This has been simmering in my brain for far too long.
The amount of reasons making me want to leave are too many to count, so I’ll try and be brief.
I’ve been here for about, man, three or more years, coming on four when 2017 rolls around.
So I’ve seen a bunch of crap happen here, and I’ve seen a bunch of changes, from General being removed, Staff coming, going, coming back, leaving, etc, the Tumblr FH Blogging discourse, and so on and so forth.
Friends have joined and left, and some have faded from existence entirely.
The reason I’m leaving now is because, well, I’ve lost interest entirely in this game, community, and anything involving Feral Heart.
It’s become something I really cannot enjoy, or really have much appreciation for. It’s turning into an echo-chamber, a hugbox, a self-propelling-cycle-of-‘love and tolerance’, without much genuine meaning behind such actions and words.
Everyone wants to be the ‘nicest’ git around, and well, I haven’t seen much of that actually meaning anything. Everyone throws around lovey-dovey phrases and words like candy, to boost their own reputations, and would rather hear what they want than what they need to hear.
Honesty is a dead policy in the land of ‘you’re great’. Truly, I cannot really get behind this, but then again, perhaps it’s just me being a ‘mean, spiteful, attention seeking’ person.
I’ve not made many friends here, Staff, Member, or otherwise, but those I have made have impacted my life in some good, and some bad ways. All in all, my experience here has been, well, a waste in my opinion.
Even my mother has agreed, Feral Heart has not been good to me. Even when I tried to be helpful, tried to be kind, compassionate, funny, friendly, and considerate, I would somehow fail.
I searched for something that simply wasn’t there, and I now realize this full force.
I cannot be what people want me to be, and when I first realized this, I became bitter, and… Unkind. My reputation as a FH Blogger exists for a reason, and I suppose it’s my own fault that I’m not liked in the community. Then again, I have differing opinions than most, so maybe there’s more to it than just not being the stereotypical friendly furry or whatever you call it.
I guess my leaving is a result of my own, ah, hubris as it were.
My own ‘toxicity’ brought about my demise, but it didn’t take much for that. This community, if I may be blunt, is not the greatest I’ve ever been in. Yes it’s the longest, far as I know, but it was all for naught.
I’ve accomplished nothing of value, and I’ve achieved nothing.
I remember striving to be the best that there ever was here when I first joined, maybe even become a Staff when I was older, or more accepted by the community.
That hope was dashed and beaten nearly, and then finally to death not too long ago.
My fate has been sealed like a vault, and I’m now accepting it.
So, I bid you all adieu, and as a certain Hobbit once said,
“I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.”
So, farewell.
I hope, and I wish to never return to this place, unless it changes so drastically that I cannot bear to stay away.
Also, this does mean I’m leaving all of my Groups, including Yugure, Kurudisha, etc. I’ll stay on those forums, perhaps, or the Skype groups, but FeralHeart in general?
Forget it.
did this post actually get deleted or what
