The Crow

[blueroseknight95]

View her journal at wingedcrow.livejournal.com
(If this doesn't belong here, please tell me.)

Name: Crow

Reason for Name: Can fly higher than anyone else on Avioshaven, wings are jet black, is very fast

Age: 1 year (dog years)

Gender: Female

Height: 3 feet at the shoulder

Rank: Ex-Winged Guardian

Weight: 120 lbs

Wing Span: 12 feet wide

Description: Jet black, orange eyes (black white of eyes, slit pupil), blue Siamese markings on head and body, tail tip is blue, wings are/were jet black

Pack: Wing Road Pack

Bio: She was banished from her home on Avioshaven for killing her sister with "no cause." Her wings were ripped off, and she now lives in a world known as Feral Heart.

Species: Bird Blade Wolf (only species with a royal guard, speicies of bird-winged animals)

Home: Avioshaven Atlantis

Nickname: Death's Wings

Reason for Nickname: Because of her powers.

Powers: (there are 6)
1. Can walk on water.
2. She can turn any surface jet black, including the water, with each step she takes (this curses anyone who walks over it).
3. She can make a barrier of crow feathers as a defense, as well as make it rain blood and crow feathers.
4. Her eyes change colors to show her emotion.
5. She can throw her voice into a screech mixed with a roar, which is deafening.
6. She can heal using the crow feathers.

Personality: She is helpful and free spirited. Her personality is kind, but can be aggressive when it's needed.

Type of Howl: A beautiful song of a howl. Her howl tells her story, and makes even the coldest of hearts melt.

Voice Tone: She is usually emotionless, fearing that she might screech like the bird she was named after.

 

Wanna RP with her? We can email, use the Feral Heart Forum, or Facebook.

[email protected] (email and Facebook)

blueroseknight95

[Bloo.]

Wow. This is an amazing bio. I can see you put a lot of hard work into it. Good job fur you :3

[blueroseknight95]

   Yep, and it doesn't help matters any when the keyboard thinks you type too fast, and the mouse quits working. ^^" And, thank you. ^^ I was looking at my dog and measured him. He's 150 lbs and 2 feet at the shoulder. (he's a yellow lab, btw, mostly muscle) And I guess I just wanted a bigger wolfy than him, but lighter in weight. (I'm 5'7, so 3 feet is pretty tall to me.) About... up to my hip? That's the size of a German Shephard I know, unless he's 3'8. (Might change a couple things. -_-")
    Lol, blonde me just noticed the shortcuts to submiting. ^///^ Whoops.

[Bloo.]

Lol, well I still think it's a cool bio

[blueroseknight95]

Thank you. X3 Oh! Did you see the super moon on Saturday? It was when the moon was the closest to the earth and brighter than ever.

[Bloo.]

Shyaaa I did. Unfortunatly i live in the northern hemisphere oso it wasn't as big -_-

[Hallucination]

Cool character! I'd hate to see your character ever meet my 'Elder God' character. It seems like it'd be a sight to behold. Lol.

[#Uzuri#]

Lol. Hallucination, It would Indeed. To tell the truth I think both of your characters would be generally equal opponents in combat all though the turn out is impossible to tell Anyway Yes awesome bio I love it. It's very well organized and thought out. ^^ Well done.

[blueroseknight95]

Lol, I dunno. ^^" I guess experience will tell? Who knows, they may even be allies. You can never tell with things such as that. ^^

[Tetsune]

She has some good characteristics, but she seems a little bland personality-wise. That usually changes with roleplay, though.

There are a lot of things that are... Off. They make her seem like a Mary Sue, mostly in her powers.

1. Can walk on water.
Make sense if she's light/if the rest of her species can. Since the species is your own, you can do that.

2. She can turn any surface jet black, including the water, with each step she takes (this curses anyone who walks over it).
Pretty neat, but why? There isn't really a reason why she has this. Is she cursed?

3. She can make a barrier of crow feathers as a defense, as well as make it rain blood and crow feathers.
Crow-feather defense is pretty neat, but raining blood and crow feathers? Don't you think that's a little over-powered? It's too god-like to control any kind of weather.

4. Her eyes change colors to show her emotion.
This is THE widest used trait among Mary Sues. There's no reason for it, and it's generally not a good idea.

5. She can throw her voice into a screech mixed with a roar, which is deafening.
This makes sense, since they're half bird.

6. She can heal using the crow feathers.
This also makes sense, since it goes with the general motif of her powers.

There are other things that seem really off, like how she killed her sister for apparently no reason, yet she's helpful and kind? That's extremely contradictory, and often cliche.
Another one of the biggest things is that you describe her howl as "beautiful" and that it can "melt even the coldest hearts." Beauty is subjective, so you're trying to make her perfect in a way, trying to say how she's never unlikable.

As thought-out as she is, she needs a little more work on originality. I apologize ahead of time if I offended you, but critiques are critiques and I thought her bio needed a bit of help.