Feral Heart

Off topic => Discussion Board => Topic started by: Vwang on June 27, 2017, 02:22:23 am

Title: But why me?
Post by: Vwang on June 27, 2017, 02:22:23 am

To be honest I don't know why but. Why me? Why do they have to be okay with everyone in summer camp and they would yell at me and never let me talk to them. I don't understand what I did wrong for being myself? Wherever I go everyone keeps glaring at me,  If I try to talk the kids would usually shush me or try to get me to go away. This happened in school, summer camp, and also other places, I just want to fit in. I'm fed up with this and it's obviously my personality, But I can't enjoy myself when I want to be funny and be weird, So they are saying I can't be myself? They keep thinking they are safe by using their friends and siblings as defenses. In school why are the girls keep leaving me out? A girl said straight to me  "Stop being annoying."
Why am I the target? Why me?
I read the rules and I'm not sure if its okay to rant like this but I said nobody's name and nothing personal.
I don't want this to be taken farther.
How do I stop them from doing this? It's wrong to treat someone badly and like everyone else. Because I can't find any other things except "ignore them" because the ignoring doesn't work and the effect is still there

Title: Re: But why me?
Post by: Wyldercat on June 27, 2017, 03:56:33 am

(I do feel like a rant like this would fit more into off topic discussion but I'll leave that to a mod to decide.)

That is pretty terrible though, man. I'm sorry you had to go through this. I went through the same things in school. I know what it feels like. I don't want to type up too much publicly for obvious reasons, or to not clog up the post incase it gets moved or locked, but, if you want someone to talk to, my pm box is always open for you, dear. <3

Title: Re: But why me?
Post by: sanrio on June 27, 2017, 04:21:02 am

(I agree with Wylder)

But dang, it's really never good to go through something like that. I've been there and trust me, things will get better, no matter how bad they seem current. You can get through this, I know you can. If you ever need to talk or just want some company then I'm always on the forums and you can find me in The Grounds, I hope things get better some time soon.<3

Title: Re: But why me?
Post by: Kuri on June 27, 2017, 07:43:57 am

Dunno.  i thought that was normal at your age though.

Title: Re: But why me?
Post by: Warriorstrike on June 28, 2017, 03:25:59 am

Summer camp, school environments, etc., can be quite a tricky thing to understand sometimes. I don't think there's always a clear answer to your problem. ^^ From what I've gathered, I can tell you that it's not always that you've done something "wrong," but rather someone else's judgement of you does not align with his own perspectives, his own mindsets, etc. People like to fit in to be inclusive to a group or a way of behavior/thinking because it gives the appearance of unity and equality and because it masks fear that you will not be accepted or judged in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable. My advice would be to ask yourself why you want to fit in. The desire to be included in a group (through clothing style, physical mannerisms, hobbies, etc.) is not a harmful thing in itself, but I think if you look into the why you want to fit in, as opposed to why you don't fit in, you might find a bit of insight. If you don't fit in because you don't enjoy the things other people do, trying to force yourself to enjoy those things for the sake of gaining someone's respect is only changing yourself for something you think other people want (and it's so difficult to tell what people want, too), which can be destructive emotionally because you may allow someone else to dictate your life without truly wanting to live said lifestyle, dress said way, be like said people. The easy way out is to follow everyone else, but then I think it's difficult-- more so than standing alone-- to simply get out, to simply rekindle your originality and difference. The greatest thing you can walk away from your experiences of feeling isolated and an outcast is not the discovery of how to fit in, but discovering the importance in walking outside of the norm.

What you're going through is not something you've walked alone in-- many other people have felt excluded depreciated, and while your experience is unique, the only little comfort I can offer is the perspective that you are not alone in feeling hurt by those environments. My advice to you would be to not allow the world to make you bitter and resent the people who make you feel different (because the people who are making you hurt may have gone through a similar thing, conformed to a standard by putting forth an abrasive behavior, simply because they don't want to be seen as different). As difficult it is, stay true to what you know you care about, the things you enjoy. People will always find a way to judge you-- by trying to conform to someone else's style, his way of life, or anything about him, you are not evading judgement, rather passing judgement from one group of people to another. If you try to fit in, people will judge you for wanting to sway with the crowd, and if you choose to allow yourself reflect what you believe in and be unique, people will judge you for your differences. Changing yourself for other people will have the greatest effect on you, but do you want to change yourself because you want other people to like/appreciate/respect you, or because you think the change will be beneficial for you as a human being?

Stay true to what you believe in, opinions aside. Your uniqueness is a gem.

If it's getting to the point of something more harmful to you, there are people who can help. I would suggest going beyond the means of the forum and seeking out a counselor (if you're still in school, they often have at least one at the campus) if you feel the necessity. My inbox is open if you ever want to talk. Keep your head up, consider to peek into the why do I think/feel this about said subject (you'll learn something from this) rather than a constant why do I/why do I not, and the path you leave behind you will show your resilience and perserverance through it. <3