct m'self. I've seen quite a bit of members who were so good and wonderful folks but overshadowed by the many more popular members who seemed to be more plentiful in their posts.
I also can't agree more in the help board section of y'er first post. 'Tis why I've started to post less in the tech boards. It seems to be a waste of time f'er me to post a lengthy post with much detail when someone comes along with a brief post of something from another thread that gets the owner of the thread off track from where they really should be. It gets rather irritating to take five to ten minutes plotting out a post and then see an entire conversation develop inside the thread, making the original post I created obsolete.
I've noticed these "glorified" users popping up here and there, and it does disappoint me to see them loved by all and then 'ave users that are just as wonderful ignored. Another thing that really irks me is members hit the celebrity status within weeks of joining - claiming to be all loyal - and then a few months later fall off the face of the forum and game. But of course, those under appreciated members still sit quietly on the sidelines afraid to join in the community because they're afraid of being ignored.
I'd really like us to step up in the community and reach out to all those wonderful members who deserve some love. I think we could do some good f'er this community and change it f'er the better. I've always been slightly scared of ruining m'friendly reputation by bringing this subject up. To be honest, I've wanted to post this f'er a while, but sadly I was afraid people would think I was posting it due to jealousy. I know that to be stupid and rather immature. I'm certainly glad someone was brave and mature 'nuff to do so- so thank ye f'er that.
EDIT: Oh gosh, I'm so sorry f'er the long post. I'm on my phone and it didn't look so big when I was writing it. I didn't mean to blab. ;n;
Yes, I agree with this fully. Often community events are one-sided, and other perfectly eligible or kind users are completely overlooked, since they don't kiss up to everyone or aren't so called popular.
Just because i'm a computer generated animal doesn't mean i'm fake. Just trying to give back to a community i get so much from. And if i give bad advice, well, i give advice on other forums too but nobody likes it because it's not the generic "Throw money/tech' " response the 'cool' people copypaste.
So yeah basically i'm a terrible forum poster and i hope you can forgive me but if you don't that's ok too.
Alright, please don't get the wrong idea here. As I stared before, this isn't a targeted post, and it's not a personal issue. This thread was meant to bring up the issue of spamming to boost one's reputation or everyone just being so unnaturally nice that no one's honest or can take a neutral stand on things anymore. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with giving back to the community, in fact it's without a doubt an entirely good thing. It's just that the way some users try to falsely be everyone's friend, or act super nicey nice to everyone, and receive so much glorification; yet they contribute nothing. And as for the help thread, not all helpers are bad. Not at all! Almost all issues are eventually resolved, which is great; but the main focus on that part of the rant was meant for the people who just copy and pasted the same suggestions even when they are irrelevant or have already been mentioned before. Some people don't even read the topic, and just spit out uninstall and reinstall or the same change browser suggestion to every single help thread. By NO means are you a bad forum poster.
To be honest I guess this thread kinda relates to me. I mean, don't get me wrong - I am nice but I also came have a bad day and just end up taking my feelings to the Internet and writing crazy posts. That right there might be the final judgement of who I am. But anyway if I simply don't like someone I can show through my post.
Anyway I agree with you on what you're trying to say. Then again nothing wrong being friendly. But I think too much of the friendly people end up to be sneaky and boom. I also like to stay away from people that only thinks of fame and popularity. So yeah.
Edit: [add on] I'm a human being with many feelings. I like to be real with people and I want to have hear the truth. Nowadays this generation only holds fake people and you can't trust no one. It's sad. When I compliment people on their talents I praise them well <3 and I mean it.
I feel and agree with you 100%. I'm often tempted to vent, or speak my honest opinion, but I can't, because anyone who's not super "OMG ILY" friendly to everyone and dare speak their mind is regarded as faking it for attention, or rude. Then again, that's how the world works now, I suppose.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: ArcticGalaxy on July 31, 2016, 07:44:34 pm
Just a question, but you know how you say that you are rather tired of people seeming to copy and paste the same thing over and over in the help threads? Well, what if someone is having the exact same issue as someone you helped in the past and they just simply pasted their past reply to help the current person out? Is that bad?
Really sorry if I sound stupid here...
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: Wyldercat on July 31, 2016, 07:50:46 pm
Just a question, but you know how you say that you are rather tired of people seeming to copy and paste the same thing over and over in the help threads? Well, what if someone is having the exact same issue as someone you helped in the past and they just simply pasted their past reply to help the current person out? Is that bad?
Really sorry if I sound stupid here...
Well, if it proved helpful, then it's great to spread the suggestion, but if it's an issue not related to a problem at all, or proved unsuccessful then it can be rather annoying for the one being helped. Especially if there is a new, more logical solution also offered that gets overlooked. I mean, that's just my take on the matter, and it's not truly a bad thing in the help thread most of the time, but so many users are being told to uninstall and reinstall despite easier options and it just gets on *my* (note that this is just from my perspective) nerves sometimes.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: greenart6 on July 31, 2016, 08:19:43 pm
Just a question, but you know how you say that you are rather tired of people seeming to copy and paste the same thing over and over in the help threads? Well, what if someone is having the exact same issue as someone you helped in the past and they just simply pasted their past reply to help the current person out? Is that bad?
Really sorry if I sound stupid here...
I think as long as the solution works for the problem and is the easiest solution, then it's completely fine!
What Twisted is referring to I believe is more towards people who just say the exact same solution for every thread, even if it doesn't work or the OP has specifically stated it hasn't. Or people who tend to give incorrect answers when they know nothing about the topic at hand---a wrong answer is completely fine every once in awhile, but if someone really doesn't know a lot about a topic in the slightest I feel like it'd be best to leave it to the members who do.
I don't go in the help boards much nowadays so I'm honestly not sure if it still happens, but it has definitely happened in the past. But basically, yeah, if you have the right answer and you know it can help and there's nothing much easier to do, then it's fine to say the same answer!
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: Wyldercat on July 31, 2016, 08:28:45 pm
I think as long as the solution works for the problem and is the easiest solution, then it's completely fine!
What Twisted is referring to I believe is more towards people who just say the exact same solution for every thread, even if it doesn't work or the OP has specifically stated it hasn't. Or people who tend to give incorrect answers when they know nothing about the topic at hand---a wrong answer is completely fine every once in awhile, but if someone really doesn't know a lot about a topic in the slightest I feel like it'd be best to leave it to the members who do.
I don't go in the help boards much nowadays so I'm honestly not sure if it still happens, but it has definitely happened in the past. But basically, yeah, if you have the right answer and you know it can help and there's nothing much easier to do, then it's fine to say the same answer!
Yes, this, I second. I think ye worded it a bit better than I did actually.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: I Ship It! on July 31, 2016, 08:37:59 pm
Honestly- I think you speak a degree of truth Twist. I've seen people in the community put on a mask only to get what they want. I'll admit I've even done it myself long before I figured out it was awful. I think sometimes when we earn attenion, the best of us becomes the worst of us. :-\
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: DarkLustyHumor on July 31, 2016, 09:08:27 pm
I don't see the point in it all honestly. Why can't everyone here just love one another and all be equally as helpful and loving without an undercurrent of lies and just wanting to be "the special one"
This is exactly how I feel, people should be good to the community just to be good to the community with no other intentions. After all, helping others is a true reward in itself.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: Enoki on July 31, 2016, 09:12:25 pm
I don't see the point in it all honestly. Why can't everyone here just love one another and all be equally as helpful and loving without an undercurrent of lies and just wanting to be "the special one"
This is exactly how I feel, people should be good to the community just to be good to the community with no other intentions. After all, helping others is a true reward in itself.
I second this very much so.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: Ruby1234 on August 01, 2016, 03:35:55 am
Was wondering if anyone was going to say anything.
Funnily enough, a lot of people posting here are rather late to the game, or forum, rather.
The whole pretending to care, being praised, getting all "popular" via being everyone's "friend," has been around since anyone can remember. I think a big reason behind it is that, at least at first, everyone thought they wanted to be a staff member. They wanted power, control, recognition, just, everything that seems desirable about that position, without thinking about what else it entails. Everyone wanted the glory. And it had been said multiple times that staff are chosen based on who's active, helpful, friendly, the like.
So, naturally, you see everyone rushing to the Help sections, trying to do their best to post on every thread. Every single one. And you start to see it real bad when someone has a problem, and then a solution is offered. What's a user who's trying to impress going to do when their solution has already been offered??? Just repeat it!
It's something you see constantly, and as far back as 2011 (when those threads actually existed still). And of course the original poster never wants to be rude (usually), so both parties get credit. Even if the second person didn't even know the solution the first person provided, they can pretend.
There's just so many unnecessary and repetitive posts, and not even limited to the Help section, just so everyone can be heard and be out there and be cool. Which... to a degree is fine, and is expected. It's a social place.
Part of me does believe that it does, at least partially, stem from a lot of the userbase being young, so there's not much sense of "maybe not everything is about me, and I shouldn't be rude and try to take credit for something I didn't actually know anything about."
Because if we're all honest, like, really honest?: How many of us have actually done the research, the work, the digging, to find the roots of common problems, and then their solutions? Answer? Not much. Once the solution is common, everyone just repeats it, and thus the "credit" is absorbed by whoever conveys it the most now. It doesn't even matter that they didn't technically solve the problem, as long as it looks like they did.
It's extremely frustrating to go to all sorts of lengths to help someone, just to have your post reworded by someone else, who you know had no part in actually figuring any of it out.
It's almost like a passive-aggressive slap to the face, yet somehow from a distance.
I think everyone just needs a new perspective. It's a feline/canine glorified 3D chat room. Honestly, no more or less. Whether or not you help people should be based upon if it's worth it to you. Is it bettering you as a person, do you enjoy it, etc etc. Not: will this make me popular, will I be selected for something special, etc etc.
But, alas, everyone is out for themselves. That's how I've come to understand it over the past 5 years of FeralHeart. Users are quite literally that. Oh, did you spend all that time doing that? Well, it takes me 5 minutes to pretend I did it. Oh, you're skilled at something? Can we be "friends" so I can get it for free? Or so you can teach me?
This community has always been want, take, have. And again, that's just a rather young mentality that is probably just the result of a young userbase.
But that doesn't mean it cannot change. "Be the change you wish to see in the world," and all that. Don't be mean, don't be dumb, etc etc. I'll stop re-ranting your rant.
Stay kind, kids.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: I Ship It! on August 01, 2016, 05:09:30 am
Was wondering if anyone was going to say anything.
Funnily enough, a lot of people posting here are rather late to the game, or forum, rather.
The whole pretending to care, being praised, getting all "popular" via being everyone's "friend," has been around since anyone can remember. I think a big reason behind it is that, at least at first, everyone thought they wanted to be a staff member. They wanted power, control, recognition, just, everything that seems desirable about that position, without thinking about what else it entails. Everyone wanted the glory. And it had been said multiple times that staff are chosen based on who's active, helpful, friendly, the like.
So, naturally, you see everyone rushing to the Help sections, trying to do their best to post on every thread. Every single one. And you start to see it real bad when someone has a problem, and then a solution is offered. What's a user who's trying to impress going to do when their solution has already been offered??? Just repeat it!
It's something you see constantly, and as far back as 2011 (when those threads actually existed still). And of course the original poster never wants to be rude (usually), so both parties get credit. Even if the second person didn't even know the solution the first person provided, they can pretend.
There's just so many unnecessary and repetitive posts, and not even limited to the Help section, just so everyone can be heard and be out there and be cool. Which... to a degree is fine, and is expected. It's a social place.
Part of me does believe that it does, at least partially, stem from a lot of the userbase being young, so there's not much sense of "maybe not everything is about me, and I shouldn't be rude and try to take credit for something I didn't actually know anything about."
Because if we're all honest, like, really honest?: How many of us have actually done the research, the work, the digging, to find the roots of common problems, and then their solutions? Answer? Not much. Once the solution is common, everyone just repeats it, and thus the "credit" is absorbed by whoever conveys it the most now. It doesn't even matter that they didn't technically solve the problem, as long as it looks like they did.
It's extremely frustrating to go to all sorts of lengths to help someone, just to have your post reworded by someone else, who you know had no part in actually figuring any of it out.
It's almost like a passive-aggressive slap to the face, yet somehow from a distance.
I think everyone just needs a new perspective. It's a feline/canine glorified 3D chat room. Honestly, no more or less. Whether or not you help people should be based upon if it's worth it to you. Is it bettering you as a person, do you enjoy it, etc etc. Not: will this make me popular, will I be selected for something special, etc etc.
But, alas, everyone is out for themselves. That's how I've come to understand it over the past 5 years of FeralHeart. Users are quite literally that. Oh, did you spend all that time doing that? Well, it takes me 5 minutes to pretend I did it. Oh, you're skilled at something? Can we be "friends" so I can get it for free? Or so you can teach me?
This community has always been want, take, have. And again, that's just a rather young mentality that is probably just the result of a young userbase.
But that doesn't mean it cannot change. "Be the change you wish to see in the world," and all that. Don't be mean, don't be dumb, etc etc. I'll stop re-ranting your rant.
Stay kind, kids.
Touche~ I agree with everything you said there Ruby.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: TheOneAndOnlyy on August 01, 2016, 05:38:53 am
To be completely honest, I agree with a lot of your points. It's not just FH or the internet that is like this however, it really is just the majority of the world. I for one am a genuinely nice person, and don't take that as a sign of overconfidence or pride cause it's not xD But there has been many times where I sometimes feel overshadowed because of how cautious I am. I'm a shy person however I do try to be apart of the community as best I can. When I say nice things to people I mean them. When I try to help someone out I truly want to help them if I can. From my experience there is not very many people out there that show off to the world the person they actually are, There was one time a while back when I was recruiting for a roleplay someone who was sending me a roleplay sample said they thought I was flirting with them. SERIOUSLY, just because I was complimenting them on their roleplaying skills and their character. I thought to myself "Has this person ever come across a genuinely nice person before, or do they think I'm just saying these things to say them?" Of course when I get to know someone to the point I consider them a friend I open up a whole lot, but that does not stop my good personality. Idk, I guess I was just raised that way. But then there are those people who are just nice so they look good, and to people like me that's a huge slap to the face because we then become lost in the crowd. FH however hasn't been this way for me as much as the real world has, and that can become a rant on it's own xD but such fake kindness is always going to be there in the world, it always has.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: Rostova on August 01, 2016, 09:35:09 am
And it really bothers me when I see other people get passed over and ignored when they have tried their level best to help this community out and they just end up feeling that they aren't appreciated at all.
I have always felt like i have gotten overshadowed for trying my best in this community. I feel like im not appreciated here, so i know first hand how others feel. Its really not fair to all those kind people out there. When they try their best every time they post, and their kind not just because of a "reputation", that should be appreciated. But reputations rule sometimes.
And about the helping thing. Some people have been through it before and post what THEY know because they think it can help, and i dont consider that spitting out answers. But of course, there are the people that spit out random answers that have nothing to do with the topic, and i understand that. They should put some more thought into their solution before they post sometimes.
Was wondering if anyone was going to say anything.
Funnily enough, a lot of people posting here are rather late to the game, or forum, rather.
The whole pretending to care, being praised, getting all "popular" via being everyone's "friend," has been around since anyone can remember. I think a big reason behind it is that, at least at first, everyone thought they wanted to be a staff member. They wanted power, control, recognition, just, everything that seems desirable about that position, without thinking about what else it entails. Everyone wanted the glory. And it had been said multiple times that staff are chosen based on who's active, helpful, friendly, the like.
So, naturally, you see everyone rushing to the Help sections, trying to do their best to post on every thread. Every single one. And you start to see it real bad when someone has a problem, and then a solution is offered. What's a user who's trying to impress going to do when their solution has already been offered??? Just repeat it!
It's something you see constantly, and as far back as 2011 (when those threads actually existed still). And of course the original poster never wants to be rude (usually), so both parties get credit. Even if the second person didn't even know the solution the first person provided, they can pretend.
There's just so many unnecessary and repetitive posts, and not even limited to the Help section, just so everyone can be heard and be out there and be cool. Which... to a degree is fine, and is expected. It's a social place.
Part of me does believe that it does, at least partially, stem from a lot of the userbase being young, so there's not much sense of "maybe not everything is about me, and I shouldn't be rude and try to take credit for something I didn't actually know anything about."
Because if we're all honest, like, really honest?: How many of us have actually done the research, the work, the digging, to find the roots of common problems, and then their solutions? Answer? Not much. Once the solution is common, everyone just repeats it, and thus the "credit" is absorbed by whoever conveys it the most now. It doesn't even matter that they didn't technically solve the problem, as long as it looks like they did.
It's extremely frustrating to go to all sorts of lengths to help someone, just to have your post reworded by someone else, who you know had no part in actually figuring any of it out.
It's almost like a passive-aggressive slap to the face, yet somehow from a distance.
I think everyone just needs a new perspective. It's a feline/canine glorified 3D chat room. Honestly, no more or less. Whether or not you help people should be based upon if it's worth it to you. Is it bettering you as a person, do you enjoy it, etc etc. Not: will this make me popular, will I be selected for something special, etc etc.
But, alas, everyone is out for themselves. That's how I've come to understand it over the past 5 years of FeralHeart. Users are quite literally that. Oh, did you spend all that time doing that? Well, it takes me 5 minutes to pretend I did it. Oh, you're skilled at something? Can we be "friends" so I can get it for free? Or so you can teach me?
This community has always been want, take, have. And again, that's just a rather young mentality that is probably just the result of a young userbase.
But that doesn't mean it cannot change. "Be the change you wish to see in the world," and all that. Don't be mean, don't be dumb, etc etc. I'll stop re-ranting your rant.
Stay kind, kids.
I totally agree^
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: Wyldercat on August 01, 2016, 05:54:51 pm
Was wondering if anyone was going to say anything.
Funnily enough, a lot of people posting here are rather late to the game, or forum, rather.
The whole pretending to care, being praised, getting all "popular" via being everyone's "friend," has been around since anyone can remember. I think a big reason behind it is that, at least at first, everyone thought they wanted to be a staff member. They wanted power, control, recognition, just, everything that seems desirable about that position, without thinking about what else it entails. Everyone wanted the glory. And it had been said multiple times that staff are chosen based on who's active, helpful, friendly, the like.
So, naturally, you see everyone rushing to the Help sections, trying to do their best to post on every thread. Every single one. And you start to see it real bad when someone has a problem, and then a solution is offered. What's a user who's trying to impress going to do when their solution has already been offered??? Just repeat it!
It's something you see constantly, and as far back as 2011 (when those threads actually existed still). And of course the original poster never wants to be rude (usually), so both parties get credit. Even if the second person didn't even know the solution the first person provided, they can pretend.
There's just so many unnecessary and repetitive posts, and not even limited to the Help section, just so everyone can be heard and be out there and be cool. Which... to a degree is fine, and is expected. It's a social place.
Part of me does believe that it does, at least partially, stem from a lot of the userbase being young, so there's not much sense of "maybe not everything is about me, and I shouldn't be rude and try to take credit for something I didn't actually know anything about."
Because if we're all honest, like, really honest?: How many of us have actually done the research, the work, the digging, to find the roots of common problems, and then their solutions? Answer? Not much. Once the solution is common, everyone just repeats it, and thus the "credit" is absorbed by whoever conveys it the most now. It doesn't even matter that they didn't technically solve the problem, as long as it looks like they did.
It's extremely frustrating to go to all sorts of lengths to help someone, just to have your post reworded by someone else, who you know had no part in actually figuring any of it out.
It's almost like a passive-aggressive slap to the face, yet somehow from a distance.
I think everyone just needs a new perspective. It's a feline/canine glorified 3D chat room. Honestly, no more or less. Whether or not you help people should be based upon if it's worth it to you. Is it bettering you as a person, do you enjoy it, etc etc. Not: will this make me popular, will I be selected for something special, etc etc.
But, alas, everyone is out for themselves. That's how I've come to understand it over the past 5 years of FeralHeart. Users are quite literally that. Oh, did you spend all that time doing that? Well, it takes me 5 minutes to pretend I did it. Oh, you're skilled at something? Can we be "friends" so I can get it for free? Or so you can teach me?
This community has always been want, take, have. And again, that's just a rather young mentality that is probably just the result of a young userbase.
But that doesn't mean it cannot change. "Be the change you wish to see in the world," and all that. Don't be mean, don't be dumb, etc etc. I'll stop re-ranting your rant.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: forks on August 01, 2016, 07:36:36 pm
I absolutely agree, 100%.
Power is tempting...always has been, always will be. I agree with Ruby - people want to become a moderator, they want the glory...but that's not what it's about, is it? Shouldn't we just try to make a good, friendly community where everyone can be happy? Where everyone can have a safe place?
And then again, it's not as easy as it looks to be a moderator. They don't get paid and yet they spend hours every day doing all they can to help FH. Some people just want it for the fame.
But there are also the people who are scared. Scared because people in the real world don't like them, so they try to make themselves someone different so that people they don't actually know will. Which is understandable, because the world is...people are mean. People are so, so mean.
I think everyone needs to take a step back, take a deep breath, and calm down. Help others out to be of assistance or to do something nice, not because you want to be well known. Be kind in general. Make the community a better place for the right reasons. This is just my opinion on the matter, and by all means I'm not saying that I'm not guilty of any of it.
I apologize if any of this was worded wrong or the like, I have a hard time expressing myself sometimes.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: DraconiaHeart on August 02, 2016, 12:12:46 am
Honestly...I understand exactly what you mean. I know I may seem very petty, and horrid for saying this, but I have been in those shoes before. I have wished to help this community to genuinely help them, but have been trampled all over for those who wish to keep their reputation higher than another persons. It bothers me greatly, and honestly angers me to no end. I know for many years I had been a stepping stool for many people I once thought were my friends. I have stuck my neck out for them many of times on my much older accounts. So much has happened in my past to where rumors even accumulated, and began to rip at me because of so many people trying to look good, and blame some of their actions on the nearest person they see as a perfect scapegoat.
I have been in those shoes way too many times, and honestly I had cried to many times just for feeling like I was betrayed by friends. So honestly reading this made me happy to know someone else realized like I did how fake some users can be. I know many may hate me for saying this right now, and many might wish me gone or to silence my maw. Though honestly...this is something that is going on in the community that seems to be the number one things everyone wishes to cover up. I know a good amount of users in my head right now who are the most insincere people since they were ones who had stepped all over me or good friends of mine. So I thank you for posting this. You basically blatantly said what I have felt, and watched in the community. We have the genuine good, and the ones with kitsune masks running about in the community. People who wish to be something bigger so they hide their true colors playing tricks on us, and blinding us to who they really are. So I thank you for posting up what has been weighing on my own heart for so very long.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: Bawfle on August 03, 2016, 03:38:01 am
I feel like everyone's just kissing up to everyone and acting super unnaturally nice, but with no sincerity whatsoever; and the bulk of the community just seems fake to me. Now, I know what all of you reading are thinking. People are being nice? What's wrong with that? Well, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being polite, or telling white lies, or being friendly. It's just that, the community is based on who can butter up the nicest, and not on other actual good people who may just be too shy or blunt to make a super huge deal and compliment everyone on every little thing. I've seen users with an absolute heart of GOLD been completely overshadowed, regarded as "unfriendly" or "distant," and sometimes even some... rude things in private just because they aren't stereotypically outgoing. This really bothers me to no end.
And yes, I am aware that much of this community is young and the like, but still, if everyone is constantly slammed with compliments and praise, and being blown up for something, then no one's truly special; and it's extremely unfair to people who do something just as well, maybe even better, than those glorified members, but receive little to moderate attention for their dedication. Many of you probably think "well jeez, Twisted, you're just jealous because so and so didn't get as much attention as so and so." I will admit, I am slightly biased, as many friends of mine were overshadowed in such a way, but this isn't the issue, but a factor in the pic picture.
Honey I agree on certain aspects of this rant as well. It does seem harsh, yes, though it happens everywhere in fact and not just this community alone. Is it ever going to stop? No, sadly it isn't. Is there a way to stop it? Ehhh not really. I completely understand what it is like to be used for what you're talented for, and who you are or what you may do which gtabs people's attention. There are it's goods, but there are also it's bads, such as realising you've met someone who only wanted to be greedy and selfish.
Honestly dear, learning that you meet people like this in communities is part of life. It is how generations and how the world brought people up. It's more leaning towards the nurture debate. It is, however, lovely to feel appreciated for what you're being noticed for and only a fool will let a person into their circle and allow them to take advantage of that. All we can do is be there for anyone who has been taken advantage of in terms of so called butt kissing and suck-ups. Those who will do anything to get what they want. Trust me, I know a few people. In fact, everyone does.
Sometimes people just do this to fit in with the crowd, and so it grows into a trend in some ways. Take real life for example, females are addicted to Mac make-up purely because it's expencive and what you wear is how you fit into the world. It's just how the insecure work in these kind of nerdy gaming communities. There are so many golden people out there who are currently shy to welcome themselves in, sure, but take it from my view and what I have experienced. They eventually bloom.
Now, this big picture, as I mentioned before in the blunt point, is that people don't seem genuine. I am aware this is the internet, and it is difficult to properly decipher tone or feeling through text alone, but still; it can give off some mixed feelings if someone is everyone's sweetheart in public, but rude and or selfish when actually spoken to in a one on one. I personally have been talked down to or "shut up" and "yessed" to death by people I once considered kind. The thing is, as difficult as it is to get truly caught up and interested in a strictly internet topic, no one seems to care about actual issues users may have and are mentioning, or something they are proud of, but try to act like they're suddenly best friends or glorify the member for the sake of a good reputation. Now this is scarcely viewed as a bad thing at first. It's good to keep up a generally positive reputation, and that is achieved through being kind and considerate, especially to those who need it. It's the right thing to do, right? Well, sometimes a good action for the wrong action could also classify as a bad action, even if only subliminally. Now, I will admit, I am guilty of this on occasions, but as someone who's been through many of the same issues that people may have, and I'd feel better knowing that I've helped someone. However, many of the people who offer to be a shoulder to cry on are empty offers to seem like they care, however, many I know have been blatantly rejected by those who offered advice or a "safe place" to talk. I know some things are too personal, but if someone truly needs to vent; why offer to comfort them if you're just going to brush them away like it's nothing in private? The answer is simple. Reputation. Everyone just pretends to care about everyone to the ends of the earth when they really couldn't give a rats backside about whether or not the person will benefit, and it's very selfish and it bothers me.
Sadly nowhere is completely safe. We are gonna have the odd bad behaved members here and there, but that is why we have wonderful members of the community to help fight away the darkest members, as well as some great members of staff. It is also expected to see people reply to threads with some of the most simplest of things, though some may just see it to get post counts higher-- but do remember that not all boards count posts for this exact reason. Some users and members of the community actually post simple things to make someone happy or feel noticed. Like how someone might not find a topic interesting but they'll post anyway because no one is replying to it. Therefore, making a thread poster very happy.
A lot of people aquire a reputation, but again, at the end of the day it is what shows us who the good eggs and bad eggs are. It's great that you got things off your chest in this rant, and I'm happy that you avoided trying to offend anyone or use that type of content in that matter. It is nice to have a breather but I hope what I said helps you understand a few things and opens your eyes. Not just your eyes, but other people's eyes too.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: Skat on August 03, 2016, 04:47:46 am
I had happened to see this and I agree 100% on this I just want to share a little bit of my opinion if that is allowed of course I kinda mini-vent too while leaning on your words on this too so do not mind me please, I am just following the post XD sorry if I jump out of the topic at times but the whole convo here is spicy XD
If you care to hear me out keep reading my wayward children
I agree that most of the people pretend to be all nice for reputation and stuff and I hate it when this happens but sometimes when someone snaps at you they may had a bad day? I mean, according to my standards, I have my momments when I am really angry because something had upset me in real life and I end up being very cold to some people at times without meaning to while I am trying to keep my cool because I do not want to burst my problems out. I am talking as an example of myself of course, idk what others are doing or how they react and if they do it daily I am just saying you may have missunderstood them because something had happened to them? Of course I am nobody to talk since I didn't know the scene, just saying.
But yeah whoever pretends to be a sweetheart just for fame then begins to be a jerk on whispers or on one-on-one chats well shame on them ;\
Now about the people that are covered behind the shadows or as you have said, I do agree with you that the people that are made out of Gold are hidden and ignored because many unworthy people jump out in the surface but, on their side, have you asked them if they wanted to be found?
I am not a Golden person but I can tell it took me alot of time to acctually show up on the site because I am, even as a werido, a pretty awkward and shy person and I do not like much attention so when someone is giving too much care at me, unless they are my girlfriend, a close friend or a family member I find it a little bit odd and uncomftable. Yet nice to everyone because I want to and I feel like it not because I want to catch their sympathy. And there are many people like that, I am pretty sure you had mentioned about this above, and they are just scared on insecure of comming in the opening.
Some people do not like fame and reputation because they know that it is gonna puff their brains up and forget who their real friends are. I have seen this happening in real life mostly but I am hypothesizing this is what happens here as well.
Maybe the people who are really and truly nice do not want to come out in the surface because they know the people who will approach them will come to them for fame?
Fame is not the answer. Just be yourself nothing else. Vitrual people are real people behind the screen too and they deserve to be gained something real even through a game. So do not really be bothered by not being in the surface apparently you were meant for something better, which means something real
I am a nobody but if you ask me I prefer having one real friend instead of million fake ones that will dumb you the next day because I am not famous.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: ShiaLabeouf on August 03, 2016, 08:09:28 am
instead of trying to offer a blatant "i agree with you 100% yada yada yada" regurgitation post, tying into that fame thing- anyone else ever noticed like for as long as the FH forums have existed, there's always the same three self righteous dirt bags who comment on literally every new post's existence just to add some stupidly mundane comment like "aww, sad :(" on a HELP THREAD?
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: ArcticGalaxy on August 03, 2016, 08:29:32 am
Honestly can't say I've ever really seen that in my time being here. But I'm sure it has happened.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: LordSuragaha on August 03, 2016, 08:38:49 am
instead of trying to offer a blatant "i agree with you 100% yada yada yada" regurgitation post, tying into that fame thing- anyone else ever noticed like for as long as the FH forums have existed, there's always the same three self righteous dirt bags who comment on literally every new post's existence just to add some stupidly mundane comment like "aww, sad :(" on a HELP THREAD?
Whether or not you decided to censor out the individuals you're referring to I still find it rather distasteful that you would refer to anyone in this community as "self righteous dirt bags"... It's not the kind of terminology I'd like to see thrown around in this community as it only makes the one saying such things look terribly rude and it paints this community out in a negative light if such harsh labeling was allowed to be acceptable regardless of the circumstance.
Let's try to keep the discussion mature and respectable regardless of your stance on the topic.
Needless to say there are and will always be people, both here on our boards and outside in other circumstances, that will do things for their own personal benefits rather than for the overall good and well being of the majority. None of this is some new trend. It's unfortunate if people are falsely recognized and encouraged when their intentions are anything but pure, however I saw it mentioned a few times that those who deserve praise never get it while those who don't do.
When you're off doing good deeds for the sake of doing good deeds you never stop once to consider the pay off for your actions, nor do you act as though you are deserving of such, you are simply happy to help whether you get "paid off, recognized etc" or not. If you're feeling some how unappreciated it was because you expected something in the beginning and that in itself is making the person no more different than those who do things for the sake of some kind of personal benefit. What should matter is that you are happy to help and find joy in helping others even if they reciprocate it or not.
I don't like the idea of people assuming others are posting "overly nice" posts or "helping" for the sake of attention or personal benefit either. There may be people reading this thread who will be discouraged from being genuinely nice etc because they're afraid people, like those who responded here, may mistake them as "fake" or "attention/ reputation" seeking.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: Ruby1234 on August 04, 2016, 02:36:41 am
Needless to say there are and will always be people, both here on our boards and outside in other circumstances, that will do things for their own personal benefits rather than for the overall good and well being of the majority. None of this is some new trend. It's unfortunate if people are falsely recognized and encouraged when their intentions are anything but pure, however I saw it mentioned a few times that those who deserve praise never get it while those who don't do.
When you're off doing good deeds for the sake of doing good deeds you never stop once to consider the pay off for your actions, nor do you act as though you are deserving of such, you are simply happy to help whether you get "paid off, recognized etc" or not. If you're feeling some how unappreciated it was because you expected something in the beginning and that in itself is making the person no more different than those who do things for the sake of some kind of personal benefit. What should matter is that you are happy to help and find joy in helping others even if they reciprocate it or not.
I don't like the idea of people assuming others are posting "overly nice" posts or "helping" for the sake of attention or personal benefit either. There may be people reading this thread who will be discouraged from being genuinely nice etc because they're afraid people, like those who responded here, may mistake them as "fake" or "attention/ reputation" seeking.
((This is going to be less about specifically this forum and people here, but still applies in general.))
I understand where you're coming from. I do believe that yes, those who help out of pure intention do not do it for any sort of praise or reward.
But there is a breaking point. You can only do so much for people before you realise how one-sided things can become. If you allow things to lean too far one way, suddenly everyone is expecting everything from you. It can be so damaging, trying to keep up with these newfound expectations.
Sometimes, it's just hard to be selfless when you're helping the selfish. It can only go on for so long. And I know it's something we've all experienced and felt. At some point you take a look at the situation and realise; I've given this, this, this, and this, when are you going to at least return the favour? Life is all about give and take, but I don't think for a second that it's wrong for people who've done nothing but give to want to take every now and then.
As for people who may be reading this thread, I don't want anyone to be discouraged, and I'm sure that's not what anyone was going for (I hope). Helping each other is of course, a good thing. That's not what anyone is trying to prevent. Anyone reading knows their intentions. They know if they have an ulterior motive. Those people should maybe take something from this thread.
A community isn't a ladder. People shouldn't be so worried with trying to climb to the top. Respect is earned, it's not a given right to people they might see as "at the top." A community is about the ties between people. We form bonds, and a lot of it comes from helping each other. That is in no way a bad thing, and I never want to make it out to be.
I just hope to see people settle down a bit, sometimes. You try climbing too fast, you might fall off.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: Kuri on August 05, 2016, 08:45:46 am
*shrug* Always a bright side. At least the social climbers on here are positive, on heaps of forums they are negative nancys who put everyone down 24/7 (it's like they're spam bots who don't sleep) and never say anything remotely useful and newbies leave in fear of them.
That's what i like about this place, no matter how misplaced posts get, 99.99% of them are well intended. :) <-- look a smily face on the end to explain how positive this is supposed to be :D
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: Enoki on August 06, 2016, 09:04:55 pm
Excuse you? This is a family friendly game and I'm sure no one here appreciates that foul language. Refrain from posting such things or I'm sure the staff will not be happy.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: ritat on August 24, 2016, 01:18:16 am
To be honest, I agree too. I wanted to post something like this 1 year ago, but I felt that it would ruin my image for some reason. I sometimes also do get the feeling that people are a bit fishy, that's why I try to distant myself but always try to give a hand. I always prefer to be the silent type who does good deeds. Before I even saw your post, I stared around the site for a few minutes and thought, "people have never been this nice around here, what's happened?", but I'm not sure if it's linked to this. The point is, that I have felt what you are feeling for my entire life, but I was too afraid to speak up because of the abuse that people have given me... physical....mental... it's heart breaking. I'm just glad you posted this, and too finally get people understanding the truth.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: Wyldercat on August 24, 2016, 06:27:33 pm
To be honest, I agree too. I wanted to post something like this 1 year ago, but I felt that it would ruin my image for some reason. I sometimes also do get the feeling that people are a bit fishy, that's why I try to distant myself but always try to give a hand. I always prefer to be the silent type who does good deeds. Before I even saw your post, I stared around the site for a few minutes and thought, "people have never been this nice around here, what's happened?", but I'm not sure if it's linked to this. The point is, that I have felt what you are feeling for my entire life, but I was too afraid to speak up because of the abuse that people have given me... physical....mental... it's heart breaking. I'm just glad you posted this, and too finally get people understanding the truth.
I feel ye, Rita. I too am worried about my reputation now for speakin' my mind. I'm so sorry that all that abuse happened to ye, though.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: Rizzla on August 24, 2016, 10:13:25 pm
Let me first just say that I love this thread. I've been waiting for a long time for someone to say something about this- I would have done so myself but I could never find a way to put it, so thank you for posting this, you've taken the words right out of my mouth.
Since I agree with the majority of what the others have said I'll make my post brief, and instead add on to a couple things. Someone earlier mentioned that a lot of the userbase is younger, yes? If you consider the lives of most younger people nowadays it's not really all that surprising. For example, back when I was super active here I was quite a bit younger, and that's when my behavior was like that. I did it because I didn't have a whole lot of friends around that time (both offline and online), and so I wound up on games like these. After a couple months of puttering around ingame I ended up on the forum. I spent some time observing people, and saw that there was a certain few who were very well-liked and had a lot of friends. Now, being the 'lonely' person I was, I thought, "Wow! This user has so many friends, and people talk about them a lot! What can I do to become like that?" Over time I learned that that kind of recognition was earned by posting on help-threads whether you know what you're talking about or not and spamming threads with an insincere compliment that you just posted on another thread. So, you see, some of this is taught to newbies... or so that's what it was like in my circumstance. Not all of them are necessarily fakes, perhaps just looking for friends- not doing so in a very good way, but they mean well. I don't know what to say about the rest of them, though. Some people are just nasty.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: Legendary~Grace on August 25, 2016, 02:39:17 am
I don't see the point in it all honestly. Why can't everyone here just love one another and all be equally as helpful and loving without an undercurrent of lies and just wanting to be "the special one"
This is exactly how I feel, people should be good to the community just to be good to the community with no other intentions. After all, helping others is a true reward in itself.
I second this very much so.
I can agree on this.
I'm probably really late, coming into this rant conversation right now and I try to avoid rants and complaints on the forum but I wanted to give my input on this topic since I happened to notice some of this going on. I'm also touching on a subject I believe wasn't talked about, if it was, my apologies, I tried to read through the conversation.
Honestly, I feel like everyone is just competitive and do wish to be the "special one" like many of you said. Now, I may be completely wrong and I'm no scientist but I believe human nature causes us to become competitive with one another, to see who can be the best out of everyone. That's only natural but I believe that the internet just adds to the fire. The internet brings everyone from everywhere together. Naturally I'd think to see competition, a sort of pecking order for everyone. I guess that's a way we all keep order.
People want to get as a high as they can in this "pecking order" and in this specific case I think that many would love to become FeralHeart staff and fake a good personality to look good. I also think the whole post-count, out of personal experience drives the whole "be the best" pecking order. I'm guilty of this and I'm sure some of you are too. When competition rises, it's only natural for conflict to occur. Things like jealousy, specifically of maybe someone's popularity or post count on the forum can make you want to be better. And I believe that people start thinking that quantity over quality is better. Whatever you believe, that's your choice. But, I think those of us who think quality is better get mad when people who think quantity is better starts "winning" in a sense. It goes both ways and I think that's what might be causing this.
This might just be my personality talking since I'm a pretty laid back person, but I don't think we need to take sides and fight over this. Yes, this might be just discussions but I'm personally getting the vibe that we're slightly angry at each other. There is no need to get upset at people who "fake" and ego for themselves, that's their decision and yeah I can agree it lessons the meaning of compliments if you keep complementing everything but I see your point Twisted and I see everyone else's point. For me personally, I try to stay out of people's business and think about their point of view. Someone wants to fake an ego and be the nicest person on earth, then fine, let them do it. They might be thinking differently then you. I also don't see the harm in having a lot of positivity going around even if it's not as strong in quality. I would rather take this then have mass chaos and negativity. But, in all truth, the world isn't perfect. Life is unfair and you just got to deal with it.
I'd also like to note that this rant wasn't a bad thing to do, it's good to get it out.
I wrote this fairly quickly, hopefully I made myself clear. And take note that this is all my opinion.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: WolfQueen on August 25, 2016, 02:49:51 am
i came back after a bout of no activity and i can honestly say i'm glad to see this post. this thread is pretty pretty old now and discussion might have ended, so i'm not going to get into much detail. pretty sure many things have been mentioned and i don't feel like looking like a bozo and mentioning them again. to sum it up, recognition and respect has to be rightfully earned. if you act mature, you will come off as a respectable person. if you don't, then you will come off as intimidating and people will probably hate you. acting "cookie-cutter" and fake doesn't cut it. it's bothersome and it actually keeps people (like me) from being around. every member should be considered equal and no-one should act like they have the power and respect over someone else, no matter who they are.
Although, back on topic, I really want more people to witness this, and try to strive against it. I don't want to be a "Monopoly community" in which the opinions and "direction" of the forum is dominated and controlled by a minute top percent like some past communities I've been in.
EXACTLY! I've seen this happen so many times in other places. it throws away any sense of self expression and you are treated like trash if you are any different than the "default" direction of the community, even without being blatantly disrespectful. yea, this does happens in the real world, but having this mentality present in a place that is a form of escapism and free expression is not right.
can i just say that i agree with you 200%? especially about the help threads. A+
edit: i'm starting to think that i came off a bit nasty with this post. this isn't a personal attack on anyone, more of a general opinion of the topic. no hard feelings.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: Senrova on August 26, 2016, 01:21:41 pm
Wow. This is all very true and I personally agree with this. I used to post here often sometime ago and then went in a long hiatus because I had other stuff to do. I can't remember what age I was when I first posted, must have been around 10 or so. Back then I was quite immature and a whiny little brat. I made mistakes on this forum I greatly regret. Back then I never really was trying to be 'perfect'. I was more or less trying to have fun. That's what this forum's for. Not for trying to be the popular one. I already suffer a reputation for being the quite goody-two shoes in my school. Some think I'm socially awkward (I'm not believe me). If people are the same here, who's gonna want to post here? Being falsely nice doesn't make you human, it's making the mistakes and learning from them. Basically, being who you are and better.
In short, people should be honest and respectful.
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: Morgra on August 26, 2016, 09:02:06 pm
Title: Re: An Honest Rant
Post by: hellensilverwolf on August 28, 2016, 09:21:01 pm
Oh. Thank you for saying this. Not sure if this has been discussed before but you did a right thing by posting this. It does seem super fake sometimes and yes it doesn't feel good.
But it's still hundred times better than what happens on other game forums. Been there, seen that... The disrespect towards each other is unearthly. Haters can be fake too, they can hate on people just for the sake of looking kewl and edgy, not realising how stupid they actually look. So yea, fake and nice is better than bad if I have to choose