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Author Topic: Packs of the Eagle Moon (Looking for a critgue)  (Read 1309 times)

Offline TurtlezSoup

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Packs of the Eagle Moon (Looking for a critgue)
« on: February 06, 2013, 11:09:02 am »
Prolouge
'Dusky! Stop wandering off like that, you'll get lost!' A small pup like dog had called out to another, howling for her friend to return. 'But Mitz, The bird went in the there, I wanna go chase it.' Dusky, a small, floppy eared spaniel whined back. Walking back to a small chiwahwaha pup. 'But what will your No-Tails say if they see you covered in mud? You know they don't like it when you get dirty!' she called, walking over to her friend.

Two blood red eyes peered out at the two pups, followed by the blood curdling howl of a black beast. The two pups yelped, scampering back over to the fence, yet the beast was already there. White foam and saliva dripping from it jaws. The pups howled in fear yet Mitz was grabbed by her fluffy curled tail and flung upwards into the sky, engulfed by the monster when she fell back down. Dusk cried out for his friend, yet the his No-tails didn't come, his friend didn't climb back out. He was all alone, with this monster. This red eyed, pup eating monster leaning over him.. Its Jaws wide open, ready to eat him alive.....

Chapter 1

A loud rumble followed by a large crack of lightning awoke Dusk. He jumped up, shivering the little bell that was attacted to his collar jingled as he shook. Mitz woke up beside hi, 'Dusk! Are you all right?' she asked, sitting up and placing a paw on Dusk's face. 'I had a bad dream.' he mummered, lifting hsi head to try andbite Mitz's paw. 'Oh, well. What was it about?' she asked, lying back down again and resting her headon her paws. 'Well, we were playing. A-And a giant wolf came out and ate us...!' he whimpered, curling up next to his chiwawha friend. The cocker spaniel continued to whimper while his friend pressed up against him. Yawning again, the two did fall back alseep, quite easily. Though no dreams disturbed the pups from a peaceful sleep.

'Mizzy! Mizzy wake up!' Dusk barked, scrambling ontop of his friend, almost squahing her. Mitzshot awake and squeezed out from under the cocker spaniel. 'Loose some weight! You could've made me into flat-stale!' Mitz laughed, pawing her friend in the face momenttarily. 'Coem on! Our n-tails won't like it if we don't eat our Day-meal.' he yipped, scampering across teh tile floor to two small bowls. One with cold water, the other with hard biscuits. Mitztrotted in after her friend, drinking first while Dusk ate. When there was about half left in each bowl,they swaped and finished it off.
« Last Edit: February 06, 2013, 11:14:36 am by Turtle »


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Re: Packs of the Eagle Moon (Looking for a critgue)
« Reply #1 on: February 09, 2013, 04:44:17 am »
I love it Keep going its very interesting :)

Offline TurtlezSoup

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Re: Packs of the Eagle Moon (Looking for a critgue)
« Reply #2 on: February 14, 2013, 10:53:50 am »
Thanks!


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