Here it is, one more hour until 2019 for me. And it is time for me to finally get a lot off my mind and free myself, as well as other things.
Of course the first thing I want to do is praise this community yet again. I want to thank LonesomeRider, PocketButt, Ratel and wolffox for being the most wonderful friends to me. These four came into my life rather recently, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I remember when I first started talking to Jess about a year ago now....all over a conversation on a yodeling pickle I was supposed to give them last year for Christmas. Here it is a year later and I have yet to do it. Pocket, Rat, and Foxx are a little more recent, but they more or less wiggled under my cold hard shell and just...hit my soft spot and I love you both so much for it. I can't even begin to thank you all for what you have done for me. <3
It's been three years since my return to FeralHeart, and when I started getting more involved with the community. Back then I was just starting to go through some more severe personal issues, and this game and its community more or less helped me with that. This game was an escape from my life issues for awhile and it gave me a purpose in life. There was nothing I loved more than helping out and making people happy. I made friends and met someone to love, you know the story by now. I want to thank the whole community of FeralHeart for helping be a light in the tunnel for me and showing me happiness. For showing me that I wasn't useless.
Now on to the apology. Everyone knows I've done bad in the past. A few more than others. As well as finding a purpose here, I also let ambition get the best of me...and it ended up showing a side to everyone I didn't ever expect to show. Even for myself. I hated over the years how I made mistakes and continued torturing myself for them. But I would take my anger and frustration on people and I lost friends because of it. The last two years have almost been hell for me in that sense. But now....this is a new year. IN this final hour of 2018 (for me) I want to finally release all of my anger, all of my grudges, everything. I want to go into the new year with a clear heart and mind, and the determination to do better for this community.
I'm not expecting any of the people I have wronged to ever forgive me. Nor even speak to me. But as I said, I'm letting it all go and I will try my best to move on and finally be happy where I'm at in this game. I hope I can finally be a helper you all deserve. Cause every single person on this game deserves the world, no matter what has happened.
I love every single one of you, and you can expect me to stay and help around here on this game until I am called onto a new path. I hope everyone's new year is wonderful as well!
