Which unfinished stories shall live? (Please read the post before voting)

[SoaringAway]

*Peeping in.* Hello, dears! Just came in to elaborate on what BouncyLion101 picked up.

"The cat scoffs at this."

The structure is already fine as you've identified the subject (cat) and the verb but when you go to "this," this already is confusing. What IS she scoffing at? Because they're a different breed of wild cats? Because of what they're doing? Because she can't have that life style? There is nothing wrong grammatically but rather with syntax. If keeping up with this form of writing, it'll end up confusing readers (not all) and they might come up with their own skeptic thoughts.

(P.S.: I will be editing this though :3 )

[catsanddogsandbirds]

Well, the cat's scoffing at the fact that the other cats are fat and happy. I'll try to make that more clear, though, like I said, it's only the description >.< But thanks, Soar.

[catsanddogsandbirds]

-bump-

[catsanddogsandbirds]

bump

[YouheiSunohara24]

I like The Spotted Ones. :3 It's epical... I ish a cat lover, soooo... XDDD

[catsanddogsandbirds]

Thanks for commenting, Mello!

[YouheiSunohara24]

X3