Feral Heart
FeralHeart Roleplay => Characters => Topic started by: Metalwolf on May 28, 2012, 03:09:40 pm
-
Name: silver-fang
sex: female
Species: half wolf, half husky but she looks more like a wolf.
age: 2 years (so almost 16 in human years)
(http://i1075.photobucket.com/albums/w426/silver-fang/screenshot_05012012_164717968.png)
Story:
Silver-fang lived a beautiful life with her parents and her 5 sisters, but she always knew she was different, she was a big grey wolf but the rest of her family was a bit little and blond. One day, she ask her mother if she was really her daughter and her mother answer: "if you really want to know, i will tell you the truth. You're not really my daughter, in fact, your "father" and me were searching for a territory and we went on a island. That was a really calm island where animals lived in peace but one day , demons came and they killed almost everybody, they destroyed all on the island, we were running when I saw you, you were a little pup and I didn't know if your parents were still alive But if you stayed alone, the demons would killed you so I took you. I don't know if your real parents are alive but I think this is possible so if you want you can search them. I think it's time for you to leave us and to live your own life." So she left her pack with Maya, one of her sisters, they began a long journey to find the truth about silver's family. On their way, they met 3 packless wolves who came with them . But this is sometimes better to don't know the truth...
Character:
most of time, she is very Calm and quiet she only talks to the people she trust and they are few. She can look very distant and a lot of people don't like her but with her friends, she is very Playful, friendly, faithful. People she loves can trust her. But if somebody annoys her or her friends she can become very aggressive, she is really impulsive and she loves to fight, she is the strongest wolf in her pack and she has won a lot of fights.She knows hybrids are hated by both wolves and dogs but she is proud to be an hybrid and she don't hide the fact that her mother was a husky.
(http://i1075.photobucket.com/albums/w426/silver-fang/silver_fang_by_kibaalpha-d4yaoi5.jpg)
Appearance:
She looks like a big grey wolf with black ears, blue husky eyes and a long strip on her back and tail. she always wears a dragon necklace (in the game it's a bat)
(http://i1075.photobucket.com/albums/w426/silver-fang/screenshot_05202012_163208611.png)
the true necklace:
(http://i1075.photobucket.com/albums/w426/silver-fang/41cJvcJvBxL.jpg)
-
Very nice, I love it. ^^
Although I found a few errors under character but they were minor, If you would like me to point them out just say the word. Other then that your Character's Bio was flawless; It really grabbed my attention which is a valuable trait to have as a writer, well done. ^^
Also your character's pelt is simply superb the colors of grey, black, and white do work magnificently together specially on your character...seeing her in a pool of blood however makes my heart drop T.T But I do get the message you're trying to present which is a very strong statement that most people agreed on ^^. I really enjoyed reading your work, I hope there's more to come. <3
-
Thank you for the comment.
I'm happy you loved my story, I thought nobody would love it and I wondered if I should continue to post my work. Also, I am glad you loved my character. Silver-fang is really important for me, I "created" her when I was only 3 years old and she helped me to feel better after my best friend's death when I was 8, I knew she wasn't real but I wrote stories about her and it helped me to think about something else. When i create silver she was a bit different and her name was canaille but I think she's better now. And for the errors, it would be a good thing if you say the words.
-
I love it.
-
Alrighty ^^ Under characters:she is very calme and quiet she only talk to the people she trust and they are few.
Okay the errors in this sentence are as follows: Calme,talk.
Calm is the correct spelling, and in this case Talk would be talks.
Here's another place where a couple errors occurred: But if somedy annoy her or her friends
Alright here: Somebody not Somedy ^^ and annoy would be annoys.
Just a few more corrections:she is really impulsive and she love to fight, she is the strongest wolf in her pack and she won a lot of fight.
Corrections: she love to fight, it would be she loves. she won a lot of fight, the correct way is she has won a lot of fights.
that's all for now ^^
-
I luv it