Ilu/Ilumina Thoughts/Ideas?

[kaczuszka]

Ilu / Ilumina ~ Idea

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Ive been thinking of creating a Wolf Character named
Ilumina or Ilu for short. She would be a small-medium size
Yellow/green eyes and black under eye and white above the eye (or both black)
Her fur colour would be creamy-brown and would have some darker brown-ish markings (From augg22 mass markings)
I don't know how she will turn out so for now I want some ideas/improvements from you guys
Whilst this is done, I thought of a bio/story for her and a future pack I might make for her
(IF I'll make her) If I will make her and the group of you interested any of you will be able to join it, I am not advertising the group since I know that theres a special thread for that, but I am just taking note that there might be a group ~

Bio/Story:
(If it is a bit dramatic then sorry xD just came from the top of my head, I tried not to make it too 'Dramatic' meaning that she had a lot of failure and sadness in her life)

The night I first sensed the fresh air was one year back from now. I remember that I met myself in the middle of a Tundra by myself. Since I was a pup I were t exactly sure what I was doing there nor what the place was. The only thing that gave me a flash back was a medium sized scar on my thigh.
//I saw two elder wolves fighting, one of which was standing infront of me was a black wolf and opposite was a white wolf (Not meaning it in a racist way, just the colour fur was that colour)//
That's all I could remember everything was cleared out, I couldn't remind myself of anything else that happened here.

I spent months wandering around the cold tundra, the food was hard to get but I found occasional leftovers from other predators. Water was more rare, looking for the tiniest of tiniest of holes in the buried ice lake under the thick layers of snow.
The tundra was empty day after day, every lain all that potentionaly lived there was probably ly hiding in dens and coming out when necessary.

After another couple of months I finally found my way out of the Tundra, I found a big forest with a open area of plains and plenty of food. There would be some packs of wolves around the place but they'd never be friendly with me.
I was pretty much grown back then, being a loner weren't easy other packs wouldn't let me join them, they just bared their teeth at me and scared me off.

When I became a full grown wolf most of the others either died of old age or were killed of.
I finally had the whole place to myself. <~>

I know this ain't good and is really simple, I am really tired and just couldn't be bothered about better detail in this.
If I didn't go to sleep at 1Am last night then I would of probably finished of the Bio/Story

Anyways ~ What shall I improve on my character?

[TouchOfMadness]

I don't like to criticize another's characters, since each character and its appearance have special significance to their owner, but if you want, I could give some hopefully helpful comments on the backstory. Please don't take anything I say as just pointless judging or me being a snob. I'm just giving my personal opinion, and you can choose to take it or not. (Sorry for this long disclaimer. I have a history of accidentally offending people with my critiquing xD)
   The plot of your character's backstory is good, but it might help if you add more detail, perhaps focusing on your character's emotions when all those things happened to her. That way, it may seem more like a story than simply a record of events. When packs rejected her, was Ilumina hurt? Confused? Angry? The choice is yours on whether this is the approach you want to take. I hope this helps! (And doesn't make you want to punch me in the face!)

[kaczuszka]

I don't like to criticize another's characters, since each character and its appearance have special significance to their owner, but if you want, I could give some hopefully helpful comments on the backstory. Please don't take anything I say as just pointless judging or me being a snob. I'm just giving my personal opinion, and you can choose to take it or not. (Sorry for this long disclaimer. I have a history of accidentally offending people with my critiquing xD)
   The plot of your character's backstory is good, but it might help if you add more detail, perhaps focusing on your character's emotions when all those things happened to her. That way, it may seem more like a story than simply a record of events. When packs rejected her, was Ilumina hurt? Confused? Angry? The choice is yours on whether this is the approach you want to take. I hope this helps! (And doesn't make you want to punch me in the face!)

It's alright xD it was really late and I couldn't be bothered to put any more detail in it.
I am from Poland and been in England for 7 years (I know it seems long but it really isn't)Althought I have learned every word in English (As far as I know xD) I still may not be perfect at it.