I'm just gonna, leave this here. This is a serious thing right?
Don't take this the wrong way, or anything, just some tips to make it a little better.
I skimmed through the story. It was a bit hard to understand with lack of commas and other punctuation. Also, not every good creepypasta story has to have "hyper realistic blood." (Which just leads me to think this is a troll story. Because I really am not entirely sure. Call me dumb if it is.) Or blood at all, really. It takes the feeling out of the story. Just look at the BEN DROWNED story, as I assume you've seen the videos or read the story. From what I remember it didn't have any blood.
Someone named YuriOfWind on youtube does these kinds of Creepypasta reviews, and he points out every small detail that breaks the story.
Again, don't take it personally. I love CreepyPastas, and I'd like to see what potential this story has, even if it's your first attempt. These are just some small tips. Sorry. UvU;;
Happy writing.