Feral Heart
Off topic => Discussion Board => Topic started by: Liekos on January 27, 2011, 01:35:12 am
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okay so one time in science my teacher came in the room, put her books on the table, put her hands on her hips and let out a sigh. she looked at all of us in a pained way, smiled, then said "this is the part where i get fired for having sex with one of my students in class." the room fell silent. then she said, "so, who wants to be my volunteer?" a girl in the back jumped up and said "OMG ME, PICK ME MISS!" we ended up learning about plant sex, but the whole class never forgot that day :)
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Look at it this way: You probably remembered what you learned a lot better after that.
I'd have to say the weirdest thing was my Computer Science teacher talking about how some teachers spike their coffee with alcohol during the day.
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Yesterday my teacher gave us an assignment to code a program with C++ that gives random numbers from a certain number area that the user defines. It will also give as many numbers as the user wants. When I got the code done, my teacher came to look at it and was all "Oh, so it actually WORKS?! o_O"
...yeah... I thought it was strange that she gives us a program to code and even she doesn't know if it'll work or not. <.<
Also, when I was still in upper secondary, my chemistry teacher told us very funny things. One of them was the time when he had made some fireworks himself, and dried them in an oven that heats up with FIRE! xD His lessons were the best. XD
I suppose there might be other things as well, but I can't remember them right now. :'D
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My computer teacher, who was always a total dork, started talking about his... uhh... how you say... digestive distress.
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My Social Studies teacher always breaks out randomly during the day about stories from his family life.
"And then Teddy Roosevelt got the rights to build the Panama Canal... You know my daughter slapped me on the face yesterday. She's two and says she hates me."
...Often accompanied by asking all of us for the latest gossip. He's a male teacher, BTW.
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LOL, yes.
Once one guy from our class asked from our english teacher: "HAY, HOW ARE YOU MAN? (B" Our teacher: "I am not a man, im a teacher!" :''D
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Oh my god yes. I -being in primery- only have one teacher. She is dead funny sometimes as example:
A:We're all talking about X-factor in the morning, she comes on and dumps her books on the table. We ignored her and then suddenly: "CLASS! Tell me, should Cher be kicked off?"
B: We hear the teacher from the other class shouting her head off at some kid. Teacher looks all werid then says: "Humm, I think someone had a bad day. Maybe she should drink some coffee. Oh, or we could splash it in her face..."
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Funniest thing ever said by my teachers... hmm... probably a few things by my Irish teacher.
Case 1:
~And you know, green grass, unless of course you like Cornetto... See? I can totally confuse you!
Case 2:
~Lamha suas, lamha sios, lamha suas, lamha sios... Hah! I can tell you what to do... And you have to do it! *Followed by scary smile* BTW Lamha = hands and suas = up and sios = down
Case 3:
~Smoothie? What... what is a Smoothie??
Case 4:
~Nah, I'm kidding, I like everyone in this school. *He goes sour* Except for Mr. (Blank) and Mr. (Blank).
I really hate them.
*I called them (blank) for my own safety... O_o
Case 5:
~I like this game where I ask you a question in Irish, and if you get it wrong, I squirt you with this water pistol. *He brandishes a plastic water pistol filled with water* Don't worry, I won't... *He glares at a student* As long as you don't annoy me. *He starts to mutter the rest to himself, but we can all hear it* But then I might get sacked... but no one sacks me. Hah! *He smiles broadly at the class*
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When we do something wrong my teches starts singing "Ne nay ne nay ne nay..."
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We had to spell a word that starts with B, and then she said "B as in Bob" and we all cracked up........Not that big of a deal though.
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I had this crazy idea and class and i asked my form teacher, 'How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?' The class went silent as we saw him going red.Then he said 'As much as they bloody want,there wood chucks.Wood chucks chuck wood like the clappers' We went silent as we did not understand.Then he said, 'Bo****ks,i was just trying to have a bit of fun' then he walked out the room.We waited till he was down the stairs then we burst out in laughter.
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My woodshop teacher says the strangest things...one time I walked up to him and asked him where the tape was, he looked at me funny and said "It's on my desk, grandma." and I'm like "I'm not a grandma!" Then he was being awkward and said "Your as blind as my grandma! I'm kidding! My grandma's dead." Then he laughed...
I started washing my paintbrush with cold water and it was weird because he walked in and seemed to have a sixth sense where he knew what temperature water I was using and he asked "Why are you using cold water? Hot water works better." O_o;
Also in reading my teacher couldn't say things right and she said "Charlie in the chocolate box" instead of "Charlie and the chocolate factory." It was weird...She didn't even notice she said it.
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One day the fire alarm went of and my Math teacher walked into the hall to see if it was a real fire.Then all of the sudden he came running into the class room and yelled,"This sh!t is real!" He bolted for the door and I almost fell over laughing.
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One day the fire alarm went of and my Math teacher walked into the hall to see if it was a real fire.Then all of the sudden he came running into the class room and yelled,"This sh!t is real!" He bolted for the door and I almost fell over laughing.
Omg,when i read that i LOLed so hard!
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My high school English teacher my senior year, was telling us about how she ran out of shower gel. And so she had to use some Axe some guy left in her shower, which was followed by; "I don't remember which one left it though." We all got really quiet. She was 31 and not married, and notorious for flirting with students; so you can imagine how we took this information. However she just shrugged it off and went on with her William Blake poem.
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Would wearing something weird count? XD (I'll edit post XP)
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My math teacher, today, was acting weird. She's like, "{Instert WarriorCatFan1 Name Here} Come to the..." Then she stopped and randomly said, "Come to the... Speedo!" I was like, "What speedo?" Then she said, "Juan's speedo!" I was like, O.O "Umm. No thanks."
I'm single and I don't want to lose my image!
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Omg everyday! Lol, but everything we talk about is too inappropriate to post on here.
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OMG my Science teacher is just the master of these...
-coughs- Now! To commence long story!
1. Onetime, during science, we were discusing the effects of acid on limestone(I think xD) so somehow along the way acidic turned to husidic. And a girl in my class was like 'Can we test this theory? Can we throw husidic people at limestone?" and he laughed.Then a guy in my class was like "Can we throw limestone at husidic people?" And my teacher fell out of his chair, laughing. but he stoodup really fast, and all serious like, said no.
2. Another time, he asked me a total irrelevent question which Ican't remember. But It was about the internet so then he went on to say "i was the queen of the internet. Queen of 4-chan!" And I just died laughing cuz he even knew what 4-chan was.
3. A brony in my class (The same one from 1) told my teacher how he could make his smartboard 20% cooler and I screamed out "Put Rainbow Dash on it" So my teacher pulled up google and typed in her name. Let's just say, something very inapropriet popped up XD
4. He tends to plank a lot and owl XD He even put his beard on the table and said "I'm bearding" and that only people with beards could do it.
5. "You're a wizard Harry," & "You're a lizard Harry" Seem to be his favorite lines.
6. He took a ball of paper and 'haduken'd it into the garbage.
7. Someone broke his metal slinky so he started to sing that one song they play when a soldier dies as he placed it into the garbage. Then made gun sounds to finish it all off.
8. Yesterday, he actually drew a troll face on the back of a paper plate and went around saying "You mad bro?"
9. We were discussing the pore space where water can seep thru the ground so somehow the topic went to cereal. And he said "For an example, we put marbles into a bowl and add milk so you can have some marbles for breakfast. When you pore the milk in, it goes thru the gaps between the marbles." And it was funny becuase he said it in this high-pitched serious voice.
There were more but I can't remember them. I'ma go ask my friend later.X3
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That cracked me up Tangle. xD
In primary school, my teacher had dropped his coffee on the floor infront of us and said to the cup: You ******* mother ****** I will kill your ******* arse hole! We all laughed our heads off.
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XD lawl
And I found the paper were I wrote more down. -has so many that she needs to find-
10. "Swiss cheese. Wheel of cheeses. Lots of pores but can't go in. Until I bite into it!" -insert noming noise-
"Sometimes, I go to the farmers market and buy some cheese and eat it like this" And he proceeded to look like a mouse eating some cheese xD
11. Girl 1: "Dilly-dallying isn't a word"
Teacher: "Yes it is. It means being Alex." Then everyone was being quiet for a bit so he said "Am I being a bully?" And Alex said "No, you're still a good friend."
Now I'm off to search for more papers with all his doings XD
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One time, in the fifth grade, my teacher was going to show an example of an ameoba (I didn't spell that right, did I?) so he pulled out a sandwhich bag with water in it and drew a smiley face on it and said "Here's Amos the Ameoba." then later he accidently popped a hole in Amos then told everybody that Amos died and we had a short little funeral thing. It was weird.
Another time we were playing a war game in class (I believe it was a simulation of the Revolutionary War or something) and he told the 'red coats' to wait outside and they did. We all hid and when they came in we pelted them with paper balls for a long time XD
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Hmm,
There was this knew girl in my class and she looked amazing! ANyways,out form teacher smiled at her and then turned to us. "This is kylie" And the girls name was 'Kayligh' and he could not pronounce it and he said k,lie'' and we was trying not to laugh cause he kept this going for 2 mineuts.