Feral Heart
Off topic => Discussion Board => Topic started by: Kyugima on April 22, 2011, 09:11:43 pm
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Ok, so I have a really good friend that I have been... Ignoring lately. He is the only friend that I have ever kept in contact with for as long as I have, talking to him was great, we were even kinda writing a story together. All in all, I would sit and wait for them to come on, and when they finally did I would be all 'OMG They're on! They're on!' And get straight to saying hi.
(This is before I started ignoring them) One day, when I was at my dad's house, my mum sent a message to my sister saying that she had given her number to them, Let's call them Tigger, and that Tigger would call soon. We never got the call, so I was imaptient to get back home so I could get onto MSN to ask why they had wanted to call.
So I got back home and rushed to my laptop, waited a few minutes and, poof, Tigger was on. So we got to chatting, and I asked why they had asked for the number, and why they were going to call but didn't. At first they didn't want to tell me, but eventually they did. Their girlfriend had dumped them, and they had been going to call because they wanted to ask me out, but had decided to wait a couple of days because they wanted to make sure they were over her before they did.
So after that we kept up our conversations for the next couple of days, and I noticed something odd. Suddenly they were asking about my love life, like, how is your love life, and, do you like any one. Of course, I always answered badly to these questions. I am horrible with this love stuff, I only had my first boyfriend when I was like 17 - 18, and that was mostly because It was the first time someone had come up to me and asked me out... I was overexcited about it. The relationship lasted a year, but it was horrible, I was treated like dirt, cheated on twice, and they broke up with me repetedivly (Spelt wrong, I know...) But for some reason I stuck with them until they dumped me for some chick they met over xbox live...
So my answers were never good, like not so good, to the how's your love life going, and I don't know to the do you like any one question. I wasn't going to admit to Tigger that I actually liked them a LOT. I am a nervous paranoid person, to simply go out and say I like you was something I just couldn't do. But I think that the questions might have been his way of trying to figure out if I liked him back ( I had never really mentioned liking him before, just some VERY vaque (Spelt wrong I think) suggestions, like once we were talking about the old days before I moved and he talked about how he had been planning to kiss me at the year ten formal, but then I moved, and he asked me if I liked him and all I said was maybe... Not a good hint to go by, but that's the most I really say when it comes to telling people I like them (Which is why I never tell any one I like them XD)
After a couple of days of conversation like that, I wasn't able to get on, I think it was because my laptop had a virus, I can't remember... But when I got back on I asked Tigger how they were, and they said great, I just got back from the mall with my girlfriend.
His girlfriend....
Well, I was angry and upset. I didn't say anything about it, but who wouldn't be upset when the person you like the most in the world starts talking to you about going out then turns around and asks someone else out? Well, I was pretty pee'd off, and upset too, so I just put them on block after that.
But as of late I miss talking to them... I was able to get by when he had all his other girlfriends and be the friend that supported him through thick and thin, yet I can't be that kind of friend now, simply because he didn't ask me out like he said? Or am I over reacting? Maybe I shouldn't have taken him so seriously. Or is my mum right and does he simply fall in love to quickly like my ex, and it would have just turned out like that lousy relationship?
Do you guys think I should stop ignoring him and talk to him again? Should I just hang around and see what happens if I do start talking to him again? Should I go out with him if that time ever comes around? Should I not bother with him, in the relationship department? What do you guys think of the situation. I really want to be friends with him again, but I just don't know what to do.
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Ive been dating my boyfriend for 3 and a half years now and am engaged. Throughout high school I saw all kinds of relationships and I'd say that I have a fair amount of experience in this age of the dating scene. However, I'm not a real counselor, so do take my advice with a grain of salt.
First, I'll address what I think you should do friendship wise. Honestly, if you want to keep talking to him and being his friend, you should do so. Friendship comes down to who you want to associate with. He obviously hurt your feelings, but people make mistakes. If you feel that you can forgive him and move on, and you'd like to, you should do it.
As for a relationship, in my opinion, this boy is obviously not ready for anything serious right now.
He showed this to you when he broke up, flirted and then asked someone else out within a few days.
If the opportunity came up again, you could have a chance of getting with him, but I doubt it would be long lasting. If you are okay with that though, that is fine. However, a laid back relationship with someone usually does not work well if it is long distance. Long distance relationships, in my opinion, only work if you've been in the relationship for a while before the distance, and if both people are extremely committed. As I said before, he does not seem like he wants a serious relationship, so I doubt it would last.However, you might not want one either, so it might work out for you.
Lastly, it is difficult to give 'one-size-fits-all' advice. I don't know you or him personally, so this advice might not apply. Either way, I hope Ive helped you some :)
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It wasn't a couple of days, it was about 2 weeks, the virus on my computer couldn't be picked up by my antivirus and I had to wait it out, we've had it before, and it just dissappears after a week or so... But I guess that isn't long either...
And on the serious statement.... We're talking about someone who proposed to at least 2 of his ex's... or at least one, and was planning the other when she dumped him... He takes his relationships a bit TOO seriously... To the point he makes it easy for people to use him...
I don't know if this information is even worth anything, I might make no difference at all...
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I don't have any advice but *gives you a giant hug*
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Thanks *hugs back*
Wish I knew more about guys >.> It doesn't help that I don't understand people what so ever so understanding relationships is even worse
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Wish I knew more about guys >.>
I am a guy. so all I can say is that there is no way to know about "guys" in general. Some are jerks (Most are jerks!) Some are Nice! (Just a few) And some (Like me) Fall in a group I call "Clueless"
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Well, I will be honest, I have not been in a single relationship to this day. Not sure what to do during a relationship, but this is because I never wanted one at this age because of all the drama about it. So, here's some advice from and outsider and her opinions on relationships ;):
First, in a friend point of view, if you miss him and wish to talk to him again, go ahead and do it. This may actually help you on your next step of what to do. He may not really be the relation type guy, for he has been dumped a few times and likes someone else to quickly, but as far as you have said he is a good friend and fun to talk to. I suggest trying to speak with him again, and see where that goes. If you both start speaking to each other again like you use to, maybe you should try helping him out with this relationship problem of his, telling him how he should try to take things more slowly and less seriously.
Now, as for going out with him thats probably not the best idea, at least for the moment. Like I've mentioned before, try telling him about moving more slowly and taking the time to see who he actually likes. He has his whole life ahead of him and he should use it wisely. Then, see what happens from there. If he does take it more slowly and is still interested, you could try going out with him.
Hope this helps!
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Men are pigs :3
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^Now that's going a bit too far. It's true in some cases but not all the time.
Have you considered that maybe he was just lying to you and trying to make you jealous? (yes I know that contradicts my previous statement but girls do it too).
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Men are pigs :3
I wrote the little 3 step identfication guide To avoid this statemnt.
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Yes i know Owen, hehe i saw that. And it's true, of course. Not all guys are jerks, i know about 20 guys who i am really close to ^.^
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This guy isn't one of those jerks, and I don't see him as the kind of guy that would just say stuff like that to make me jealous... Which is the issue, he's not normally the kind of guy that would do this kind of thing... His relationships are always long term, he really makes the effort, and then he does something like this... It's confusing...
Although, I really don't get the jealous part... Do you mean he was doing it to be mean or something like that?
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I think she means that he is trying to make you want him more. but IDK.
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well, if that's what they meant, it had the opposite effect and I ignored them XD
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Bleh. One of my best male friends has been asking me those types of questions for a while as well. And the same thing has happened with him and I.
The thing is, I dunno, I guess I kinda do like him a bit seeing as we talk every day and we can tell each other almost anything without the other getting mad or annoyed by it.
And I'm kinda in the same situation, but.. I found out that he likes me a lot, and I'm kinda dating someone. .w. I'm not gonna go on bragging about that but people who do.. it annoys me to no end. I guess I'd say that I would have to agree with what Katsa said. If you miss him, go ahead and talk to him again.
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I think what Owen said is sorta true..
But i'm 14, what do i know haha Dx
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I think she means that he is trying to make you want him more. but IDK.
yus.
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I don't think you really had much right to be mad at them, to be honest. It sounds like they gave you clear indications they were interested in you, and as far as they could tell you rejected them or gave ambiguous answers. If you wait too long to tell someone how you feel about them, they may just move on.
I would suggest unblocking them, apologizing for doing so, and hopefully resuming your friendship.
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resuming the friendship and maybe reviving a relationship?
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I know this is easier said than done but depend on yourself for happiness, sufficiently be happy with who you are and what you do- do this before EVER depending on anyone else for your happyness. Don't depend on this man to make your life better or happy, you and only you can do that. My mom gave me this advice long ago and I've seen first hand the results of NOT following it in my dad, (divorced) who depended on either women or being a hero to others for happiness- when he fell he fell hard- he was a destitute hobo in colorado for a year or two before he took shelter under my aunts wings and started straightening himself out. He could never be content with himself unless he had companionship. Be content withyourself before worrying about relationships is the bottom line I'm trying to convey here
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Ahmen to that Higby.
I agree with that statement, and also still offer the advice I had given earlier.
Not sure of what else to say sadly.
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This is kinda why I miss talking to them... They were the person I went to for advice, and they always knew what to say... But now they are the reason I need advice... What a turn of events >.<
I probably should have just outright said something, but I am a very shy person. Even on MSN I find it difficult sometimes. Easier than real life, where I just seem to ignore everyone (People get irritated at this... But I simply can't talk in front of people) But still difficult all the same.
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Bleh, I know what you mean xP
Its just hard to talk to people, irl or online. Sometimes I just have no clue what to say or how to say it and just clam up. This is usually when my "just smile and nod" technique comes in handy. Apparently it sometimes works and the person just wants to make sure your listening, not really caring about your thoughts or opinions :/
Well, I wish you luck Kyu! I hope things go well and hope that you two can become friends again!
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I do the same thing XD If someone just doesn't leave me alone and wants to talk or what ever I just nod my head XD
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Woot! I think I'm going to put:
"Just smile and nod"
under my profile picture xD
No one steal it! >:O
It comes in very handy xD
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Oh, I was talking to him last night, I finally did, and it turns out that his current GF is one of my old friends. He was talking about a story i was writing and she was all OMG I know them. It took me a while to remember who she was, but when I did, I am kind of happy. She was AWESOME. In the beginning she was my sisters friend, but my sister got me to just sit with them and all that sometimes, and it was fun. I even got invited to her birthday party XD Using little sister for friends FTW XD But seriously, those were some fun times.
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well that's a bright side- it's someone you approve of ^^
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Nice, thats awesome news : D
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Guess so.
Now if only he would stop being so bright and 'my life is awesome'... He's always been like that but it's getting on my nerves now, optimism has never been something I like, I can handle it, but over optimism like his is too much... XD I find optimism very annoying expecially after my ex... Thought saying really annoying optimistic things would mean we could still be friends after he cheated on me....
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Thank you!
You see, I thought I was the only one who got annoyed by this >. >
Maybe there's a way you could tell him to be a little less optimistic in a nice way? Like maybe when your both joking around you can bring it up? xD