An Honest Rant

[DraconiaHeart]

Honestly...I understand exactly what you mean.
I know I may seem very petty, and horrid for saying this, but I have been in those shoes before. I have wished to help this community to genuinely help them, but have been trampled all over for those who wish to keep their reputation higher than another persons. It bothers me greatly, and honestly angers me to no end. I know for many years I had been a stepping stool for many people I once thought were my friends. I have stuck my neck out for them many of times on my much older accounts. So much has happened in my past to where rumors even accumulated, and began to rip at me because of so many people trying to look good, and blame some of their actions on the nearest person they see as a perfect scapegoat.

I have been in those shoes way too many times, and honestly I had cried to many times just for feeling like I was betrayed by friends. So honestly reading this made me happy to know someone else realized like I did how fake some users can be. I know many may hate me for saying this right now, and many might wish me gone or to silence my maw. Though honestly...this is something that is going on in the community that seems to be the number one things everyone wishes to cover up. I know a good amount of users in my head right now who are the most insincere people since they were ones who had stepped all over me or good friends of mine. So I thank you for posting this. You basically blatantly said what I have felt, and watched in the community. We have the genuine good, and the ones with kitsune masks running about in the community. People who wish to be something bigger so they hide their true colors playing tricks on us, and blinding us to who they really are. So I thank you for posting up what has been weighing on my own heart for so very long.

[Bawfle]

I feel like everyone's just kissing up to everyone and acting super unnaturally nice, but with no sincerity whatsoever; and the bulk of the community just seems fake to me.
Now, I know what all of you reading are thinking. People are being nice? What's wrong with that? Well, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being polite, or telling white lies, or being friendly. It's just that, the community is based on who can butter up the nicest, and not on other actual good people who may just be too shy or blunt to make a super huge deal and compliment everyone on every little thing. I've seen users with an absolute heart of GOLD been completely overshadowed, regarded as "unfriendly" or "distant," and sometimes even some... rude things in private just because they aren't stereotypically outgoing. This really bothers me to no end.

And yes, I am aware that much of this community is young and the like, but still, if everyone is constantly slammed with compliments and praise, and being blown up for something, then no one's truly special; and it's extremely unfair to people who do something just as well, maybe even better, than those glorified members, but receive little to moderate attention for their dedication. Many of you probably think "well jeez, Twisted, you're just jealous because so and so didn't get as much attention as so and so."
I will admit, I am slightly biased, as many friends of mine were overshadowed in such a way, but this isn't the issue, but a factor in the pic picture.

Honey I agree on certain aspects of this rant as well. It does seem harsh, yes, though it happens everywhere in fact and not just this community alone. Is it ever going to stop? No, sadly it isn't. Is there a way to stop it? Ehhh not really. I completely understand what it is like to be used for what you're talented for, and who you are or what you may do which gtabs people's attention. There are it's goods, but there are also it's bads, such as realising you've met someone who only wanted to be greedy and selfish.

Honestly dear, learning that you meet people like this in communities is part of life. It is how generations and how the world brought people up. It's more leaning towards the nurture debate. It is, however, lovely to feel appreciated for what you're being noticed for and only a fool will let a person into their circle and allow them to take advantage of that. All we can do is be there for anyone who has been taken advantage of in terms of so called butt kissing and suck-ups. Those who will do anything to get what they want. Trust me, I know a few people. In fact, everyone does.

Sometimes people just do this to fit in with the crowd, and so it grows into a trend in some ways. Take real life for example, females are addicted to Mac make-up purely because it's expencive and what you wear is how you fit into the world. It's just how the insecure work in these kind of nerdy gaming communities. There are so many golden people out there who are currently shy to welcome themselves in, sure, but take it from my view and what I have experienced. They eventually bloom.

Now, this big picture, as I mentioned before in the blunt point, is that people don't seem genuine. I am aware this is the internet, and it is difficult to properly decipher tone or feeling through text alone, but still; it can give off some mixed feelings if someone is everyone's sweetheart in public, but rude and or selfish when actually spoken to in a one on one. I personally have been talked down to or "shut up" and "yessed" to death by people I once considered kind.
The thing is, as difficult as it is to get truly caught up and interested in a strictly internet topic, no one seems to care about actual issues users may have and are mentioning, or something they are proud of, but try to act like they're suddenly best friends or glorify the member for the sake of a good reputation. Now this is scarcely viewed as a bad thing at first. It's good to keep up a generally positive reputation, and that is achieved through being kind and considerate, especially to those who need it. It's the right thing to do, right? Well, sometimes a good action for the wrong action could also classify as a bad action, even if only subliminally.
Now, I will admit, I am guilty of this on occasions, but as someone who's been through many of the same issues that people may have, and I'd feel better knowing that I've helped someone. However, many of the people who offer to be a shoulder to cry on are empty offers to seem like they care, however, many I know have been blatantly rejected by those who offered advice or a "safe place" to talk. I know some things are too personal, but if someone truly needs to vent; why offer to comfort them if you're just going to brush them away like it's nothing in private? The answer is simple. Reputation. Everyone just pretends to care about everyone to the ends of the earth when they really couldn't give a rats backside about whether or not the person will benefit, and it's very selfish and it bothers me.

Sadly nowhere is completely safe. We are gonna have the odd bad behaved members here and there, but that is why we have wonderful members of the community to help fight away the darkest members, as well as some great members of staff. It is also expected to see people reply to threads with some of the most simplest of things, though some may just see it to get post counts higher-- but do remember that not all boards count posts for this exact reason. Some users and members of the community actually post simple things to make someone happy or feel noticed. Like how someone might not find a topic interesting but they'll post anyway because no one is replying to it. Therefore, making a thread poster very happy.

A lot of people aquire a reputation, but again, at the end of the day it is what shows us who the good eggs and bad eggs are. It's great that you got things off your chest in this rant, and I'm happy that you avoided trying to offend anyone or use that type of content in that matter. It is nice to have a breather but I hope what I said helps you understand a few things and opens your eyes. Not just your eyes, but other people's eyes too.

[Skat]

I had happened to see this and I agree 100% on this
I just want to share a little bit of my opinion if that is allowed of course
I kinda mini-vent too while leaning on your words on this too so do not mind me please, I am just following the post XD sorry if I jump out of the topic at times but the whole convo here is spicy XD

If you care to hear me out keep reading my wayward children

I agree that most of the people pretend to be all nice for reputation and stuff and I hate it when this happens but sometimes when someone snaps at you they may had a bad day? I mean, according to my standards, I have my momments when I am really angry because something had upset me in real life and I end up being very cold to some people at times without meaning to while I am trying to keep my cool because I do not want to burst my problems out. I am talking as an example of myself of course, idk what others are doing or how they react and if they do it daily I am just saying you may have missunderstood them because something had happened to them? Of course I am nobody to talk since I didn't know the scene, just saying.

But yeah whoever pretends to be a sweetheart just for fame then begins to be a jerk on whispers or on one-on-one chats well shame on them ;\

Now about the people that are covered behind the shadows or as you have said, I do agree with you that the people that are made out of Gold are hidden  and ignored because many unworthy people jump out in the surface but, on their side, have you asked them if they wanted to be found?

I am not a Golden person but I can tell it took me alot of time to acctually show up on the site because I am, even as a werido, a pretty awkward and shy person and I do not like much attention so when someone is giving too much care at me, unless they are my girlfriend, a close friend or a family member I find it a little bit odd and uncomftable. Yet nice to everyone because I want to and I feel like it not because I want to catch their sympathy. And there are many people like that, I am pretty sure you had mentioned about this above, and they are just scared on insecure of comming in the opening.

Some people do not like fame and reputation because they know that it is gonna puff their brains up and forget who their real friends are. I have seen this happening  in real life mostly but  I am hypothesizing this is what happens here as well.

Maybe the people who are really and truly nice do not want to come out in the surface because they know the people who will approach them will come to them for fame?


Fame is not the answer. Just be yourself nothing else. Vitrual people are real people behind the screen too and they deserve to be gained something real even through a game.
So do not really be bothered by not being in the surface apparently you were meant for something better, which means something real

I am a nobody but if you ask me I prefer having one real friend instead of million fake ones that will dumb you the next day because I am not famous.

[ShiaLabeouf]

instead of trying to offer a blatant "i agree with you 100% yada yada yada" regurgitation post, tying into that fame thing- anyone else ever noticed like for as long as the FH forums have existed, there's always the same three self righteous dirt bags who comment on literally every new post's existence just to add some stupidly mundane comment like "aww, sad " on a HELP THREAD?

[ArcticGalaxy]

Honestly can't say I've ever really seen that in my time being here. But I'm sure it has happened.

[LordSuragaha]

instead of trying to offer a blatant "i agree with you 100% yada yada yada" regurgitation post, tying into that fame thing- anyone else ever noticed like for as long as the FH forums have existed, there's always the same three self righteous dirt bags who comment on literally every new post's existence just to add some stupidly mundane comment like "aww, sad " on a HELP THREAD?

Whether or not you decided to censor out the individuals you're referring to I still find it rather distasteful that you would refer to anyone in this community as "self righteous dirt bags"... It's not the kind of terminology I'd like to see thrown around in this community as it only makes the one saying such things look terribly rude and it paints this community out in a negative light if such harsh labeling was allowed to be acceptable regardless of the circumstance.

Let's try to keep the discussion mature and respectable regardless of your stance on the topic.

 

Needless to say there are and will always be people, both here on our boards and outside in other circumstances, that will do things for their own personal benefits rather than for the overall good and well being of the majority. None of this is some new trend. It's unfortunate if people are falsely recognized and encouraged when their intentions are anything but pure, however I saw it mentioned a few times that those who deserve praise never get it while those who don't do.

When you're off doing good deeds for the sake of doing good deeds you never stop once to consider the pay off for your actions, nor do you act as though you are deserving of such, you are simply happy to help whether you get "paid off, recognized etc" or not. If you're feeling some how unappreciated it was because you expected something in the beginning and that in itself is making the person no more different than those who do things for the sake of some kind of personal benefit. What should matter is that you are happy to help and find joy in helping others even if they reciprocate it or not.

I don't like the idea of people assuming others are posting "overly nice" posts or "helping" for the sake of attention or personal benefit either. There may be people reading this thread who will be discouraged from being genuinely nice etc because they're afraid people, like those who responded here, may mistake them as "fake" or "attention/ reputation" seeking.

[Ruby1234]

Needless to say there are and will always be people, both here on our boards and outside in other circumstances, that will do things for their own personal benefits rather than for the overall good and well being of the majority. None of this is some new trend. It's unfortunate if people are falsely recognized and encouraged when their intentions are anything but pure, however I saw it mentioned a few times that those who deserve praise never get it while those who don't do.

When you're off doing good deeds for the sake of doing good deeds you never stop once to consider the pay off for your actions, nor do you act as though you are deserving of such, you are simply happy to help whether you get "paid off, recognized etc" or not. If you're feeling some how unappreciated it was because you expected something in the beginning and that in itself is making the person no more different than those who do things for the sake of some kind of personal benefit. What should matter is that you are happy to help and find joy in helping others even if they reciprocate it or not.

I don't like the idea of people assuming others are posting "overly nice" posts or "helping" for the sake of attention or personal benefit either. There may be people reading this thread who will be discouraged from being genuinely nice etc because they're afraid people, like those who responded here, may mistake them as "fake" or "attention/ reputation" seeking.

((This is going to be less about specifically this forum and people here, but still applies in general.))

I understand where you're coming from.
I do believe that yes, those who help out of pure intention do not do it for any sort of praise or reward.

But there is a breaking point. You can only do so much for people before you realise how one-sided things can become. If you allow things to lean too far one way, suddenly everyone is expecting everything from you. It can be so damaging, trying to keep up with these newfound expectations.

Sometimes, it's just hard to be selfless when you're helping the selfish. It can only go on for so long. And I know it's something we've all experienced and felt.
At some point you take a look at the situation and realise; I've given this, this, this, and this, when are you going to at least return the favour?
Life is all about give and take, but I don't think for a second that it's wrong for people who've done nothing but give to want to take every now and then.

As for people who may be reading this thread, I don't want anyone to be discouraged, and I'm sure that's not what anyone was going for (I hope). Helping each other is of course, a good thing. That's not what anyone is trying to prevent.
Anyone reading knows their intentions. They know if they have an ulterior motive.
Those people should maybe take something from this thread.

A community isn't a ladder. People shouldn't be so worried with trying to climb to the top. Respect is earned, it's not a given right to people they might see as "at the top."
A community is about the ties between people. We form bonds, and a lot of it comes from helping each other. That is in no way a bad thing, and I never want to make it out to be.

I just hope to see people settle down a bit, sometimes.
You try climbing too fast, you might fall off.

[Kuri]

*shrug* Always a bright side.  At least the social climbers on here are positive, on heaps of forums they are negative nancys who put everyone down 24/7 (it's like they're spam bots who don't sleep) and never say anything remotely useful and newbies leave in fear of them.

That's what i like about this place, no matter how misplaced posts get, 99.99% of them are well intended.   <--  look a smily face on the end to explain how positive this is supposed to be

[Enoki]

Its because everyone here are all - c:

Excuse you? This is a family friendly game and I'm sure no one here appreciates that foul language. Refrain from posting such things or I'm sure the staff will not be happy.

[ritat]

To be honest, I agree too. I wanted to post something like this 1 year ago, but I felt that it would ruin my image for some reason. I sometimes also do get the feeling that people are a bit fishy, that's why I try to distant myself but always try to give a hand. I always prefer to be the silent type who does good deeds. Before I even saw your post, I stared around the site for a few minutes and thought, "people have never been this nice around here, what's happened?", but I'm not sure if it's linked to this. The point is, that I have felt what you are feeling for my entire life, but I was too afraid to speak up because of the abuse that people have given me... physical....mental... it's heart breaking. I'm just glad you posted this, and too finally get people understanding the truth.