Starting of... don't know if this is the right place to put this, so if it isn't please move it x3
Anyways, getting back to things, I needed to rant at myself for a few minutes. So here's the thing, I do not seem able to hold myself to my word, and always go back on. Which is one of the things that I drive myself nuts with, and borderline hate myself about. Because there have been certain times that I realize I need to do something but I always end up back tracking on it, and I really need to stop. I need to start pushing myself to stand firm in my words, and deal with whatever the consequences are instead of trying to weasel out of them, especially with my emotions, I have a small problem... ok a huge problem with feeling guilty, I absolutely hate this feeling, whenever I feel this, I do whatever I can to relieve it from myself, and sometimes, that doesn't work, but for some reason I always end up getting out of it, and not having to deal with it. Which is OK, for me, because I don't have to deal with the feeling, but I need to deal with it because there is going to be a time in the future when I do something and the person I did it to won't forgive me, and I feel unbearably guilty, what am I going to do then? So I guess what I'm really getting at with my rambling is, I need to hold myself accountable and deal with the consequences instead of shying away. So I'm saying it here, from now I am going to push myself and deal with whatever my actions cause instead of attempting to get out of it, and my friends, I really want you to read this part (they all know who they are), if you see me trying to get out of something, please, don't let me do it, hold my feet to the fire and make me deal with it. No matter what happens. <--- probably going to regret saying that. .D.
Anyways, I'm glad I got that out of my system, I feel kinda better now.
