Author Topic: one chance to say goodbye  (Read 158 times)

Offline malewife

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one chance to say goodbye
« on: June 22, 2021, 10:31:10 am »
hi, i realize my goodbye post is moreso 5-7 years late, but i felt i could really do with the closure because there isn't a time where my mind drifts back to the old state of this game. my name is noah. i first started playing this game about 8 or so years ago. some of you may have known me as ciel (from TEC, TKC) or biohazard from the impressive title and feralheart community a long time ago. i was more known in the impressive title server community. it is sadly dead now. this game has held a very large place in my heart, i remember browsing the internet and stumbling into feralheart videos and begging my parents to let me play it on their pc, which barely ran. but nonetheless, i was so happy. this kickstarted my love for mmorpgs and to this day, i still play them. (i play on ffxiv hi!) and in a way this community is what lead me along my path to coming out as what i truly am: a boy. from pretending to be a boy on the internet, from making male characters, to trying to "act" like a boy so people never found out i was a girl at the time, were very huge indicators back then that i'm glad i realize now. and i'm so thankful feralheart was the mmo that helped me realize this finally, at 20 years old. whenever i see how this game has become now, i become very sad to see that it has died and been reduced to this low of a population. there was a time when there was more than 1000 players on at even the most dead times of the night. i remember when people could be their cringey selves and we all just had fun. feralheart was a place where i could feel safe, it was my escapism from a hard life at the time. and to this day, the memories and people i met on this game have given me the strength to continue. and since it held such a huge part of my heart and my life, i want to say goodbye -- properly.


to everyone in TEC/TKC/BL that might be reading this, i want to thank you for being my friends and talking to me when at the time i had no one. i was very young, but i never told anyone my real age. i'd been with you guys since i was really young and i always thought all of you were so cool, i looked up to you and i still do in many ways. you hold most of my cherished memories on this game. you are very special to me and i think of all of you more than you know whenever i have darker days. there was one day in south pole, i was very lonely and sick of taking the treatment from my ex. i considered taking my life, yet i never told anyone. but you guys talking to me and keeping me company stopped me that day. i will always remember that.

to bullet, we may have not of ended on the best of notes from what i remember, and i want to apologize for the way i was when i was younger. you were very kind to me and i will never forget that kindness. i haven't in these past several years, either.

to fatal, my best friend and even my girlfriend at some point, you were one of the most special people in my life and every memory i have of you is so special, yet so far away. if you are somehow reading this i hope you are having a happy and healthy life and are getting what you want and more.

to lacey, and silver, we may not talk anymore but i also remember all of our times together. all four of us were the best of friends and i wish it could've lasted forever. please be happy and well in life.

to everyone else, it's time for me to finally move on. goodbye, and thank you for the fond memories, feralheart. i will dearly miss the mate and parent begging in general chat. and i will dearly miss my characters.






however, goodbyes aren't forever. you can still keep up with me on my twitter, or if you play ffxiv maybe we can even get to know each other. and to make this less depressing, new beginnings happen too. here is my oc that i have made based off of ocs i've had in the past, that have lead up to a personal, and unique aesthetic.



« Last Edit: June 22, 2021, 12:26:31 pm by malewife »

Offline LadySigyn

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Re: one chance to say goodbye
« Reply #1 on: June 22, 2021, 11:50:20 am »
This was a very touching post to read.

I do remember you as Ciel in TKC. I was previously Masketta- am now Nyx, and I'm happy to tell you that TKC is still very much alive. May not be as populated as it once was, but our numbers have been growing a bit over the past month.

Despite this being your farewell post, I would like to say how nice it is to see you return, even if it's just to write this.

I can share the love you have for this game and community. FH has been a big part of my life for almost a decade now, which is crazy to think about. It's strange to think I was only 12/13 when I started playing this game, and I'm now 22, and still just as attached to FH and its community.

Congratulations on coming out and discovering who you were truly meant to be; that's not an easy journey, but in the end, it is a rewarding one nonetheless. As a member of the LGTBQ+ community myself, I can understand how relieving and wonderful it is to finally come out and embrace yourself as who you really are.

As for your goodbye, I do hope that perhaps some day you'll return to us. If not, then that's alright; every journey must come to an end eventually. Please take care, and know that you are welcome here if you ever fancy returning, or even just peak in every once in a while. We will be here to greet you warmly.

If you'd like, you're welcome to join the TKC Discord, even if you don't play FH. We're still a big family, and would be happy to have you with us once again. <3

I wish you the best of luck out there with things. You'll be missed dearly. Farewell, Ciel.

Discord: Sigyn#1999
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Offline malewife

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Re: one chance to say goodbye
« Reply #2 on: June 22, 2021, 12:20:27 pm »
oh my goddd it's been so long, i remember you as well!! it warms my heart to know that TKC still goes on, there were times i tried to come back to feralheart but would often go inactive for a long time because i was busy with other games and my life to log onto fh everyday. but i dearly miss it, it helped me through some of the hardest times in my life and i subconsciously took it for granted. i would love to rejoin. i still log on occasionally to brood over what once was and to take a moment to cherish my memories.

i started playing fh when i was either 9 or 10. i don't remember. but i've been here a very long time and i saw the highest points of this game, and am honored to have done so, even if i don't necessarily remember it. and thank you so much for your kindness, it really means a lot to me. nostalgia is such a painful feeling to have, and i cried writing my goodbye post tbh LOL

i believe i was in it on my old discord, but i have since deactivated it and gotten a new one. i would love to rejoin the discord though, that would mean so much to me ;__; !!!! my discord name doesn't show up since it's special characters, so you'll have to give me yours though if thats okay!
« Last Edit: June 22, 2021, 12:22:26 pm by malewife »