Meta's Journal of Loneliness.

[seopard]

Hello.
I am Meta.
Welcome to my journal.

I would like to warn anyone who ventures to this small desolate corner of my life, that these posts and entries are full of rants, nostalgia, and my resistance to change. They may be frightening to outsiders, but it is simply normal in my life, so do not be frightened.







December 30th, 2014
Change has always frightened me. The thought of things being different than they were terrified me to cold center of my bones. So when things started to change last spring, my life began to spiral out of control. When most people change, they find themselves slowly sliding, grasping for safe holds only to find that there are none. They slip and fall into the change, longing for it not to come quickly. That was not what had happened with me. It seemed as if I had instead thrown myself off a cliff, hoping to fly on elegant wings only to find that they had been burned. And I plummeted. No longer was I that sweet little girl who quietly listened to her country music, sheltered from the cruelty of life.
No, I am now a stupid, rebellious teen who listens to punk and metal, screaming at the top of my lungs. I hate most of the world and always seem to find a way to put a damper on any social gathering. I have turned away from any sort of religion that I once knew, and my family members barely recognize me.
Why the change?
I see now the terrible things that life lays out for everyone. I see the suffering in those who fake their smiles. I can see past the mask and veil now, I can see that everyone is hurting. And that happy, shy little girl that everyone knew won't make it in this kind of world. I may not fare any better this way. But then again I don't care.
I give up.

[HollowWolf]

Hello there! You're not lonely now, dear. All of us change, and I agree, it is quite scary. But you should never give up on the things you love. I understand we go through tough and hard times but you're never alone. All of us are here for you and I'm surprised no one has commented on this yet. But I do hope life gets better for you, Meta. It's a new year and a new dawn. I encourage you to be who you are and know that there are many people out there who will help you, including myself. So, if you ever want to talk, just ask me, I don't bite, in fact, none of us do.