Mates on FH: Sometimes it can be Risky!

[Lady_Alizarin]

Will u be my m8?
I need a mate! Can you please by my mate?
I like you! Let's be mates!
Do you have a mate?
Do u need a mate?
I can be your mate!!
She can be your mate
He can be your mate

There's no doubt that everyone in this game has encountered people who go around seeking companionship on this game. It's happened to me, it's happened to my FH friends.... and I'm sure it's happened to YOU too. Since this game allows people to have mates, many people, especially the younger ones, feel the need to have a mate in the game. Every now and then you will come across what we all like to call "mate beggers". They will go around the map and ask anyone to be their mate. That's cute and all, but do they know who they are really asking? The mate-begger could be some 13 year old girl asking people who are much older than she is, or much younger.  

There are some people on this game who take having a mate WAY too seriously. I've met some people who do desperate things to get a mate on this game. I'm not talking about just a mate for RP, but a real relationship on the game.
I have one friend who took her relationship with her Feral Heart mate VERY seriously. She and this guy were mates, in and out of RP. Whatever animal they were roleplaying as, they would play as mates and have little pups/kits/cubs etc. Whenever they weren't roleplaying, they would just cuddle with one another and chat privatly. One day, they both had some kind of misunderstanding and they both got really upset over it. She got really mad at him and told me about it. I didn't know how to help her since I didn't really know what the situation was. All I was thinking was, "This is why I don't have online relationships." Even though they are mates in the game, they probably don't know each other in reality.
There was this other friend I had who was seeking a mate in the game. I thought it was just for the sake of roleplaying,  but she really wanted an online relationship with someone. I told her it was a bad idea, because you don't know who the person is, he's a total stranger, and you don't know what he is like in reality. How do you know he is telling you the truth when he tells you he is 15? How do you know he's not 10, or 31, or even 42? How would you know? She finds one eventually and they start hanging out with each other. She one day tells me that she wants to meet this guy over video chat... O_O Wait what?! You can't be serious. What if he wasn't what you expected him to be? It could be very risky. You don't know who this person is at all.

Mates can be okay for Roleplaying
I think it's okay for people to have a mate for the sake roleplaying. I have some characters that have mates in certain roleplay groups, while some of my other characters remain single. The people who play the mates of my characters are really good friends and really good roleplayers, and we don't have any kind of "romantic" relationships. Me and some of my friends have characters who have different relationships with each other; brothers, sisters, parents, offspring, in-laws, allys, aquaintances, friends, or even enemies. They may play the role as my mate in one RP, but in another they play the role of my mortal enemy.

Do you love the person, or the character they play?
That's what I want to ask people who say that they are in love with the handsome lion with the bold heart, or in love with the cute little sassy red vixen. It seems like the reason people ask someone to be their mate is because they like the character, not the person playing the character. Sounds really silly doesn't it. Sure, the character seems nice but what about the person playing the character? Is he/she a nice person too? Just because that character looks nice or seems cool, it doesn't necessarily mean that the person playing him/her is like that in reality. I have one or two characters with my personality, while the rest are totally different from me. Roleplayers are like actors, they can play any kind of character; hero, villain, damsil in distress, and can make it believeable.  

Truth about the Internet


On many of these RPG sites, blog sites, and chat sites, there are many people who aren't honest about themselves. Even on dating sites, some people aren't honest about who they really are, what their age is, where they are from, what they do for a living, etc. It's the same thing here on Feral Heart. You meet so many interesting looking characters in this game, but you don't see the true faces of the people playing them. You don't get to see the true person, you only get to see their creativity. They can be whatever they want to be, and whoever they want to be. They can say anything they want as well.
 
I myself don't believe in online relationships, and therefore don't get into "romantic" relationships with people I don't know. It's just awkward for me, since I don't know who is on the other side of that computer screen. I don't know what the person looks like, what their real age is, where they live, etc. They might tell me that they are 19 or 20, but how do I know they are really telling the truth? They could be older, or even much YOUNGER.  

I had an awkward experience with someone I roleplayed with. He ((I will call him Joe for this story)) was in love with one of my fox characters and asked to be her mate. I didn't want to hurt his feelings, so I told him that my character could be his mate. Joe was really happy about it to that he jumped for joy. So we continue on with our little fox roleplay, and had a little drama between another male fox who wanted to be mates with my character as well. Skip forward, Joe won the affection of my vixen character and we lived our happy little fox lives together as mates for the entire RP. A few days after the RP ended, I had to get back to some other RP groups I was managing. Wouldn't you know it, Joe wanted to be part of my other RP group too. So I allowed him to join in. But then he started whispering me asking me if ____ was my mate or not. Okay? I told him that he wasn't my mate because he was my brother in the RP. So he was like, "Oh okay." So we continued on with the RP.
In many of my other RP's he wanted to get involved and be the mate of whatever character I was playing. He would keep whispering me, asking if I had any other mates in the RP. When I told him that I have a few friends who play as the mates of my other characters, he just went "O__O"  He didn't want to be mates with just that one character I had, he wanted a real relationship with me and be official mates in every RP. I eventually said my goodbyes to Joe, because I didn't want that kind of relationship with someone online. I have a relationship with someone out in the real world, and I plan on keeping it that way.

My advice
I'm not trying to scare anyone with this post, I'm just telling you what I think about this whole mate buisness. If you want to have a serious online relationship with someone on this game, that's fine. I wouldn't recommend giving this person any personal information; name, address, phone number, etc. Not only is it against the rules, but it can be very dangerous since you don't know this person in reality. Other than that, enter at your own risk. It's the internet after all.



What are your thoughts on all this? Do you agree, kinda agree, or deeply disagree? Everyone's opinions are different on this subject.

[Silvertide]

I definitely know what you mean. I used to think, when I was younger, that having an IC mate was the same as having an OOC mate. Especially in Wolf Quest, where the line between OOC and IC is barely visible at all. There was OOC dramaz and everything over that type of thing even though you would think it's supposed to stay in IC.
Now what I want to know is what to do when you know someone for years? I have a few friends I've known for 3-4 years now. We're all the same age and I want to believe that. I trust these people, but what if they are older than they claim and such? You just never know. I'm not suspicious of them, it's just weird. The fact that even after knowing someone for so long, you still don't know who they -really- are on the other side.

[WhiteLightHeart]

I agree with this, and like Tide said, it's just basic safety when you're online.

Companionship in a large community like FeralHeart can definitely be comforting. You always have somebody to run up and snuggle with in the crowded public maps, you can talk, and learn some things about the lives of people who may live far away from you. It's just making new friends- but, you've gotta be careful.
I really do agree with this thread, since it's best to realize that the bottom line of having a 'mate' on this game should strictly remain in roleplay, in character. Having you, or your account, as someone else's mate, however, takes it to an unecessary level, and it's that very thing that leads to some very flustered floofs that are acting as if they've just gone through a breakup. The reality is, though, they've never met this person, and had they left the inevitable boundaries of the internet where they are, it wouldn't have ended up that way.

This is very thorough, and nicely written. c: I hope some of those who choose 'account mates' get the message, too. A floof for you, m'dear~

[BouncyLion101]

I agree with your opinion.~
It can be a little uncomfortable for someone to keep asking to be your mate in every single roleplay that you join, and it's just..really weird for me. cx
This is why I don't have any mates for my characters..I don't want to risk it.

Anyway, I think more people should realize that being mates in a roleplay does not mean that they are dating you online. That's just awkward.
Online dating in general is very shady, but that's a different subject. c:

[Nemena]

Internet dating is fine, providing precautions are put into place. My previous boyfriend was my roleplaying partner on World of Warcraft (our characters were just mentor and student, though-- not a couple) who'd met after a chance encounter. Our styles meshed together-... And it developed from chatting all night and roleplaying all day, to endless skype calls, to video chat-... And then to IRL! It lasted almost 3 years until we parted for unrelated reasons; there's absolutely nothing wrong with that manner of dating, providing you're old enough to make informed decisions. I've met many of my internet friends in person, too-- seeing another one in a few weeks!

However, I'm really uncomfortable with random mate requests on FH; the players here are extraordinarily young in comparison to many other roleplaying settings. One of my best friends in-game, a 33 year old married man, is constantly asked and harassed to be mates with utter strangers who are most likely a third of his age; you simply have no idea who you're asking when you pose such a bizarre question! I'm an absolute fanatic for garnering mates through months of character development, a strong OOC friendship and roleplay (two of my characters are currently mated), but-... A random stranger? When the line between OOC and IC is barely discernible amongst a younger audience? Many of the aforementioned mate beggars simply don't know that OOC =/= IC.

Just be careful, keep things in moderation and remember that it's exclusively in-character!

[Kenji89]

While I agree with your above points of not seeking a real relationship on the internet, I don't see the harm in say IC mates only for RP's and then keeping that fine fine fine line intact. I'll also add that the OOC mate and online togetherness thing would also be quite awkward because though I'm female IRL, a lot of my characters are males and so that's always a weird thing whenever the people I've been RPing with for a while finally find out that I'm really female. That happened in one RP I was in, but my "mate" was strictly RP based only and so things didn't get weird. I think that those that seek in-game mates need only do it for RP reasons and not for all of the above. I think that that should be something more understood, though it's usually not by the younger batch of members. Just because there are exceptions to the rule sometimes (for instance, I met my best friend online and went to visit her and her family and everything was 100% legit and I did not get raped and hacked up ) that does not mean that it is okay to trust everyone you come across online OR IRL.   


As stated, I think having a harmless mate for RP purposes only is okay, but whenever it comes to making it anything more than that... Well, I worry deeply for those people if I see them in-game because it's hard to tell what will happen to them but normally 9 times out of 10 it's negative.

[ThrillexForLife]

I agree with everyone here,

>.< I hate mate beggars. Do any of you guys thinks this is annoying.I also hate this and never what to be anyone's "mate" because you never the person background can be a boy. Meaning, If I'm on my character it's a female. (of course) then suddenly a "male" comes up to me. "You're cute."
(MeH)"Erm.Thanks..but just for the record im looking for a mate."
"Oh come on..I'm looking for a mate..So what to be mine?"
NO!! I never what to do this..It's disgusting and I'm not that type of girl, and besides my sisters and mom said never do dirty talk to anyone because it might be a man talking you and sometimes they might ask you personal questions.Yeah. I really hate mate beggars and etc. Wait, am I being off topic?

[duna the killer]

I am fine with people mate begging,as long as it doesn't go too far (like when they say, OK LETS MAKE PUPS/CUBS/FOALS  in general or local) like Lady said,It is ok if it's for an rp,but you should try and meet some of the males/females in your group,you might be missing out on a great wolf/lion/horse/cat
Plus I don't understand why the younger people take having mates so seriously,sure they MIGHT go into RP afterward,but there is much more to Feralheart than going into general and saying Hi Im ___ I need a ___ mate whisper me! go explore,make friends,test out your rping skills!
All I am saying is that I am ok With Mate Begging,but sometimes it's not nessassary

[kopat]

like Lady said, it's fine with rp-ing, but I really don't think people should have insta-mates from the mate center. All the girls go for the emo dudes.

[puppy 12]

This has happened to me. I was hanging out with my friends on Feral Heart, and kind of creeping some people out with my weird faces... Then this random blue wolf with wings came up to me, and whispered me 'be my mate.' Then I said, 'Sorry, I am hanging out with someone else.' Then the blue wolf went mental and in the end she said, 'all right, maybe in a minute.' I said okay, and when all my friends went off line I became her mate, I really regret that now. She started to ask me personal questions so I just said, 'That Is Classified." Then she asked whats my facebook account, and who wouldn't say this> "Stop creeping me out!" Then I blocked her and ran away... Yep...

So I agree with Lady on this one, she wasn't even role-playing with me... I thought she was going to so I said yes. So don't have mates over the internet unless for roleplaying needs!