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Today I was going through some very very old posts of mine, from 2012. I looked for any posts including my name in them as well as threads I'd started. I realized while reading through things I'd written and things people had written about me that I've changed...a lot. Back in 2012-2013, I was out-going, helpful, always making friends and participating in fun activities!
Now, I find myself rarely keeping in touch with the community other than to reply to a help thread here and there or provide feedback on some art or creations by another user. Most of my old friends on FH have gone now, moved on with their lives; though I, like so many others, have remained. Perhaps I'm so different now because I've grown up? I can't tell, but I'd really love to go back to the way I used to be, the person everyone adored for her humor and out-going personality.
I suppose to sum this up, I'd like to update myself, just as the game has been updated. Perhaps some of you may not like the new...old Bloo, as you're not so fond of the new FH. Maybe some of you who never met her in her prime will come to love and cherish her and she can feel joyous in new friends and family all over again!
So...do you ever ask yourself..."What would Bloo do?" Obviously not what would I do, but what would you do? If you found yourself face to face with a better version of your own self, would you welcome them back in with open arms like I plan to, or would you push them away and accept that change is a part of life, whether it be for better or for worse?
Please move if this isn't in the correct spot~
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I've changed in almost the complete opposite way from you. When I joined, I would hardly talk to anyone. I mean, at the beginning, I joined a couple of RPs and had a few friends, but they soon vanished, never to be seen again. I would mostly just sit alone in Fluorite or on the wall in Ficho (before the update mind you) and was just...silent. I would come across some people and strike some conversations up, but soon they would either leave and I wouldn't see them again, or we would act like total strangers the next day and never spoke again. And I was never active on the forums. Had no interest in it at all. I eventually took my leave last October thinking, "What is the point in me staying? I have no friends, and I'm not comfortable with anyone. But a few months later, January of this year, I just randomly came back. And in just a couple of weeks, I had made friends. Like...true friends. I became more outgoing and started helping out a lot more around the game and forums. And I wouldn't want it any other way. So basically what I mean is that, if I confronted my old self, I would scream at her to go away and never come back. I don't miss those lonely quiet days....
I don't really know you though Bloo, but I would be happy to see you...well....happy again! And I would gladly be your friend! Cause I plan on sticking around for awhile yet! 8D
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I've changed quite a bit since I first started on Feral Heart. In the beginning I was way more immature and more of an attention seeker which to this very day I regret. I was also very naive and would allow myself to get too attached to people I barely knew, only to end up being hurt by them. I've learned that true friendships can be made over Feral Heart, but only if it goes outside of it as well. I've made a special connection with someone that I ended up meeting afterwards. (I don't recommend meeting someone outside of Feral Heart unless you're absolutely sure you can trust them, that they are telling the truth, that you don't feel the need to question what they're saying too much, and if you know their family and so forth. In a way I broke a rule of the internet getting so close to this person, it was definitely worth it, but a risky move all the same, which is why I suggest people really get to know one another for at the very least two years before deciding to meet up.) Anyway, I've matured in my way of thinking, I've learned that even if I want to I can't just help everyone that needs it and I shouldn't trust right away that something bad really happened to someone and feel responsible for fixing it. Most of the time it turns out those people are lying for attention and to make their lives more exciting. I feel like I've learned a lot on allowing people in emotionally and because of that I do tend to shut people out more at times because I've learned when to trust and when not to, at least to a certain degree. So as it goes, I'm not wanting to go back to how I used to be, I've become more internet safe since then and more emotionally safe.
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I do. I think about things like this a lot.
Whether I would "welcome my old self back" is a harder question to answer, since I had a lot of qualities back in my early days here that were very bad. If I were to accept my old self, it would only be because I was a much happier person back then and I was the most confident I'd ever been on the internet. I used to be much more social- I was always either trying to get ingame to hang around with well-known people I hardly knew, or I was posting here on every thread I could find.
Now I am quite distant from this community. I am very rarely ingame since nearly everyone I befriended and looked up to back in the "good old days" are long gone, and my social skills are nothing like they were.
So, perhaps, yes, I would welcome back only specific parts of me with open arms. The cheerful, motivated, confident member I was when I first joined (but not the impulsive, irritating, fake person I was) , before I had to go and grow up and start worrying.
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I'll be moving this to the forum discussion board since I think it will fit best there ^^
As with this question, for me it would greatly depend on if you're talking about offline or online, since I am a very different person when comparing me to the internet and the real world
Since this seems to be more a FH thing, I'll answer the online/internet me
When I first joined FH I was young. Nearly four years ago now. I was very bubbly and cheerful, always trying to put myself out there and generally, make others happy. I was naive, and knew nothing negative about the community. I saw the forums as a place to try to get to know the well-known players before I happened to find them in-game and actually approach and talk to them (I thought that was the scariest thing xD) In-game, I made friends left and right and enjoyed either derping in Bonfire or roleplaying in Sky's Rim. However, I was also a mate-beggar, I went around screaming at people for "character stealing", and sometimes I even raged if I was picked on
I've matured a lot since then. I'm still happy and (I hope) easy to talk to, but now I've got worries of fake people etc. I see lots of the bad side of the community now, way more than I sometimes wish to see
I guessed I matured and mellowed out with age, but I'll always try to be the most kind and outgoing (and fun :3) person I can be ^^
To answer the question though, I'd have to say that I wouldn't want to be the "old internet" me
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Well when I first joined, I was really young, probably around 12. Its been four years since then, and I do have to say I think I've changed quite a bit from that time. Perhaps back then I was a little more annoying, always asking to join groups, being /too/ outgoing, etc.
I still would always love to use the forums as a way to communicate and help others. That at least, hasn't changed much for me. I have to say that I was and still am quite the mature person for my age. xD But I often get mistaken for someone 2-6 years older than my current age. So I guess you could say I matured a bit as well. Back then I was a lot more shy, less willing to joke around, very worrisome about the internet, etc. Now I'm super outgoing, friendly, talkative, and helpful.
Its very interesting to look back on yourself and say, "Wow, that was me?" And I think with age comes a better sense of self-improvement. Normally, younger people aren't typically out to create a good image of themselves, impression, etc. They're generally just trying to have fun and be accepted. But as one gets older, self-improvement becomes a very important topic. It's probably quite psychological at this point, having to do with the human brain, outside influences, etc., but I think part of aging and maturing is realizing that your outward appearance (not just looks, personality too) matters when it comes to others, and that making a good impression and whatnot becomes a valuable asset to creating relationships. This ultimately leads to the desire to want to create a better/more mature version of yourself. It's quite strange actually, and I guess it could be described as somewhat disheartening that socially and politically we are pushed to always be a greater version of ourselves, but honestly and personally, I believe that you're born with set qualities and personalities and that no matter how you age or change, they'll always be there with you. Perhaps some qualities just hide inside of you until a later period of your life. Whatever the reason is though, I think the most important thing is to remember that who you are is who you are, and you shouldn't have to feel like you have to act a certain way to be a great and admirable person. c:
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i changed a lot from when i first joined! when i first joined i was all about the game and could care less about the forums, but i was young and didn't know any better. i never really felt a pull to be active or anything on the forums, things have changed a whole bunch tbh. i was really into meeting new people and yes, i was also into getting mates.
ive looked back at my old posts a few times but theres only like 1 or 2 because i rarely got on here! but its still kind of funny because its like "i typed like that?"
ive changed into becoming a more active and helpful person on the forums now, and im usually only in game to rp with friends and hang out. i'm not as outgoing and desperate for friends as i was before, i usually just chill out and look for things to do! its really wierd to think about it sometimes as well, hard to believe i was actually like /that/. i also remeber i was all into really neon and colorful characters as well, and now my characters are usually so realistic and have deep back grounds its really funny ~
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These are things that cross my mind from time to time. I have changed a lot, both online and offline, over the last few years, whether for better or worse I'm not sure. But I feel like as if I've finally grown up...I've finally matured mentally. About 4 years ago I was still a bit of a child, silly and inexperienced. But life has shaped me into the person I am now - I'm wiser, have a clearer head and know where I want to go in life.
Change is a funny thing and affects people very differently. In the case of people changing, it is a good thing, even if we don't see it like that at first. It's like evolution; if we can't or won't adapt to change we won't survive. While I am content with "new" me, I do find that I can be a bit boring, withdrawn and...basically an old lady. I miss certain traits that "old" me had. The fun loving silliness mainly. I'd gladly embrace that again. But I guess we all have to grow up eventually.
I had a moment a few weeks ago where I went and read through old posts I made in 2011/2012. How times flies...
If old me met new me I'd imagine she wouldn't want...this. Well that's just tough, little girl, it's gonna happen and you've got a bumpy road ahead.
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Oh yes.. Don't even get me started on this.
I've changed in so many ways that I even find it difficult to grasp the reality of me 2012.
I had no clue how to work the forum, heck, I didn't even know of the other maps besides South Pole for over 2 months. I remember visiting Fluorite Plains once on my flying cat.. Don't even ask?
I started from "illiterate", since I hadn't ever actually roleplayed until I joined FeralHeart. It started from "-Yawn.-" "-Freezes.-" to actual paragraphs of roleplays, sometimes up to 13 chat box posts.
Vespian was one of my earliest friends and quickly became my biggest inspiration, probably like many others on the forum, causing me to strive to become better at roleplaying.
As you do, you drift from roleplays at times, and I didn't seem to find the correct one until I found Aequalis, I got to know Crin, who introduced me to iRawr and I became more interested in the forum part rather than roleplaying.
Many people have seen me jump back and forth with activity, and this may be the most active I've been for years.
Truth is, a lot of things happen in real life causing us to grow up, drift or become closer with the game/forum or people in general. I may look back at my old stuff and cringe thinking I was a complete loser, but then again, we've all been there? Young, -Cough.-Iwas19.-Chokes.-, and sometimes inexperienced with forum or socializing around the game.
We make friends and we lose friends on the way, but in the end we've always learned to know someone who has effected our lives and the way we are in at least one way.
Our interest will drag us to different parts of our lives from time to time. Say, some days FeralHeart may be the most important thing, other days you feel like you need to focus on something else. We all have those moments.
I can also look back at who I was, what I wrote and be proud of who I've become today.
A lot of it thanks to FeralHeart and the people I've learned to know.
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It's so great to see I'm not the only one who's been confronted by my old self on more than one occasion! While I do miss the old me and strive to be more like her in a lot of ways, I do realize there were a lot of negative aspects about myself in 2012 that I don't wish to revisit. I was obnoxious, I got my feelings hurt too easy, and I clung to everyone. While I can say I made a lot of real friends, there are others who probably wouldn't back me up today if I ever needed them.
Maturing as I did seemed to wipe away the fog in front of me and I now see that a good reputation doesn't come from being loud and obnoxious, or from the friends you make or how popular you become. It's about making a good personal image for yourself. If you feel happy just helping out where you can and sticking close to the few, but amazing, friends you've got; that should be all it takes.
I too have grown though, as Ressy said, I also used to roleplay with dashes haha, though some friends introduced me to literate roleplaying and I believe that helped push me along the path to growth. I must say I'm happy to be the me I am now, but again, I wouldn't mind welcoming in certain parts of my old self.
Thank you guys so much for answering. It's an eye-opener in several ways and helps me feel so understood on the subject.
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In the beginning, I was sorta shy, and I didn't have great grammar. That was the reason why I made my first post 5 months after I joined. Plus, I did more roleplaying than anything, and I kinda thought that most people in the community would be rude. Again this was about 14 months ago(Yes, I DO REMEMBER how long Ive played this game).
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i looked back at my old posts from like 2013 and 2014 (when i was super active on the forum) some time ago and all i can say is that i creeped myself out so much. i had no idea how maniac i acted back then, jesus christ. i feel bad for the people who had to tolerate me back then.
in-game wise, it's pretty much the same but i was such an immature brat starting out. i couldn't focus on anything at all and and i could never finish off anything, which made it difficult for myself to rp and keep friendships intact. this is still a problem for me today but i was so inconsiderate and clueless about it at the time.
dunno how i can describe myself today, except for the fact that i'm more social and mature. i also learned a lesson to not publicly show my strong interests to people who barely know me. haha
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I've only been here about half a year now, but within those very few months I've quite easily changed. Before I was very outgoing (still partly am), and determined to get to 1,000 posts on the forums. Therefore I'd always been incredibly hyperactive; but once my goal was reached at 1,000 posts I decided it was about time to calm down. So over time I've definitely stepped back and relaxed, and although it means I've been very inactive in-game because I'm quite a busy bee right now - I've always remained loyal to these forums and always will. I've sort of "grown up" into the person I a today and am still growing and maturing.
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It's completely opposite for me (just like for many others I guess). Feral Heart affected me in a way, and now when I look at my old posts I realize how much of a dork I was. Not being self critical or something, it's just how it is. This game allows me to be myself, without putting on a mask and trying to be someone else (thanks to the strict rules and a rather accepting community, I guess) which is what I do in other gaming communities and occasionally in real life. That is probably why I still come back here sometimes, even though I'm not active anymore.
I'm not in love with every member of the community, but I'm liking the changes in myself and others so far. It would be more visible if FH was more active tho.
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I joined Feral Heart about a year ago, and I am still usually the youngest within my friend circle, but I still feel that I have matured tremendously. From learning the correct way to role play, to making new friends.
When I first started to play Feral Heart, I joined many wolf packs and made some new acquaintances along the way. But as time passed I grew less close to the friends I made as they became inactive. I began to roam the game aimlessly and felt my self starting to become more inactive as well. I took a break from the game for about a month, and decided I needed to join an active group. I remember I used to just lay around fluorite plains watching advertising movies for groups deciding which one I should join, but none of them seemed to fit my requirements at the time. That was when I decided to start my own pack named "Wolf Eclipse." Now that I look back at how I organized the pack, I laugh and think "oh my god, look at how far you've came from that point." I made many friends from the pack, and I am still in touch with a few members ever since that pack has been disbanded.
In the beginning I didn't believe that there was any bad sides of the community, and I believed that everyone was cheerful and bubbly. But as I have become more outgoing and social to other players, I see that some generalizations I have made could be wrong.
In conlclusion, I am saying that I have grown so much in the time that I have played feral heart, and made many friends on the way.
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I gotta say that when I joined Feral Heart, I was SO WEIRD. Literally, SO WEIRD.
Let's imagine that you're laying in any map, and then a weird, neon and ugly character comes (Yup, that weird, neon and ugly character was me at that time)
So, that weird, neon and ugly character is jumping around you with a creepy smiley face, and starts to talk in the chat without knowing how to speak english and saying weird things to every user that comes by its way. Asking to be your friend or to join your group with ununderstandable words when attempting to speak in english.
So yah, that was me in 2011 end, when I joined Feral Heart... I was 9. Even my old username was creepy.
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When I joined Feral Heart, I was pretty little. At least in my opinion. I had no knowledge if the forums nor Roleplay and I always made a new character and created such amazing stories through RP. Even though I was quite the mate-beggar in those times, I was young then and I didn't know any better. I started to mature as the following year came and I also was active on the forum. I started to mature a bit and I met some pretty good people here.
I was striving for so many things and I achieved some of it, but then I realized I wasn't happy with myself and left. I came back again with a different attitude and I'll stick around for a bit. Otherwise, I guess that sums up how much I changed <.<
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I could say that I've changed. I've had a lot going on irl and that has affected the way I act since I started playing FeralHeart beginning of 2011. I used to be a lot more social and a lot more active in the community. I used to hop online every day! o-o Now, I'm hardly on at all. I'm a lot older now, and still enjoy the community on the forums. I feel as if our community has shown me that there are still good people out there, despite all the negativity we see in the real world. I've matured a lot, have grown as a person, have a different perspective on a lot of topics, but for some reason I'm less social. However, that doesn't mean I don't want to be social, I just don't have many people to talk to.
It's good that you can evaluate yourself and see how you've grown. I think that's the importance of all of this. Noticing your positive changes over the years and your negative changes and forming a new you.
I wouldn't want to push my old self away, I'd want to watch and see for myself all that has changed throughout the years. I have a memory disorder so some things will come to a surprise to me.
Great topic btw. Really made me think :)