okay, so, I recently read the plot of the new Harry Potter play, The Cursed Child, and I... I am utterly speechless by just how bad it is
1. Voldemort apparently had a daughter called Delphie. The mother? Bellatrix... of course. This is like, the most cliche trope of Bad Fanfiction. how did it become canon. HOW.
2. Harry is extremely out of character and tells Albus that he wishes he wasn't his son. Ouch.
3. Harry unfairly judges Scorpius, who is Albus's best friend, and blames him for trouble that Albus gets into.
4. The entire thing is based around Time Turners and it's all a huge mess
5. Delphi has silver and blue hair. Another Bad Fanfiction Voldemort's Daughter cliche.
6. There are apparently rumors that Voldemort used a Time Turner to impregnate Astoria and that Scorpius is his son... what?? nah fam Scorp's 100% Malfoy.
7. Scorpius, Delphie, and Albus go back in time to try and stop Cedric's death and create a huge time rip leading to an alternate reality in which Albus doesn't exist, Harry died, Draco is the Minister of Magic, Snape is alive, Umbridge is headmaster, Voldemort rules the world, there are Muggleborn/half-blood death camps, and etc... all because Cedric didn't win the Triwizard Tournament and apparently became so p'ed off at his loss that he became an Evil Edgelord and turned into a Death Eater.
8. of course, Delphie is evil and does a Face-Heel Turn and betrays them all and tries to go back in time to stop Voldemort's death near the end(after Scorp fixes the Voldemort's Victory alternate reality)
9. this entire play belongs in the trash can
10. please let this all be a joke. this can't be canon. it just can't.
i mean, i love the fact that albus is best friends with scorp but seriously?? the rest of it is so bad that that doesn't even excuse it
