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Leaving / one chance to say goodbye
« on: June 22, 2021, 10:31:10 am »
hi, i realize my goodbye post is moreso 5-7 years late, but i felt i could really do with the closure because there isn't a time where my mind drifts back to the old state of this game. my name is noah. i first started playing this game about 8 or so years ago. some of you may have known me as ciel (from TEC, TKC) or biohazard from the impressive title and feralheart community a long time ago. i was more known in the impressive title server community. it is sadly dead now. this game has held a very large place in my heart, i remember browsing the internet and stumbling into feralheart videos and begging my parents to let me play it on their pc, which barely ran. but nonetheless, i was so happy. this kickstarted my love for mmorpgs and to this day, i still play them. (i play on ffxiv hi!) and in a way this community is what lead me along my path to coming out as what i truly am: a boy. from pretending to be a boy on the internet, from making male characters, to trying to "act" like a boy so people never found out i was a girl at the time, were very huge indicators back then that i'm glad i realize now. and i'm so thankful feralheart was the mmo that helped me realize this finally, at 20 years old. whenever i see how this game has become now, i become very sad to see that it has died and been reduced to this low of a population. there was a time when there was more than 1000 players on at even the most dead times of the night. i remember when people could be their cringey selves and we all just had fun. feralheart was a place where i could feel safe, it was my escapism from a hard life at the time. and to this day, the memories and people i met on this game have given me the strength to continue. and since it held such a huge part of my heart and my life, i want to say goodbye -- properly.
to everyone in TEC/TKC/BL that might be reading this, i want to thank you for being my friends and talking to me when at the time i had no one. i was very young, but i never told anyone my real age. i'd been with you guys since i was really young and i always thought all of you were so cool, i looked up to you and i still do in many ways. you hold most of my cherished memories on this game. you are very special to me and i think of all of you more than you know whenever i have darker days. there was one day in south pole, i was very lonely and sick of taking the treatment from my ex. i considered taking my life, yet i never told anyone. but you guys talking to me and keeping me company stopped me that day. i will always remember that.
to bullet, we may have not of ended on the best of notes from what i remember, and i want to apologize for the way i was when i was younger. you were very kind to me and i will never forget that kindness. i haven't in these past several years, either.
to fatal, my best friend and even my girlfriend at some point, you were one of the most special people in my life and every memory i have of you is so special, yet so far away. if you are somehow reading this i hope you are having a happy and healthy life and are getting what you want and more.
to lacey, and silver, we may not talk anymore but i also remember all of our times together. all four of us were the best of friends and i wish it could've lasted forever. please be happy and well in life.
to everyone else, it's time for me to finally move on. goodbye, and thank you for the fond memories, feralheart. i will dearly miss the mate and parent begging in general chat. and i will dearly miss my characters.
however, goodbyes aren't forever. you can still keep up with me on my twitter, or if you play ffxiv maybe we can even get to know each other. and to make this less depressing, new beginnings happen too. here is my oc that i have made based off of ocs i've had in the past, that have lead up to a personal, and unique aesthetic.
to everyone in TEC/TKC/BL that might be reading this, i want to thank you for being my friends and talking to me when at the time i had no one. i was very young, but i never told anyone my real age. i'd been with you guys since i was really young and i always thought all of you were so cool, i looked up to you and i still do in many ways. you hold most of my cherished memories on this game. you are very special to me and i think of all of you more than you know whenever i have darker days. there was one day in south pole, i was very lonely and sick of taking the treatment from my ex. i considered taking my life, yet i never told anyone. but you guys talking to me and keeping me company stopped me that day. i will always remember that.
to bullet, we may have not of ended on the best of notes from what i remember, and i want to apologize for the way i was when i was younger. you were very kind to me and i will never forget that kindness. i haven't in these past several years, either.
to fatal, my best friend and even my girlfriend at some point, you were one of the most special people in my life and every memory i have of you is so special, yet so far away. if you are somehow reading this i hope you are having a happy and healthy life and are getting what you want and more.
to lacey, and silver, we may not talk anymore but i also remember all of our times together. all four of us were the best of friends and i wish it could've lasted forever. please be happy and well in life.
to everyone else, it's time for me to finally move on. goodbye, and thank you for the fond memories, feralheart. i will dearly miss the mate and parent begging in general chat. and i will dearly miss my characters.
however, goodbyes aren't forever. you can still keep up with me on my twitter, or if you play ffxiv maybe we can even get to know each other. and to make this less depressing, new beginnings happen too. here is my oc that i have made based off of ocs i've had in the past, that have lead up to a personal, and unique aesthetic.