I'm really sorry to hear about all of the things going on in your life right now. I can't image how tough it must be. No matter how difficult things seem at the moment, there will be a better time in the future. <3 I think expressing to your mother how you feel about your father is not a bad thing. There's nothing wrong with showing that you care. I think it's really up to your dad to decide whether or not he wants to change, and as much we want the best for everyone, we cannot make these decisions for them. You being there to show your love and care for him is nothing to be ashamed of, and it's one of the best things I think you can do for him right now. I see kindness from you, not idiocy. <3
I wish the best of luck with you and your family. Have faith that things will turn out okay, even if it may not seem possible at the moment. Take care, and we'll all be here if/when you return.