Roleplay

[_Rache_]

I am currently a 'Literate' roleplayer. I, in my opinion, am almost on the edge to being an Extreme Literate roleplayer. I have been trying to transfer to be an Extreme Literate, except I am struggling. I believe my vocabulary is excelled, and contain the other essential skills to being Literate. I think my struggle is the structure overall. Here is a sample of a...fairly long post:
Vinzenz trekked through the forest, his slick appendages fluently gliding his frail anatomy up the horrendous hills that made the terrain displeasing to walk on. As usual, belligerent intentions flustered the hessian's mind towards each creature he encountered. The hackles of thick fur on his spine turned jagged as they rose as his azure occuli locked cold with a felidae nearby. Faint growls rumbled from the back of his throat as his obesidean, leathery lubia curved into a ferocious snarl, unveiling crimson stained ivories that merely trickled with hot saliva.

Hope that was alright. Well, there was a sample. How do you think I can transfer?

[Kerriki]

I saw some wolfspeak in that rp sample, so you may want to look into that. That's probably what is holding you back from becoming one of those "extreme literates".

[Vespian]

Interesting roleplay sample, sir. However, if you truly wish to become even more skilled in the arts of such literature, first thing to do is know what terms you're using and what they actually mean. If you don't, you'll be criticized and labelled as a 'wolfspeaker'. Besides, why use terms that mean little to nothing to what you actually refer to it as? The result will be a confused reader.

If you wish to enhance your vocabulary, look here. It'll help you use terms that are of the English language and make sense.

If you wish to enhance your anatomy, I'd pull up a reference via Google such as this one for example.

Just remember, roleplay is similar to a story book. It'd be nothing but a waste of your time to sound as intricate as possible via vocabulary terms when those reading understands little to nothing of what you say. Which will result in hatred more than anything. Take it from someone who experienced all of this personally.

I wish you luck and it'd be wise to heed my words sir.

[whitewolf223]

I honestly, don't understand what just happened right there. I hope you do do what the above posts suggested. Wolfspeak : Unreadable

[_Rache_]

Alright, thanks. I am just confused on why so called 'wolf speak' is so horrible.

[liontamer1]

[LordSuragaha]

I think Vespian says it best here.

While I can understand what you're trying to get at with that rp sample it appears as though you're trying to hard to sound literate and in the process you're just jumbling a lot of excessive and irrelevant words that just shouldn't be there. In the process you're obscuring the true beauty of your story. Sometimes the saying goes true that less is more. Sticking a bunch of words and using a thesaurus to find synonyms to describe simple words isn't the best approach to writing like the masters. If you go about and read some of the best books ever printed they don't sound anything like what you wrote up there and are easily comprehensible and enjoyable to all.

Please don't take my honesty as harshness. I'm just being straight forward with you. Express your writing through feeling and emotion... a truely good writer isn't just writing with words they are writing with their soul.

Goodluck

[_Rache_]

Thanks guys.