Sybbyl(VERY Challenging to Read)

[peachbreeze]

Sybbyl bequeathed the riches than was going to be syllaned to the lady.
                    "Thou durst to try and make me fullsome? I was besought to cometh to the castle, does not mean I shallt become fullsome? And thou try to syllan thine pudh pece to me?"
The lady whom tried to syllan the woman overmany pece was shaking "I am sorry! No need to tallt, m' lady!"
   "Thou think I am tallting?" Sybbyl bellowed, nary to any happiness henceforth. "I don't tallt. I am naught! Just a lady to wax a cook at the castle. . "
The women bounded on top of her horse, the hooves animal galloping off into the horizon where the mere is with fish swimming.
    "Truly, I do think thee is beautiful." Lady Sybbyl unsheathed her small dagger, and aimed it at the fish. It bled, red clouding up but fading away in the mere.
   "Wither I must go, thee is coming with me, to the castle of ellegance." Sybbyl walked across the mere, draughting the horse and fish across. Sybbyl gazed onnuppan, dove gliding in the sky.
    "That means. . . We are hither!"
Soldeirs approached the lady, and besought, "Thou Sybbyl, the proby cook?"
                  Sybbyl tarried around the stallions. "Yay(Yes), a cook I shalt be at the castle."
                   Soldier said, "Ma'am, whence cometh thou?"
                                "Alsinniron. Alsinniron Province.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
End of chapter one, understand most of it? x) (TO be continued)

[BouncyLion101]

....Wut? O.O
I did not understand any of this, heh. This is the language they used in the Middle Ages, correct?

[peachbreeze]

....Wut? O.O
I did not understand any of this, heh. This is the language they used in the Middle Ages, correct?

Oh yes, maybe I read a bit too much Shakespear? :3
Thats what nade it hard >:3
If I wanna be nice I can put a key up lol

[BouncyLion101]

Oh yes, maybe I read a bit too much Shakespear? :3
Thats what nade it hard >:3
If I wanna be nice I can put a key up lol

Lol, yes, a key would be nice.~

[Genesis9]

I'm afraid I take argument with this piece of work. Although it's an interesting idea to write in a Shakespearean sort of way, that 'old English' is long dead and just isn't used anymore. Writing your story in just regular english would simply make it more interesting to everyone else, rather than trying to make it more complicated through the use of a dead language. There are some words up there I'm pretty sure even Shakespeare didn't use :S

Not to mention, there are quite a few things that don't make any sense even if you can slightly understand what is going on. All this about stabbing a fish. I have no idea what you mean there, you mention one of the women or characters riding into the horizon upon a horse, and then for some reason stabbing a 'fish' with a knife and making it bleed red before it vanishes. Is this supposed to be a metaphor for something? If so it is no very well explained, because you say that later they 'drought' (which I am going to assume means drag or pull or something similar) the horse and the fish, so one has to assume there is actually a fish. There's also a problem with the way she wounded the 'fish'. You said she 'aimed her dagger' that would literally mean that she's just pointing her dagger at something. I doubt that would make anything bleed unless she was pointing it into the fish's side but even then 'pointing' isn't really the word needed there. If she threw her dagger to kill or wound the fish, you need to say so :S
Then there's the words 'She walked across the mere' if mere is some sore of swamp or lake or moat (the later seems the most likely) it brings to mind that she is actually walking across water. That's pretty unrealistic. Shouldn't she be walking across a bridge? Or down a pathway? If you meant for mere to be a bridge, then how is this fish thing in it? I know she's going to be some sort of cook for whatever place she's going to, but why would she kill the fish is she thought it was beautiful. That just seems random and sort of cruel.
The word unnoppan, I'm guessing you mean up and upon but just meshed the two words together, would make so much more sense if you just split them up. It also is very odd that she has to see a dove flying to realize they are wherever they were trying to go. Do you mean that there is a dove carved onto the door of a castle? Is that sigil of the castles coat of arms? Or is actually a bird that's flying around? And how did the soldiers know that she was going to be the cook? Is it there practice to walk up to newcomers and ask about the profession they're going to be taking up at the castle or village or wherever she's going (you need to make that clear, because I have no idea after reading through this five times e3e)
Finally, this seems altogether far too short to be a full chapter, perhaps it should be the prologue if you do intend on continuing this?

[Adakkin]

i under stand becuase thou hast understood the kings english, as thou hast tought thyself. translation: i uunderstand becuase i have learnd old english and you wrote it right yourself. musnt thy say more? art though jelous? translation: must i say more? are you jelous? ok im done.