Author Topic: ? Princess of Darkness ?  (Read 1373 times)

Offline Skrillexx

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? Princess of Darkness ?
« on: April 27, 2013, 11:20:45 am »
? Princess of Darkness ?
Warning
This story will contain some strong language. I'm warning you because I am not adding any *'s. It sometimes can contain some gore that I don't plan to make.. Not gorey. So tough luck.

I'd also like to thank Thrillex for the Roleplaying Word Guide, it helps. =3

Chapter 1

The cub trotted out of the large cave, onto the giant balancing rock, "Hurry up, Mashaka!" She yelled after her younger sister as she stumbled out of the cave to her sister "I'm coming!" She snapped, annoyed of her sister's impatience, slowly their mother walked out of the cave, "Kika, you need to learn to be more patient with you sister. She isn't the fastest cub in the world, now is she?" The queen spoke softly as she looked down at the cub, "Sorry.." She murmured, "Good girl," She smiled at her "Now, why don't you find the other cubs?" She smiled as the king walked out yawning loudly, "Okay mum, bye. Come on Mashaka." She smiled, trotting down and running to the cubs, "Did we really make the right decision for the next queen..?" The king mumbled "Kaburi don't be ridiculous.. Of.. Of course we did." She sighed as she watched the cubs run off.

Chapter 2

The two princesses noticed the cubs near the gorge and raced over, "Hey guys!" Kikatili chirped, "Oh hey Ki--" The dark cub stopped in the middle of the sentence and groaned "Uuuuuugh! Why did you bring her?!" She snapped, "Maana! Shes my sister, why shoudn't I?" She growled, as a male cub walked to Maana's side "Still, shes so weak and she can barely run. More of a snail than lion." Kupoteza sniggered, "Shut up." Mashaka snarled, "Oh no! The weak little cub is gonna hurt me!" Mashaka growled again and attempted to roar, but all it sounded like was a squeak, the three other cubs started to laugh loudly, "Is this an example of a mouse or is she serious?!" Kupoteza cackled, "SHUT UP!" She yelled biting him and 'accidentally' shoving him into the gorge "AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The cub screamed as a spalt was heard, then a cry of pain. Mashaka's eyes showed a immense amount of fear, she slowly crept over, peering over the edge where he had fell, she almost puked. He was impaled in a spike down in the gorge, his blood splattered everywhere, she backed up from the edge "M..Mashaka..? What.. What did you do..?!" He sister stuttered in fear, Mashaka was literally stuck to the ground now she gazed up at her sister, "What did you do?!?" She yelled, Mashaka burst into tears and she hid her face in her paws, the other cubs ignored her sobbing and looked over the edge, Kikatili was the last to look "MASHA--..." She yelled but stopped to see her sister sobbing and running off in fear. "Nice sister, asshole." Maana growled.

Awoken.

Offline Larka98

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Re: ? Princess of Darkness ?
« Reply #1 on: April 27, 2013, 03:51:32 pm »
This is an alright story, and for some advice I'd set the scene a little, not just 'accidentally pushes into the gorge'. Other then that, I will be continuing reading this, keep it going!
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Offline Skrillexx

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Re: ? Princess of Darkness ?
« Reply #2 on: April 27, 2013, 04:41:51 pm »
This is an alright story, and for some advice I'd set the scene a little, not just 'accidentally pushes into the gorge'. Other then that, I will be continuing reading this, keep it going!

Thanks for the advice, I'll keep that in mind =3

Awoken.

Offline Larka98

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Re: ? Princess of Darkness ?
« Reply #3 on: April 27, 2013, 05:06:22 pm »
No problem ^.^
Old school retired player who occasionally comes in for a peek