Author Topic: Cursed Luck (Dark atmosphere and described bloodshed.)  (Read 3366 times)

Offline Verinian

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Cursed Luck (Dark atmosphere and described bloodshed.)
« on: November 29, 2012, 10:17:57 pm »
Cursed Luck

Chapter 1

In the fodder.

    Ephas stood at attention at the front of the battle line. Behind the front battle line stood the cavalry.  And behind that the archers... He had a bow.  But it was more for looks amongst their ranks than any use.  As just pulling the string back would possibly break the entire thing to pieces.  the Kaptain stood ahead of them giving his "Rousing speech"...  More like epitaph...  Every single one of them could possibly die on this day unless they were luckier than his mother's silver bracelet of godly luck.  And by his standards that was not a single one of these maggots that stood before him.  

     Faces shone with horror.  Despair...  And happiness to die for the furthering of the dark race into the lit lands.  But his own shown nervously.  To tell the truth he couldn't feel his legs anymore, his feet were so numb he was barely standing there.  And the person next to him slit their own throat in fear...  "Disgusting!"  The Kaptain yelled out at the suicidal soldier who lay bleeding out.  "You will charge on my mark!  Whoever lives will be given medical treatment!  Whoever doesn't will be stitched back together and sent in with the necromancer's other minions!"  

     He lifted his blade high above his head.  Across the great field stood an entire army, though only half their size.  They stood with faces of grim determination to halt the dark race from any further conquest...  If they lost this battle...  The rest of their people would be done for...  The Sesthil...  The lizard people.  3000 soldiers against 6000 of the dark race.  Though yet only more would attack the next day...  And the Sesthil knew it...  Many cried what could possibly be their final tears of this life, standing with swords raised.  Shields at the ready in the gleaming gold armor of the Sesthil paladins.  They were ready to die such that the rest may evacuate and survive...  And they would all die~  

     The Kaptain swung his blade forward with a yell.  And the fodder charged forwards across the distance for the 3000 elite warriors of the remaining Sesthil army.  They stood strong, as the first clashes broke out, they yelled with the fury of their god Orobourous and smote down the fodder by the hundreds...  Thousands...  Though losses still they had.  Not was it long before the fodder went to retreat.  Ephas left confused, his blade still left unblooded.  Yet fortune favored on the young greenhorn, as rather than being beheaded by a Sesthil blade, he received naught but the smashing of a shield across his face as he fell unconscious...  

     The Sesthil Paladins of Orobourous had easily repelled this fodder with few yet still mountable losses... The next day would never be so simple...  They quickly scoured the field.  Killing all injured and taking into custody any in good condition, shackling them and force feeding a draught of sleep to keep them stuck to the realm of sweet shadows.


    Ephas shivered to partial wakefulness as he rolled slightly to the side before grasping across the wooden floor beneath him as his eyes shot open and he shot to his feet, managing to strike his head on a lowered roof.  The only light that shone was through a heavy grated window through a thick wooden frame.  Where was he?  

     Patting himself down.  No weapon.  No tools.  Only the black dyed linen under suit that had been under his leather armor.  Where was he?!  The small bit of light shone across the short room upon a door.  Which upon trying to open he almost cried out, as it was locked and bolted, a small wooden slat in the door opening as two serpentine eyes stared through, otherwise shadows and hidden from his sight.  

     The slat quickly closed without a word, and did not open or unlock.  From the other side he heard speak between two Sesthil.  "Have you ever noticed the-...  Their eyes seem but so...  Similar our own..."  "Blasphemy!  Next you'll start talking about ancient curses and myths that hold no weight.  Maybe I should lock you up with one and see how like us these savages are..."  "No...  I think I will be....  Quite alright..."  "Then shaddap."  

     After the brief conversation as he listened under the door, one of the partakers of this conversation left.  By the soft mutterings.  The one whom had been overly observant was the one who remained there to watch.  Finally Ephas peeked through the grated window.  Outside is what astounded him...  The Sesthil harbor to see greeted his vision...  How had he not yet noticed the scent of salty sea water in the air before?  Ships lay ready to set out.  

     Sesthil crowded onto the ships, carrying personal objects and food.  The corsair ships were small and fast.  But modified to hold more than usual.  they were fast ships.  For a fast escape...  Even he felt the swaying of the ship he was inside.  Yet when he had awoken he had assumed it was only from the wind...  He sat upon a small stool as the only furniture in the room, and stared at the floor.   He was...  So...  Done for now...  

     It was already late into this day as sudden bells rang outside loudly.  Warning that the paladins were returning to hold for their last attempt a select group of only 15 coming aboard to safeguard their people as the rest in the distance held back a horde of...  Innumerable attackers.  The ships released from harbor.  And set rapidly out for the oceans...  

     To the west, across the ocean.  Were the Abolycans.  As the term suggested.  Their culture had much to do with wolves.  Though nothing wolf like about the people themselves.  They lived in an icy land, not suitable for the Sesthil...  But they had offered shelter to the new refugees openly.  The ships dropped sails and like that.  The wind caught and the ships shot forth, cutting through the water like a machete does thick brush.
« Last Edit: December 16, 2012, 08:30:26 am by Asterian Ni'Tari »

The shadows that surround us.

The Plight of a Dragon.  Chapter 2

I...  Might literally be losing my mind...  It's scaring me... ;-;

Offline Verinian

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Re: Cursed Luck
« Reply #1 on: November 29, 2012, 10:26:52 pm »
Chapter 2

Amongst the...  Enemy..?

    Ephas shivered slightly as he lay upon the cot.  They hadn't fed him very well...  But they didn't starve him...  Not even close.  Giving him a fair bit of collected leftovers.  Occasionally a bit of mold, but not purposefully.  It was already...  he couldn't tell anymore.  His head ached in his thirst before a small plate of waster was pushed under the door.  It was like a charm or something as he stood shaking and moved over, lifting the plate he carefully drank it and slid it back under.  

     He sat against the door, back to it now.  From his pacing, and doing odd ways to keep his muscles stretched the floor was worn already.  His ears perked though as he heard the same two guards finally at it again about something similar to what they had...  A month ago..?  "I told you sympathizing venomtongue!  I'll stick you in there with em if you think they so like us!  It isn't no damned empty threat!"  "Then prove it!  Curse of Orobourous on you and your family!  The primarch would have been disappointed with your ilk."  He spat.  

     Ephas heard the popping of knuckles from a clenched fist before a thump.  He heard the scraping of feet and a short fight.  An oof.  Before his cell door flung open and the other guard was tossed in.  The door slamming back closed behind them as the other guard walked off mumbling.  "Damned dark race sympathetics...  Fools...  The whole lot of them!"  Ephas looked down at the Sesthil who lay battered upon the floor holding their torso from the pain of the beating.  Slowly the pain faded and he looked up at Ephas, looking at him...  Weakly.  The Sesthil recoiled, almost jumping back as he tried the door, but Ephas just lowered his gaze for the floor.  

     The Sesthil calmed his own panic enough to at least greet the dark race prisoner.  "Hello..?"  Ephas answered with a two finger wave but otherwise didn't move, sitting on the cot that had been his bed for the last month...  Month and a half..?  "You don't look so hale and hearty..."  Ephas rolled his eyes and nodded.  Forcing down his pride so that he may part his own anger.  "No..."  "Ahh.  So you do speak...  Err.  Sorry for the bluntness of that. So...  You were a dark race soldier..?"  

     Ephas shook his head, drawing another question from the Sesthil.  "What..?"  "Conscription..."  The Sesthil seemed perplexed...  Conscripted for war..?  IT was...  Despicable...  "Ephas shook his head a slight bit dizzy for the moment as his eyes seemed to spark alight for a brief moment as he held his head for a headache, and scratched slightly for a small itchy patch on his right shoulder that just wouldn't fade.  In fact.   It only got worse and worse...  He assumed it was from not bathing this entire time...  

     Then again.  He doubted any of those on the ships bathed during this month.  As Ephas moved to scratch his shoulder however he yanked his hand away with a low yelp.  "Oww..."  Then he rubbed at it slightly.  The Sesthil shook his head.  "Let me check that...  I have dabbled only a little in the healing arts.  But it should be enough for a minor wound..."  Ephas didn't try to fight back as they pulled up his shirt, pulling it away from his shoulder.  At the back of his shoulder was a dry cracked red rash that covered most the back of his shoulder.  

     "Tssst...  This doesn't look good...  What is your name by the way?"  "..."  "Oh...  Sorry...  I am Apprentice Avin...  Apprentice to what?  Alchemy and herbalism."  "...  Ephas..."  "Hmm...  Very different naming your dark people use..."  As the Sesthil brought up his hand, it ever so softly glowed with a relaxing light.  But the effect was anything but relaxing as Ephas cried out and recoiled forwards onto the floor.  

     The Sesthil jumped, stepping back slightly aghast, wondering if it had had a negative effect...  Were the dark people truly cursed with corruption..?  He looked at the rash.  It seemed to have spread slightly, and cracked even worse, skin splitting as a slight amount of blood trailed down his back.  It was drier than ever now...

     Ephas grasped at his shoulder and jumped to his feet, glaring at the Sesthil with an almost incited hatred...  Making him recoil before the hatred melted.  He didn't hold any hatred.  And he could tell that this pain hadn't been the attempted path of Avin's healing...  And his gaze lowered before looking up again.  "...  Can you continue..?"  The Ses-...  Avin looked perplexed at Ephas.  But nodded...  "Why..?  And...  A healer's oath...  Is to do no harm...  I am no healer.  But...  I still must follow it...  It only seems to hurt you..."  

     Ephas shook his head.  "What about helping through harm..?"  Avin tensed...  He didn't know every rule of the healer's codex.  But nodded.  "As long as it doesn't kill you..."  He said as Ephas sat upon the cot and Avin lifted his hand again, the glow returning.  Ephas gritted his teeth for a bit as a slight trail of blood rushed down his back...  And slowly the pain faded.  Though it was still itchy.  Avin stared at the patch and scratched at the side of his neck, unsure of what to think but didn't say anything about it.  "Better..?"  Ephas nodded.  "Still itchy as abaddon but yes..."  

     He reached to his shoulder and scratched at the small patch of scales before letting his linen clothing recover his shoulder.  "Thank y-..."  He suddenly checked again.  Scales?!   His attention was broken though as several bells rang.  Marking approach to land.  And a port of the Abolycan people.  Avin knocked at the door heavily as he began to yell at the one who he heard come down to open the door.  "Open the damned door!  And tell Moris'tal he is going to be taking this up with the captain!"  

     A few quick footsteps and the door opened, the guard keeping their halberd handy  as Avin stepped out, taking a slight glance back at Ephas.  The dark people were just like any other race...  if a bit easy to anger.  They had good ones amongst the many bad...  As the door closed Ephas attention was turned as he looked through the window portal.  The thin slits allowed slight vision.  Though severely cold drafts pushed through them.  It was a miracle he hadn't frozen out on the way here...  In fact.  It was a miracle it was warm in this room at all!  The coast was coated in snow directly next to the ocean...  Huts of stone, wood, and polished adobe.  Many people at the docks to meet and help the refugees settle.

Ephas stayed watching through the slats of the room at the side of the ship.  The scales itched like mad and he had no idea where they'd come from!  Why did he have scales on his back?  Or what felt like scales.  He couldn't see that far back...  But he lowered the thin shirt back down.  No time to trouble over it now...  He had to figure SOMETHING out...  But...  Truthfully he didn't feel much like escaping...  Or even fighting.  They treated him better as a PRISONER than life in the dark lands...   He'd wait and see...

     Ephas shivered in the cold air...  two months he had still been cooped up in that ship...  And now they finally let him out.  And even then only because they were salvaging the ships for materials...  And yet.  Sitting in his little prison.  He was quite content.  A better life as a prisoner of the Sesthil than a citizen of the Dark Race...  But...  Now that he felt the cold through his thin clothing...  He wished he still was in his warm prison room.  The steel bindings over his hands as he was led forwards weighed on him.  But he was fine...  Long as they didn't freeze him out...  

     He looked about.  The Abolycans stood in the streets with heavily bundled Sesthil, trading wares.  The Sesthil definitely weren't just some set of lazy refugees.  They worked for their keep.  The two Sesthil that flanked him stopped though.  And another approached.  He stopped, looking around as the  Sesthil who approached lowered the clothing over their face to reveal.  "Avin!"  He said.  Maybe a little too enthusiastically...  

     "Yes sshh shh...  Don't need to yell...  I have something you might like."  And with that he lifted a key, inserting it into his shackles.  And with a click they fell away.  Ephas flexed his hands.  Didn't fight.  Didn't attack anyone.  Just smiled slightly.  "Most would be surprised by your response...  I am just wondering how you can be so content like this..."  "Life as a prisoner to you is easier than life as a citizen to the dark lands..."  "Oh...  Is that it then..?  We made it easy for you?"  

     Avin laughed before covering back up with the cloth so he wouldn't freeze.  "Life as a prisoner to your people seems like something from a pleasant dream...  To most of us..."  "Aye...  Well.  Follow me before someone questions how well you can handle the cold."  Ephas nodded, following after Avin as he moved with a brisk run to a large reinforced tent.  "Put something on so you don't freeze.  After that.  I am taking you hunting."  Ephas was confused...  They had let him go...  Just like that..?  And now taking him on a hunting run...  "Am I dreaming  Or did I hit my head too hard..."  Avin laughed hysterically at Ephas Reaction but Ephas couldn't stifle laughing as well.  The scales at his back had slightly spread, but, he was fine and dandy.
« Last Edit: December 16, 2012, 08:30:09 am by Asterian Ni'Tari »

The shadows that surround us.

The Plight of a Dragon.  Chapter 2

I...  Might literally be losing my mind...  It's scaring me... ;-;

Offline Verinian

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Re: Cursed Luck (Dark atmosphere and described bloodshed.)
« Reply #2 on: December 05, 2012, 08:59:44 pm »
« Last Edit: December 16, 2012, 08:29:52 am by Asterian Ni'Tari »

The shadows that surround us.

The Plight of a Dragon.  Chapter 2

I...  Might literally be losing my mind...  It's scaring me... ;-;

Offline Wolfish Grin

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Re: Cursed Luck (Dark atmosphere and described bloodshed.)
« Reply #3 on: December 15, 2012, 03:31:28 am »
((Aaaah! DX< Aster, so sorry I hadn't gotten to you sooner! I'd been saying I would comment here and I was so busy and I never did. D8 So sorry about that Aster- BUT I did read it! I had read the entire thing through carefully about a week ago, I just hadn't the time to comment- but I'm here now!

Okay... -deep breaths- Where was I now? Oh yes...

Alright, so as always, Aster, you've delivered yet another original, thought-provoking, and excellently executed piece of writing. c: What I absolutely love about your work is it's sheer... originality -hasnootherwordsforit xD- It's totally unique to your own style; you have the best characters, best plot lines, and best supporting elements in the story. This entire thing just screams 'ASTERIAN NI'TARI' - and that's a great thing! Another thing is that your style brings out a whole new feel... and as you stated in the title 'Dark atmosphere' you were totally right. But, it also gives it a different vibe that I can't quite put my finger on. Definitely dark, and mysterious. Intelligent as well... and something else. Or somethings else.

You really are a great writer, my friend. Although one of the few thing's I'd like to point out is your structure. Your structure is unique to yourself, but.. very different than say... generally normal grammar and literary structure? If that makes any sense? I mean, that's not necessarily a bad thing. It's your own thing, and that's how you do it and I totally love it. The thing is that... hmm how to put this... ._.'' It's not written how, say, the English teachers drill into your head. Prose is supposed to separate every line of dialogue, instead of keeping it all within the same paragraph- as I'm sure you're familiar with? Although, I do believe there are a few exceptions, but I'm not exactly sure what they are so I'm not going to say anything. Again, personally, I like how you've put it like that (although it can be just a tad confuzing who's dialogue is who's after so many lines)... and sorry that I might be coming out a little harsh, I'm just giving some feed back for you. c:

Hmm.. another thing I have to say I love is the names!~ Amg, the names you come up with are probably some of my favorite. They sound so.. exotic. :D I lurve them. If only I could come up with such awesome, original, exotic-sounding names, haha.

At the very beginning, it was a tad confusing what was going on as well, since you jumped right into the thick of things and started throwing spears and blood and dead bodies around (hurr hurr xD)- but that's the way I like it. When authors start off with a battle, and leave most things if not everything uncovered to the reader, it makes them stumble around blindly, wondering what the flidge is going on, but yet something still draws them in and makes them continue on. I know that's exactly what happened to me.~ After reading through more of the story, more is revealed and things start to fall into place more, and on the second chapter I already started getting giddy with... well. Excitement, anticipation... and more, haha. c| 'Dem characters. -cough- Anyways ((please, excuse me random confusingness. I'm just hyper right now and thinking about the story more isn't helping me. xD)), one draw back of the 'jump-right-into-the-middle-of-this-battle-and-not-let-up' kind of plot-thing left me wondering what exactly was going on, and who exactly where these people. Or creatures. I'm still a little confused about the different races, the past, and everything (which you did start to explain more in Chapter 3, so if more is elaborated on that it would greatly clear things up)... but then again, I'm generally a confuzed person. Things tend to just not want to be understood inside my brain. >.>

Okay... what else. OH YES:


"Then shaddap."

OMG. ^This made me laugh so hard. xDD Especially because I imagined this guy all big and muscular and bad-ass, and then he says "...shaddap," and... oh my, it just made me laugh. I don't even know why. x'D

Yeah, so, GREAT job once again, Aster, and I am looking forward to more and more and more of you're writing!~ Keep up the awesomeness! <3
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Offline Verinian

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Re: Cursed Luck (Dark atmosphere and described bloodshed.)
« Reply #4 on: December 16, 2012, 07:20:20 am »
*Listening to footloose*  Thank ye...  Not feeling much like a response right now.  Music is going and words be flowing!

ONe of the next chapters may very well be confusing.  But continue to follow and it should become clear.
« Last Edit: December 16, 2012, 08:21:57 am by Asterian Ni'Tari »

The shadows that surround us.

The Plight of a Dragon.  Chapter 2

I...  Might literally be losing my mind...  It's scaring me... ;-;

Offline Verinian

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Re: Cursed Luck (Dark atmosphere and described bloodshed.)
« Reply #5 on: December 16, 2012, 08:29:30 am »
« Last Edit: December 17, 2012, 07:16:46 pm by Asterian Ni'Tari »

The shadows that surround us.

The Plight of a Dragon.  Chapter 2

I...  Might literally be losing my mind...  It's scaring me... ;-;

Offline Verinian

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Re: Cursed Luck (Dark atmosphere and described bloodshed.)
« Reply #6 on: December 16, 2012, 08:33:38 am »
Fused chapter five into chapter four to make up for length and to lower the choppy feeling.
« Last Edit: December 17, 2012, 07:15:34 pm by Asterian Ni'Tari »

The shadows that surround us.

The Plight of a Dragon.  Chapter 2

I...  Might literally be losing my mind...  It's scaring me... ;-;

Offline Wolfish Grin

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Re: Cursed Luck (Dark atmosphere and described bloodshed.)
« Reply #7 on: December 24, 2012, 02:46:59 am »
Aster!~ c: You did it again! You made another wonderful piece of work that utterly confused me, haha. But it's all good, because it was still awesome.

I'm becoming extremely curious as to what's going to happen. I have some suspicions. And my haunches. I always have haunches. Hurr, hurr, at any rate, keep up the wonderful writing, Aster!

Oh, and by the way, you might want to check the 'Drop the Grenade' thread in the Forum Games.~ c: Hee hee. <3
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Re: Cursed Luck (Dark atmosphere and described bloodshed.)
« Reply #8 on: January 05, 2013, 12:30:09 am »
« Last Edit: January 05, 2013, 12:32:03 am by Asterian Ni'Tari »

The shadows that surround us.

The Plight of a Dragon.  Chapter 2

I...  Might literally be losing my mind...  It's scaring me... ;-;

Offline Verinian

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Re: Cursed Luck (Dark atmosphere and described bloodshed.)
« Reply #9 on: January 05, 2013, 11:04:00 pm »

The shadows that surround us.

The Plight of a Dragon.  Chapter 2

I...  Might literally be losing my mind...  It's scaring me... ;-;