Feral Heart

Off topic => Discussion Board => Topic started by: Echoing harmony on December 10, 2015, 10:36:21 pm

Title: I need some advice.
Post by: Echoing harmony on December 10, 2015, 10:36:21 pm
Hello.

I know you're probably all tired of the same-old post about "Stressed Out" But I seek help. Since you all seem to be good at this sorta of thing.
So basically, I guess I hurt someone at school when I didn't mean to at all. My friend shared it with me and it seems like they'll not take 'I'm Sorry' for a answer. I sent a email to this person giving them a rather sincere explanation. I just need some advice to make me feel better about myself, I mean like. I handle this situation responsibly, I really just need some friends right now.
Title: Re: I need some advice.
Post by: TealSkeletore94 on December 10, 2015, 10:45:24 pm
Don't worry, sometimes these things happen and the person who was hurt will never see reason. It happens. All you can really do is do your best to try to fix the situation and if it doesn't work out then it just means it wasn't meant to be. It's not your fault.
Title: Re: I need some advice.
Post by: Echoing harmony on December 10, 2015, 10:47:59 pm
Quote from: Teal on December 10, 2015, 10:45:24 pm
Don't worry, sometimes these things happen and the person who was hurt will never see reason. It happens. All you can really do is do your best to try to fix the situation and if it doesn't work out then it just means it wasn't meant to be. It's not your fault.

Thanks for the kind words. ^^
Title: Re: I need some advice.
Post by: Preach on December 10, 2015, 11:05:38 pm
The best thing to do is wait, or if you want the person to show a quicker respond, just give them their space and just avoid them for awhile. The should know it's not your fault for the accident and I'm sure they can understand that. Sorry if this sounds unclear, clearly I am bad at giving advice.

All I am saying is...give it time...don't just rush through.
Title: Re: I need some advice.
Post by: hugrf2 on December 11, 2015, 07:52:59 am
Quote from: Preach on December 10, 2015, 11:05:38 pm
The best thing to do is wait, or if you want the person to show a quicker respond, just give them their space and just avoid them for awhile. The should know it's not your fault for the accident and I'm sure they can understand that. Sorry if this sounds unclear, clearly I am bad at giving advice.

All I am saying is...give it time...don't just rush through.

I actually agree with Preach here. Give them time to realize you didn't mean it, if you haven't already explained that you didn't already. ('Cause people may need more of an understanding than just "I'm sorry", you know?)

But again, give them some time to think about it on their own. But otherwise... I'm not sure how to say it differently, though, but it's their loss.
Title: Re: I need some advice.
Post by: PrettyReckless on December 11, 2015, 09:02:27 am
Time is the best thing you can give a person when you've hurt them. My suggestion is to sit down with the person another time when they've had time to think about the situation and what not a bit more and apologize then again.
Ask if you can start over, forget or work on getting their respect back.

Sometimes you hurt people by accident and that's not your fault.
The words "I'm sorry" means a lot more than people can imagine.
Mainly because of the gesture.

Hope the situation gets solved soon enough so that you do not have to feel bad about it anymore. c:
Title: Re: I need some advice.
Post by: G4RG0YLE on December 11, 2015, 06:02:31 pm
I think asides from time, despite the fact that it is incredibly important you be patient with whoever you have hurt either emotionally, physically, or other ways,
You should also find a way to prove that you truly do mean your apology. Sometimes, even after thinking it through; people don't accept the explanation and the apology, depending on the situation at hand. Can be difficult to show it, but you definitely need to dedicate yourself into proving you're didn't mean it. :)
Title: Re: I need some advice.
Post by: ritat on December 13, 2015, 07:49:34 pm
I love giving advice! Yes, I can definitely help!

Well, I know I don't usually type with huge letters but advice giving excites me a lot. If I see someone stressed out, the first thing that runs through my mind is helping them, not become tired of the same thing so even I were to see a 100 posts of that, I won't feel tired. Alright, to start off give that person 2-3 days to relax because if you go to a person who is stressed out the day after you'll probably regret it (from what I have experienced). The relaxation of the person will allow you to talk to them in a calmer mood, and this gives people good results when fixing problems. And in all honesty, never fear to tell the person what you wrote in the email in person because when they read it, they'll not feel the emotions you truly feel, but only a hint. This prevents a person from fixing a problem, so it's always better to talk in person. I am sorry if I write a lot, but seeing you hurt makes me hurt for some reason and I don't want you to experience what I did - so, I'll try my best to explain. After the 2-3 relaxation, go slowly up to the person and don't only apologies, but also tell them how this whole thing makes you feel and how you're not ready to hurt them. If they turn their face, be tough and brave so they can listen. Attention is key, you don't want them disappearing into a different world while you're letting your feelings out. Also, ask them questions, say 'Don't you feel the same way?' or 'Do you really want to have people who are against you in your life? Obviously, I don't'.

When the conversation ends, the person might not be fully confident about what you have provided but they will still feel something you felt so they know that you care about them. It's usually best to discuss problems rather than wing it or leave it to cool down itself, because you will not get results.

I hope this helps, and stay happy!