Terribly conflicted could use some help

[starthewolf445]

I know roleplay relationships don't exactly last forever and more than likely the person goes inactive and the roleplay just seems to move on from there but I'm talking about a partner in real life whom I have been growing apart from for quite some time.
I sometimes feel like they are avoiding me and to be honest it hurts and we both play Feral heart.
The particular character I'm talking about is one who has a history with said partner's character yet also has a history with another male character.
I don't want to do anything to upset this partner but her character is almost never around and I don't mean to sound a bit harsh or overly indulged in roleplay but it is kinda sad when her pups always ask where their Father is in the roleplay.
Now she and this other male was once the OTP for an older roleplay haha.
And everybody thinks they should still get back together but the thing is I draw my outer feelings heavily away from what my characters are feeling.
And said female character is extremely lonely and often wonders whether or not her Mate just up and left. Now at the same time she's terrified of falling back in love with the other male not because he abused her or anything and they moved past their past issues, in fact they were Teenage sweet hearts.
She's afraid of falling back in love with him because she doesn't want to hurt her other love who has made some questionable mistakes in their relationship. I wont say what but cheating is not one of them....however you could say that the mistakes would have the same affect as cheating though this happened long ago but the way my character is designed she tends to be very self conscious.
Maybe I'm overthinking this but if someone claims "Rights" To your characters in the sense as they belong to my character is it wrong to have your character slowly look towards another if they are never on. And I'm not talking for a couple days or weeks I'm talking months and maybe even a year. I follow the code that the flow of time within a roleplay does not stop for anyone and thus of course actions are going to happen and it's just a little saddening that her pups always seem to grow up with an absent Father.
I hold deep care for my characters as some of them are inspired by dear friends who have passed. This is my way of somehow giving them a happy ending when their own ends weren't all that happy.
So any ideas on how I should vent her feelings out ?

[TheProphet]

I can't help but feel as if I've seen you in the game before.....
Maybe I have maybe I haven't xD
However nevertheless I am here to answer a question. Now many people here would merely tell you to stop taking so much interest in the life of mere computer data that's molded,marked, and colored to our delighting. But as you said you have a special bond with your characters, something that makes them alive and such a thing is not easy to find. Nowadays they are all mostly generic and many people may cry over their departure at the end of their years whether it be long or short it is all by our sadistic hand but many would not think of considering them as actual family as I've seen you mention in your previous post.
From what you've been telling me it appears that this so called partner could possibly have a narcissistic disorder or perhaps maybe even a possession problem if they claim that your characters will always be paired with their own yet they can't find the time to properly treat them as mates through simply roleplay? I highly doubt that such a person is always busy and even if they are with another group I'm sure whisper roleplay wouldn't hurt...have you suggested such a thing?
I would highly suggest doing what you think is best for your characters If someone is not willing to properly show up at least once every month or so then are they really worth the heart ache she is going through?

[starthewolf445]

Thank you ^^ though I would like to hear what other people have to say it appears as if what you had said appears to be rather reasonable. I always find it offensive when people judge the way you roleplay or how seriously you take it. As long as you're keeping yourself fed and your education up to check everything should be accepted.

[GlaydrChyle]

I personally believe your strong in-depth emotions to be very compassionate. As @TheProphet mentioned. If I could take a personal gamble at this situation, I'd say to myself "What would happen in real life?"

Despite the characteristics of an in-game society being used, is that society all too different from reality? It is why I always use role-playing to help my actions of judgement outside the realms of an internet server. Very handy as well if you are a person with high emotional values towards individual characters, such as yourself. With that being said, these emotions will derive from deep down in yourself- as most often one character will represent one of your traits and that is why some people are so heart-bound connected to them.

So back on to the subject of the matter, I'll go ahead and list what the Law would inquire.

In the UK it is not classed as adultry if:
-The partner had left and had been gone for X amount of years
- The partner was some way aggressive or abusive to the other partner
-One partner exhibited acts of violence upon a child/Adolescent of the same gene's ( See The European Acts on the Conventions of the Rights of Child)

However, in my opinion. I personally believe if what you've said is correct. Then it'd be in your hands to decide to move on (With best results being to find a male carer for your pups.) But that is what I would do.

And if you do so end up meeting with that person again, you can kindly explain to them why your actions came to be. And don't forget that harassment is not okay; if you become so then kindly contact an Admin to alert them of the situation privately and then they can help sort out any conflicts

Hope this helps deary! Have fun and continue role-playing!

[hugrf2]

Just jumping in to let you know I know exactly how you feel, I believe. My special shapeshifter character named Exxy has had his girlfriend inactive for at least a year or to him, more. It's very painful and at this point I'm scared to see what'll happen. I could ramble on and on about how I feel now that I found someone who finally understands, and boy am I thankful I did. Yay more people 8D

I encourage you to try to move on best you can, as was already stated although I agree with it completely. This person hasn't even told you anything about why they were gone, right? And even if it was something like their computer dying or some carp, I don't doubt they've moved on since it's been a year or so by now.

I /DO/ realize it's hard to do, but at least try?

I completely agree with Chyle, though, and I think you should follow his advice although it's similar to mine. But I'm just adding on, haha x3 I'm sorry if I seemed a little mean!

[starthewolf445]

I appreciate anyone for their advice xD
The situation is a bit hard because said person hasn't exactly moved on yet they are just entirely devoted to roleplay after new roleplay and the problem is that I don't think they'd take it very well if she were to move on.
However I have thought about what you all have said especially the comment of what thinking about what would happen in real life and say this were my daughter instead of a character. I'd honestly want her to be with someone that would look after her.
Usually the mates my other charries had who has had their users involved with other groups found a way to be with them at least once or twice a week or even a month.
However I thank those who have given me help so far but I am open for more opinions as to what I should do
I'm afraid to say I'm honestly a bit submissive talking to them about these type of issues because of past events.

[GlaydrChyle]

Submissive in what way dear?

From my point of view it'd be pointless of me to explain again,-since my views and opinions are based on Shy dominance-

So if I was put in your shoes for the day...

I'd firstly ask. "Is the way I'm feeling okay?" Does the situation place you at a point where you feel trapped? Because if this is the case I would most likely seek help from another member, whom you feel you could trust to come and try to speak to you two. However you can feel safe to know that these sorts of feelings are okay, and this situation happens a lot. I'm most certain many can agree with me upon the bases of Mate cheating and all that Jaz.

Perhaps your "Daughters" in game could help you? and Help explain to this other person why what they are doing is causing discomfort?

[starthewolf445]

I suppose by submissive I mean I'm very reluctant to talk to said person about these issues.
They are EXTREMELY sensitive in more ways than one towards this type of internal conflict and I'm afraid they'll try to twist the feelings of my characters towards how I feel towards them which is not true at all.
I admire that they care so much about my characters but I feel like if they actually were willing to commit to them as a full mate then they would at least drop a whisper every once in a while when they're online to see how they are doing. Not only that but when something big happens in roleplay especially towards said character they are paired with they often respond in a negative manner making comments of how I seemed be trying to "Move on." and that they bet I'm just "Forgetting" about them and stuff. Which isn't the case at all, one side of me would love to roleplay with them again but the other side of me is afraid they'd try to manipulate my characters into feeling horrible for feeling unloved and lonely while they are barely on which is usually what happens. Not sure if this is a form of abuse towards my characters or not but they certainly are possessive over them.

[TheProphet]

It sounds to me as if you're being trapped in.
Perhaps this person has some serious emotional issues and you're afraid that they may flip if you even consider moving on?
I know it can be hard and I know it can be scary but you must have the courage to tell said person that your characters have their own free will and can decide what they want to do whether you influence the decision of roleplay or not. Since you claim to love them as separate beings then there is no reason for the person to be angry at you because realistically these characters are making decisions on how they're reacting towards being abandon by their mate.

[starthewolf445]

Thank you everybody for the lovely advice.
I'm afraid I just received some disturbing news about said person.
Now I realize that perhaps it is never a good idea to stay with someone if they don't really give a hoot about you or your characters. I know that now and I plan on never making the same mistake again.
To avoid further contact I have learned that literally a lot of my characters have been left without active mates for a while as it had been months and even years since I RPED with them. I have decided to have them move on with their lives.
For those who are more loyal hopefully they find a male and or a female that can treat them right.
I thank each and every one of you for your helpful replies as I know topics like this are usually seen as a useless matter to think about.
Hopefully we all can find those who will care for our charries just as much as we care about them.