Author Topic: Cursed Luck (Dark atmosphere and described bloodshed.)  (Read 3365 times)

Offline SoaringAway

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Re: Cursed Luck (Dark atmosphere and described bloodshed.)
« Reply #10 on: January 20, 2013, 03:35:02 am »
*u* ;; I should've honestly posted this possibly months ago as to show my appreciation towards the story you've created and have been posting but I never gutted the courage to do so until now.  There is much of your personality and character into your writing from the structure you present which is similar to that of the backwards style sentence structure (which I am very very acquainted with.) Your writing often reminds me of monologue itself that perfectly integrates with the plot and storytelling and this is the sort of aura that is missing within books these days. The author might write but does he truly write with this heart and mind or only the thought?


I have recently referenced your work "Cursed Luck" in the Input Box section of the Forum Discussion in order to bring into light that threads and posts made in Literature of the Offtopic Section goes unnoticed as the post is counted for but it never appears in "Last Post:" in either the topic itself or below on the Index Page. It further proves that much attention is needed for this story as only WolfishGrin has responded.

I apologize for putting this into a post but PM is being a well, -Removed by Moderator-. I cannot put anything forward towards you privately but if you wish for your work to be removed, just tell me and I'll remove it and edit this post so no one would know of the idiocy I have done.

« Last Edit: March 05, 2017, 05:53:40 pm by Kynvuu »

Offline Verinian

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Re: Cursed Luck (Dark atmosphere and described bloodshed.)
« Reply #11 on: January 20, 2013, 12:41:22 pm »
No....  It is fine.  

But yeah.  I have a bug where nobody whatsoever can message me.  Because apparently I do not exist.

It is almost insulting really.  But eh.  I haven't posted up any for a bit because I have a slow wear process.  Can't do too much or I will get bored and lose interest.
« Last Edit: January 20, 2013, 09:11:22 pm by Asterian Ni'Tari »

The shadows that surround us.

The Plight of a Dragon.  Chapter 2

I...  Might literally be losing my mind...  It's scaring me... ;-;

Offline Wolfish Grin

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Re: Cursed Luck (Dark atmosphere and described bloodshed.)
« Reply #12 on: January 30, 2013, 12:21:28 am »
I really need to get around to updating my siggy.
Meh, but that would require effort.

Offline Verinian

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Re: Cursed Luck (Dark atmosphere and described bloodshed.)
« Reply #13 on: March 31, 2013, 09:07:56 pm »
Chapter 7

A simple hunt.

   

     Aracovin hung from a tree branch, raised about 8 feet above the ground, upside down suspended by his legs as he still held his bow.  Though the arrows were scattered on the ground below except for one of them.  He currently was notching the arrow, even from his precarious position.  Reversing his aim due to his position at his target of hunting.  A tundra bore.  He was using steel tips due to it's strong hide and thick layers between it's vitals and his shot.  How he got to this position was another story as he released the arrow which struck deeply into the back of the bore's neck as it grazed on a berry bush.  It let out a squeal, which was cut off as an amount of blood rushed into it's gullet making it choke as it fell over.  It was paralyzed as blood drained from the side of it's mouth.  That was just like him...  unable to make a shot unless it is really, really hard...  

     He just hung there for a bit though now.  His foot caught in the rope trap, and him unable to free it for now.  Finally Oma caught up with him.  First thing she saw was the downed bore.  "Hi there.."  He stated above in an overly bright tone.  She jumped, looking around to the sides before finally looking up at Aracovin.  Suspended in the air by a rope tied about his foot.  "Did you do that on purpose so you could make the shot..?"  "No...  I was just lucky."  He stated sarcastically before she pulled out her knife and cut the rope from it's anchor.  He suddenly fell, but was prepared, ending it in a roll before he started collecting his arrows back.  Even pulling the one  from the bore's neck.  It was still breathing.  Barely.  As Oma offered a small prayer and quickened it's death to ease it's suffering.  One of the others that was out hunting with them for now caught up.  And nodded at the prey.  "Can you manage it..?  I think we're going to keep hunting.  Pick up a few rabbits or such."  The hunter shrugged and nodded at the two young hunters.

     "Sure.  Just don't be out too late...  I'm not vouching for you again with your parents Oma..."  She nodded as he lifted the bore and carried it back off for town.  "What?  I thought we were only out for a big one to-..."  Aracovin was cut off though as Oma kissed him awkwardly...  But he sprang backwards away from her. "What the..?  Did you get into the ghost mushrooms or something..?"  She just blushed and shook her head nervously looking away before kicking at the ground.  Trying to think of an excuse.  "Yeah...  Must have accidentally caught a whiff of spores from mum's garden..."  Before he could question anything though she was off towards town.  "I guess I'd better just get home then before I lose my head and don't know what I'm doing then.  I guess."  She rushed off.  Leaving him standing there puzzled...  What was that about..?





    Eaphiah shivered as he paced back and forth in the study.  Now where was Mesa..?  Third day in a row she had been late...  And not just a little either.  An hour late.  She finally stepped into the room.  And he almost jumped to yelling t her.  But stopped himself, asking with a slight growl in his words.  "Why have you been so late these past few days..?"  "I...  Haven't been following the sleep schedule..."  She yawned.  Eaphias was slightly confused by how openly she had stated such a thing...  "Why..?"  "Because I have been reading a lot...  Probably too much."   She stated.   Seeming barely awake as he sighed.  "Just make sure you are in bed by time tonight..."  She was too tired to contest that with him.  Then again she wouldn't have even if she wasn't tired.  She placed the two books down that she had been almost obsessed with studying for the past month or so.  The two vollumes that had disappeared a long while ago...  

     "Well...  Now that we have two of each I guess you'd may as well just keep them..."  He rolled his eyes and hauled her up by her shoulders, and helped her back to her room.  "Just go to bed..."   He mumbled, leaving maids the books to stowe for Mesa.  He sighed and moved off for the king's sanctum.  He  stopped near the throne, bowing softly to his friend and king.  He sat upon his throne still.  Wearing the same armor.  His eyes opened as Eaphiah spoke.  "It seems your daughter may be a little...  Too interested in history.  She has been losing sleep to read books on history and several vollumes of Penthri Nocto's books on the different races."  

     "Then.  Make sure she at least remains healthy...  In her Ventures...  Her...  New liking of hist...  History might do her well....  To help her avoid these wars we find ourselves in...  A courrier rushed in through the gate. More a crier really as he relayed an unpleasent message to the king. Whose grasp tightened on the arm of his throne enough to run cracks through the solid stone.  "I think it might be time for me to..."  He moved.  Shakily at first.  And pushed himself up.  His  armor hummed softly, as it seemed to breath for his damaged lungs.  "Sit back down...  You are going to injure yourself..."  "Whats a king if he can't help his people in their final time of need..?  If my  kingdom is to fall.  I will go with it.  But I won't let my people go with it..."  

     His armor hid his entire form.  But,  you could almost swear there was a weak hissing to his voice below that armor before he went through a bout of coughing...  "Where is my blade..?"  "Here...  My lord..."  Eaphias lifted the decently sized sheath from it's position a short distance away and brought it.  "Give it....  To Mesa..."  He stated, before taking a guard's weapon and striding out.  His large form still seeming strong even after many, many years alive.  He couldn't move like he used to  but he wasn't intending to live...  That much was sure as he strode from the throne room, the keep.  And eventually he strode the streets of the dark city...  So many people stood on the streets, cowering as they passed. His hands were clenched.  At the poor lives he saw all around, he couldn't do a thing about them though...  His own people, forced from their towns.  Now refugees in the capital.  

     He reached the walls eventually, the guards that stood about there surprised, shocked.  And otherwise frightened as they stumbled in their attempts to salute.  "How're things in the town..?"  He didn't have to ask as he looked out at the bleeding fields around the capitol...  "No better than on the frontline...  My liege..."  "You needn't refer to me like that anymore...  Your queen awaits at the throne room...  Protect her with your lives..."  "Queen..?  King Elhrod?"  He didn't answer the guard's question though.  "Open the gates...  I'm going for a walk..."  "But...  They will be here within the hour..." The guard said,  panicked.  And with obvious reasons worried.  "I know...  Now open the damned gates!"  A very audible hissing in his voice before he coughed heavily.  They finally opened the gates...  And he stepped through.  Alone.  And simply walked off across the fields...  A group of guards rushing to take places by his side after several minutes...  Loyal to any end to their king...  

     But he sent them back.  To any end...  Loyal to his orders...  To protect his people.  To keep his daughter safe.  He marched alone towards an army.  His heart set on one thing only...  He walked for about a few minutes past half an hour before the force noticed the solitary, lone figure.  Their dark visages smiled as howls let out about a feast they would have tonight. By the bulk of the one armored man.  A few of them charged him.  Attempting to swarm him.  His armor began to glow.  Not with light.  But heat.  Glowing red hot from an energy emanating from inside.  And as the first beasts attempted to cling to his shoulders to strike at his neck.  His armor burst.  Fragments sent about as the entire army suddenly turned tail at the figure that had been wearing the armor.  Smiting them down as if the hand of god.  They fled.  

     As the figure stood, unable to catch another breath with it's ravaged lungs.  It watched the greatly reduced force flee in full route.  And it fell.  From the sky, shaking the land with it's bulk as he let out one last cough.  Deeper and louder.  "All this...  For you...  M-...  Mesa."  Using the last air he could pull into his lungs on these words.  He finally stopped.  Motionless where he lay.  Amongst the bodies of his own people the battle the day before.  And those of their enemies...

The shadows that surround us.

The Plight of a Dragon.  Chapter 2

I...  Might literally be losing my mind...  It's scaring me... ;-;

Offline Wolfish Grin

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Re: Cursed Luck (Dark atmosphere and described bloodshed.)
« Reply #14 on: April 01, 2013, 03:52:05 am »
Aster! I'm so glad you continued with your wonderful story! c: And of course, you always write such a beautiful piece of literature!

I have to say that the little story between the hunters Aracovin and Oma (love those names |D) always makes me smile.~ The way you describe your characters is somewhat minimal, yet it delivers a lot of expression and personality in them both. I think it's because a lot of the story is dialogue, and you get to see a lot of each of the character in what they speak.

And it just amazes me that the King went out there all by himself like that! :o
Great job, Aster, keep writing! ^^
« Last Edit: April 01, 2013, 03:53:54 am by WolfishGrin »
I really need to get around to updating my siggy.
Meh, but that would require effort.