Author Topic: HeartAche. (By Jordan Goldade dedicated to XxspiritmoonXx)  (Read 2300 times)

Offline Golddaddy

  • Curious Wanderer
  • *
  • Posts: 12
  • Floof-O-Meter: 2
    • View Profile
HeartAche. (By Jordan Goldade dedicated to XxspiritmoonXx)
« on: December 04, 2013, 04:41:53 am »
So many things happened between me and my girlfriend.  I abandoned my old account starting fresh with this one.  I wrote this for Her and I.  Any comments or criticism feel free to share. thanks )))

       HeartAche.

O, A heart so cruelly bashed and tore.  What hath it been done which deserve of it? I see a flower swaying gently alone and I hear the mournful cry of something lost along the way, crying for the past as it once was,  only an imagination of something that can not be reached.  A gift of vast knowledge and intelligence, but the greatest gift is the love for someone.  It bleeds out slowly dying while holding onto compassion, love, and the least bit of hope.  Washed away slowly with tears, sorrow and grief. O Lord have mercy upon my soul.

 

((Love you spiritmoon,))

Offline LightWolfWarrior

  • Familiar Grounds Dweller
  • **
  • Posts: 63
  • Floof-O-Meter: 4
  • Light Wolf here~
    • View Profile
Re: HeartAche. (By Jordan Goldade dedicated to XxspiritmoonXx)
« Reply #1 on: December 15, 2013, 05:50:33 pm »
I love this. It's very emotional and moving and altogether well made. I hope you will continue to write poems, they're amazing.


I would like to thank not only God, but Jesus, for I See Stars.

Offline ~Stargazer~

  • Ancient Silver Mane
  • *****
  • Posts: 4,041
  • Country: 00
  • Floof-O-Meter: 78
  • "Helloooo? Trickster."
    • View Profile
    • My deviantART
Re: HeartAche. (By Jordan Goldade dedicated to XxspiritmoonXx)
« Reply #2 on: December 16, 2013, 03:36:05 am »
Lovely poem c: You really captured the emotions :3

Preset Download
Will be less active until October 7th.

Offline Golddaddy

  • Curious Wanderer
  • *
  • Posts: 12
  • Floof-O-Meter: 2
    • View Profile
Re: HeartAche. (By Jordan Goldade dedicated to XxspiritmoonXx)
« Reply #3 on: December 20, 2013, 10:30:10 pm »
Thank you guys vey much for your kind comments :3 I will continue writing poems.  (just a beginner)

Offline Vespian

  • An Unsightly Beast
  • Ancient Silver Mane
  • *****
  • Posts: 3,935
  • Country: us
  • Floof-O-Meter: 242
    • View Profile
Re: HeartAche. (By Jordan Goldade dedicated to XxspiritmoonXx)
« Reply #4 on: December 20, 2013, 11:16:13 pm »
Such disparity and martyrdom you've weaved within each word and structure of your poem. Quite emotional. A job well done and I'm sorry to hear about the misfortunes between ye' and your girlfriend.
gone