Author Topic: Forever Fire (Prologue)  (Read 1520 times)

Offline Nightlilac

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Forever Fire (Prologue)
« on: May 16, 2012, 03:33:02 pm »
  
Prologue
  A dark form sprinted across the rough terrain, her hair blown back, and her hand clutched in a tight fist around the last hope. In her hand, she carried the future fate of Icarse, in her hand, she carried the Forever Fire. She sprinted harder now, her destination coming closer and closer with every stride. She could hear the sounds of arrows whizzing past, and horses galloping after her. All she could do was pray that she made it before she was killed. As she saw that the horses were gaining on her, she found her escape. Aiming for it and sprinting harder than ever before, she leaped over the ravine. Her earlier pray went unanswered. Mid-air, the last arrow was fired, hitting her back. She landed on the other side, unable to stand. Seeing the horses leap safely over and coming at her, she used the last of her strength to lean over to her side, and throw the Forever Fire down the ravine. Then, she leaned her head back, and prepared herself for death, knowing that there was nothing else she could do.

Offline Gallow

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Re: Forever Fire (Prologue)
« Reply #1 on: May 21, 2012, 04:13:21 am »
Her earlier pray went unanswered.
Her earlier prayer went unanswered.
I would add more if I were you..
For Example:A dark form sprinted across the rough terrain, her black and brown hair flowing behind her as she ran. Tightly griped within the palm of her hand was (Describe the Forever fire I bit more)
(Or something like that, I know it's not the best example but it should give you an idea of how to make your prologue better)...Hm
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