Feral Heart

Off topic => Discussion Board => Topic started by: Ellen11v on June 05, 2017, 10:39:39 pm

Title: I just don't know
Post by: Ellen11v on June 05, 2017, 10:39:39 pm

First off: I want to apologize for this action, in case it's prohibited to make this discussion.
Just before I created this topic post, I've read the Discussion board rules, twice.
Though I am still unsure if this is alright enough.
I have NOT included people's names, adresses, phone numbers, etc. however I chose to replace their names with the first letter of their first names, and * behind the first letters of the names. For example Ellen = E**** and Bob = B**. This way you guys can help me without really mentioning the names.

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Hello guys, so something happened to me today, for the second time in my boardimg school time.

In the school, I sat on the couch along the hallway, having a chat with my good friend K*****. Suddenly he mentioned a party that S** - a close friend - is hosting the 3rd July. I saw on K*****'s phone that S** wrote it was possible to sleep over at her house. I asked her why I was not invited to that party, and she said I was going out for vacation that day. I thought she was right about that because it was in that week where me and my family would go on vacation. But later I found out that the 3rd july is before the day I would go on vacation, so I immediately messaged S** that I COULD actually attend her party. She replied back "But people who attend to the party have to sleep over from 3rd to 4th july, so you can't". I was thinking "but you said it was POSSIBLE to sleep over, not that people HAVE TO...", so I replied back friendly "You have to sleep over? Can't I just leave and go home when I need to?", then she said "Yes but, Ellen.. You're not invited. Sorry". At last I replied "Okay then".

I don't know hos I should understand it when she invites all my close friends from my school and then rejects me, not allowing me to come.
Is it that I should know they would have it eat better without me?
I am close to break down and maybe skip breakfast tomorrow from this. It may sound too much but I feel less worth than other people in school sometimes, bevauseI get reject for no real reasons, and no explanations.

The reason I'm posting this here is because I believe I can trust you guys. Most of the people here are smart, kind, and honest, unlike the ones at my school.

Tell me, what should I feel about this, what can I do about it? Should I change something?

Sorry for the long and complexed text. I hope you guys know what I mean about these things.

Title: Re: I just don't know
Post by: Kuri on June 05, 2017, 11:52:16 pm

Sounds like a normal experience for me.  No idea what causes it either, so my only advice is that you should watch them carefully and see if they behave differently later.  Who knows what might happen while you are gone.  (You could always hope that they are excluding you to protect you?  Not likely but it may be so?)

Title: Re: I just don't know
Post by: Ellen11v on June 06, 2017, 09:34:19 am

Thank you Kuri. To be honest I don't think they exclude me to protect me. When I told one of my friend who are invited to the party that I'm able to come, and told him I was just not invited, he said "Damn... That's sad" and said nothing else.

Title: Re: I just don't know
Post by: G4RG0YLE on June 06, 2017, 11:03:20 am

Unless this person can come up with a valid reason to justify their "You're not invited. Sorry" and explain to you the actual reason for no invitation being sent out to you, I'd say it's rather unfair for them to have left you out of the event completely and simply dismiss your questions and not talk it through.

However, I also understand where they're coming from- if I was the party host and knew you were going on holiday the following day, I would also perhaps consider not inviting you. For one, preparing for your holiday can be rather tiring and stressful; if you prepared your departure the day before (the day of the party) then the outcome could be that you cannot attend the party and even if you could, would not be there for a very long time because you'd have to leave to rest and not sleep over like the others. I'd say, rather than having you pack up, come to the party, then go back after a short period of time- it would be pointless to have invited you in the first place, as I wouldn't want you to exhaust yourself with stress of preparing for two things on the same day.
^ Although this is what my thought processes would be, it cannot be verified that this is also what your friend was thinking at the time.


I'd just thought I'd share some light on both sides, balance out the possibilities and whatnot. Yet, if you weren't invited for other reasons- don't fret. When more parties come your way, I'm sure you'll be invited and you'll have much more fun. c:

Title: Re: I just don't know
Post by: Bawfle on June 06, 2017, 11:17:03 am

All I can say is, if people don't want to go out of their way to include you, then don't go out of your way to include them. Some may view this as childish, but honestly it's not worth the time including people who have no interest in including yourself in something. Chin up, Ellen. You're going on vacation, they're just sleeping and probably talking about people behind their backs. I mean, that's how it usually goes right?

Anyway. I hope my advice somewhat helped you. If you ever need to rant, you can go ahead and rant to me. I'm open about it.

Title: Re: I just don't know
Post by: Ellen11v on June 06, 2017, 12:32:43 pm

I can't thank you guys enough for this. Your advices help me good. I'm starting to forget about that stupid party. You really know how to help one out <3
Thank you.