From 100 to 0 (in no time flat)

[Krankheit]

So...
I left the game for a few months, saying it'd be for good because I couldn't stand how toxic it was. Then I reinstalled it and came back one day, just wanting maybe something to watch or someone to talk to.
I came back and was oddly welcomed, although I'm known to be rude and unlikable. I made a lot of friends the first day back and they hung around me and talked to me and for once in my life, Feral Heart felt like it's old self. I think that was the first day I was actually tolerant? Usually I bicker but just knowing people liked me changed that for the time being, I guess.

Second and third were just as good, making more friends and really having a good time. For the first time I had more than one person on my Discord.

I don't know if I'm just depressed today or if this community is really just as bad as I left it. I came on in the morning and had a great time watching a friend of mine roleplay so I guess I had high expectations when I came back. Little did I know, huh?
I saw two people who my friends, both in game and Discord. Sort of just got ignored by them but I get it, they were talking others and what not. I try to get into conversation when I can but for a person who doesn't like Overwatch, what do I do?
Then of course, someone who I thought I could make amends with ends up being super passive aggressive to me comes on and talks to them. I sort of just faded out at that point because I feel like said person will attack me.

For some reason I felt really lonely today. I wanted someone, especially to vent to. I can't directly talk to to people so I tried hinting in movies but no one watches those anymore. I moved in and out of the Local range because I just started getting angry. I'd move to the lake (this is the Grounds) and try to bottle up my anger and come back.
I mean, I'm desperate for friends at this point but they're just a little too much.
Some other friend comes on, I shoo them off of me when they approach because I feel horrible. Then she talks about how lonely she feels and I say I feel the same yet, everyone, even that alleged friend continues to ignore me.
Then she says she feels unloved for I don't know why and I say I can relate. Passive aggressive girl sends love to only that person. How cold hearted.

You know, I've actually been trying to get better. I'm normally short tempered and I developed a hate for many things on this game. But, I don't want to feel that way. So I came back hoping I could change that and for once it felt real, like I can actually do that but Christ, I was kicked when I was down. I don't know how I can compete with that. Because I've been doing great and thought I could be friends with people I didn't like. For the most part it worked and then crashed, flaming.

It must be hard for ya'll out there with tons of friends.
I made one friend that I'm keeping, but they're mostly busy or a different time zone since they're only on in the mornings.

I suppose my weak spots been hit and I just wanted someone to talk to. I've done more than just hinting and God, might as well punch me.

I know it's partly me. I'm easy to hate. I'm fresh kill. I'm just a wrench in everyone's plan. I'm sorry for showing up. But it was just uncalled for, especially after that short, VERY short streak of a good time.
For one time in my life I thought I connected to people on this game. It was a miracle me because I thought I could make myself a better person and be accepted. I wanted to erase my nasty behavior but God, does this place bring out the worst in me.

I just don't know what to do. It's like an abusive relationship.
"Yeah, he hit me... but you just don't know his sweet side."

[Azurain]

Hey, I don't have a ton of friends here on FeralHeart. I have a few pretty close ones, but a lot of the time they're offline or off doing something else in game so there are good chunks of time I sit on the hill alone. I don't let it bother me a lot. The fact is, you're going to meet a lot of people here in FH that will seem to blow you off, be rude, yada yada. That's how it is. So you gotta adapt. Go make new friends. Not all of us are like that. Heck, come sit and talk to me. I'm a bit quiet and shy at first but once you get me going you'll be begging me to shut up. xD

Being angry about it isn't gonna get you anywhere. I know it's hard. Heck, I still have times where I get mad about it. But honestly, it doesn't do you any good. The point of FeralHeart is to make friends. So you gotta do just that. And eventually, it'll all feel much more welcoming. ^^

[Hakumi]

Agreed,
Truth be told, I legit don't have many friends. I have a very, and I mean very small circle of mates ( really good friends ) that I like to chat and hang around with. I'm a pretty anti-social person so I can be a terrible conversationalist. I'm too worried about boring someone to death or something, but once I get to know the person more I can be a pretty down to earth, funny / goofy floof.
To be honest, you shouldn't try and please those that don't wish to give you the time of day. If that's how they feel about it, nej point in staying in that sort of toxic relationship. It's nice to know that the whole isn't really out to get you and not everyone will think the same way.
Shoot, I don't even know you, but you sound pretty darn interesting that's for sure. I've only known ya from the posts and such but even then I don't really judge ya.

Like it was stated above, this game was about making friends, not only that, just having fun. If you're not having fun then the experience can be a sour one and you'll just keep going deeper and deeper into that hole.
Just gotta keep reminding yourself that the world isn't out to get you, there's some floofs out there that can relate to you and actually want to get to know you, but might be timid to even approach anyone. There's more than one person on this Earth and everyone is different.
With some time and patience, you'll find a nice little bud and be happy with yourself more.
Even now, I am actually doing my best to hold to the ones that I've come to consider as mates or even family and I know they're probably doing the same <3
So, I wish you luck m'friend c:

[Warriorstrike]

It sounds like you've been going through a lot, friend. I'll add some of my thoughts here. Much of this comes from personal experience, some speculation.~

Losing a friend doesn't necessarily mean you have done something wrong. Doing something right wouldn't necessarily procure that friendship. Sometimes people come into your life for a brief time-- share experiences with you, teach you something, leave an imprint on you-- and then fade out. Friendship can take work from both parties-- it's a two way street, after all. But I would try to focus less on the friends you lost and more from what you've learned from them, to make new friends in the future. This doesn't mean we don't have flaws or parts of our character that we shouldn't work on, but just because you've found yourself reacting to people in a certain way doesn't make you a bad person. Sometimes it takes a little self-evaluation and conquering mistakes to reach a point where we feel happy with how we react to those around us, and to ourselves. There is always room for improvement, and if you think there is an aspect of yourself that causes people to react in a certain way, then you're already a step ahead in being capable of recognizing that in yourself, but be wary of trying to change yourself to make people like you.

Loneliness is a tricky thing because it puts us in a position to lower our standards and accept anything that comes our way, even if it's potential harmful to us, just for the sake of having company. I cannot quite determine how you feel-- as that is something you must internally look toward-- but if that sounds like something you might be feeling, my advice would be to focus less on trying to gather friends for having company and more for giving it. An "I want to be someone's friend" vs. "I want them to be my friend" kind of thing. c:

There's a difference between enjoying something more because you have someone there to experience that event with you and feeling as though you need someone just to stand on your own feet without falling down. If you feel like you cannot find any enjoyment without other people enjoying those things with you, I would try to find something that you enjoy doing alone. There is a lot you can learn from sharing your own company, and sometimes there will be a gap in your life where you don't have anyone else to bounce ideas off of, share a funny video with, or express your darkest secrets to, but in that quiet space bears the benefits of walking through your day without needing someone to be there. This doesn't have to make you cold and careless, but it can offer you a chance to appreciate the potential for personal growth through the hardiships of feeling alone. Abandonment becomes solitude when you no longer expect someone to hold you up.

You are not quite abandoned if you have yourself. Perhaps, that's a bit of a large speculation, but it's a perspective I think is worth considering. You can have other people but lose touch with yourself, and sometimes you can lose other people but you find yourself. There's a sweet spot of having both friends and enjoying to do things on your own, but sometimes there will be too much of one and too little of the other, but it all helps you grow.

If you need someone to talk to, though, my inbox is always open. <3

[Krankheit]

Hey, I don't have a ton of friends here on FeralHeart. I have a few pretty close ones, but a lot of the time they're offline or off doing something else in game so there are good chunks of time I sit on the hill alone. I don't let it bother me a lot. The fact is, you're going to meet a lot of people here in FH that will seem to blow you off, be rude, yada yada. That's how it is. So you gotta adapt. Go make new friends. Not all of us are like that. Heck, come sit and talk to me. I'm a bit quiet and shy at first but once you get me going you'll be begging me to shut up. xD

Being angry about it isn't gonna get you anywhere. I know it's hard. Heck, I still have times where I get mad about it. But honestly, it doesn't do you any good. The point of FeralHeart is to make friends. So you gotta do just that. And eventually, it'll all feel much more welcoming. ^^

Yeah, well when someone like me has to bottle all their anger inside because all of this game is four people scream about Overwatch week in and week out. Also, I'd love to talk to you Azura but most of the time a certain someone who is super bratty to me is sitting by you and the last thing I want is drama with her. I suppose I can whisper.
But I've been trying to keep it cool. That's what I've been trying since day one. I actually convinced myself to not write a pretty sour leaving note on the forums and that was a good choice, obviously since I came back. I have been holding back for far too long, though. But it's really hard to not take it out on everyone when there's only the same people talking in Local all the time. Yes, I have met nice people, I've met one right now.
They comforted me and sat by me. But the issue is that their kind is 2% of this community.
The nicer people are generally roleplaying or super quiet.

But I can't handle being alone for too long. I'm secretly social but way too sensitive.

Agreed,
Truth be told, I legit don't have many friends. I have a very, and I mean very small circle of mates ( really good friends ) that I like to chat and hang around with. I'm a pretty anti-social person so I can be a terrible conversationalist. I'm too worried about boring someone to death or something, but once I get to know the person more I can be a pretty down to earth, funny / goofy floof.
To be honest, you shouldn't try and please those that don't wish to give you the time of day. If that's how they feel about it, nej point in staying in that sort of toxic relationship. It's nice to know that the whole isn't really out to get you and not everyone will think the same way.
Shoot, I don't even know you, but you sound pretty darn interesting that's for sure. I've only known ya from the posts and such but even then I don't really judge ya.

Like it was stated above, this game was about making friends, not only that, just having fun. If you're not having fun then the experience can be a sour one and you'll just keep going deeper and deeper into that hole.
Just gotta keep reminding yourself that the world isn't out to get you, there's some floofs out there that can relate to you and actually want to get to know you, but might be timid to even approach anyone. There's more than one person on this Earth and everyone is different.
With some time and patience, you'll find a nice little bud and be happy with yourself more.
Even now, I am actually doing my best to hold to the ones that I've come to consider as mates or even family and I know they're probably doing the same <3
So, I wish you luck m'friend c:

It's real hard to tell myself that. You gotta understand that these people were super nice to me and then all the sudden cut me off. It's real hard not to feel abandoned. It's especially irritating when /someone/ openly leaves me out of everything just because they're salty about me. I tried to be nice to them, believe me, but then they very passive aggressively shoved themselves into every conversation I had and belittled me on a subtle, but obvious level. I can't help but be like,

"ok.
obviously you are on the same page I am."

I just had to vent.
I had to let it out because while it isn't a majority of the community, it's the loudest.

It sounds like you've been going through a lot, friend. I'll add some of my thoughts here. Much of this comes from personal experience, some speculation.~

Losing a friend doesn't necessarily mean you have done something wrong. Doing something right wouldn't necessarily procure that friendship. Sometimes people come into your life for a brief time-- share experiences with you, teach you something, leave an imprint on you-- and then fade out. Friendship can take work from both parties-- it's a two way street, after all. But I would try to focus less on the friends you lost and more from what you've learned from them, to make new friends in the future. This doesn't mean we don't have flaws or parts of our character that we shouldn't work on, but just because you've found yourself reacting to people in a certain way doesn't make you a bad person. Sometimes it takes a little self-evaluation and conquering mistakes to reach a point where we feel happy with how we react to those around us, and to ourselves. There is always room for improvement, and if you think there is an aspect of yourself that causes people to react in a certain way, then you're already a step ahead in being capable of recognizing that in yourself, but be wary of trying to change yourself to make people like you.

Loneliness is a tricky thing because it puts us in a position to lower our standards and accept anything that comes our way, even if it's potential harmful to us, just for the sake of having company. I cannot quite determine how you feel-- as that is something you must internally look toward-- but if that sounds like something you might be feeling, my advice would be to focus less on trying to gather friends for having company and more for giving it. An "I want to be someone's friend" vs. "I want them to be my friend" kind of thing. c:

There's a difference between enjoying something more because you have someone there to experience that event with you and feeling as though you need someone just to stand on your own feet without falling down. If you feel like you cannot find any enjoyment without other people enjoying those things with you, I would try to find something that you enjoy doing alone. There is a lot you can learn from sharing your own company, and sometimes there will be a gap in your life where you don't have anyone else to bounce ideas off of, share a funny video with, or express your darkest secrets to, but in that quiet space bears the benefits of walking through your day without needing someone to be there. This doesn't have to make you cold and careless, but it can offer you a chance to appreciate the potential for personal growth through the hardiships of feeling alone. Abandonment becomes solitude when you no longer expect someone to hold you up.

You are not quite abandoned if you have yourself. Perhaps, that's a bit of a large speculation, but it's a perspective I think it worth considering. You can have other people but lose touch with yourself, and sometimes you can lose other people but you find yourself. There's a sweet spot of having both friends and enjoying to do things on your own, but sometimes there will be too much of one and too little of the other, but it all helps you grow.

If you need someone to talk to, though, my inbox is always open. <3

I realize that, however, again, when the only people who talk are these people then I really have a tight choice. I can hardly talk to people alone because I don't know what's a good conversation. I can really only talk when I find out what people are like or what they like beforehand (even if a small amount) and then I can kick off a conversation.

To be honest, I can't help but be desperate. I've only had one friend for the longest time, and heck, I almost lost her a day or two ago so I have to admit I got a bit insane. It really made me realize that I need another good friend or two because if I lose my only one I have nothing. And to some this may seem silly- but I depend on others. I used to depend on role playing to keep my head straight and drawing and writing sort of helps but all in all I need someone I know will be there to listen or what not. It's complicated.

Yeah, I had that. Roleplaying. But even on a roleplaying game nobody wanted me and the people who did would either never respond or I got into arguments with. I have drawing and writing but according to everyone humans are social creatures and you know, I like to talk to somebody. I'll watch videos while drawing, I'll watch television or go for a walk or something but sometimes I want to hang out with people.

[FlyingGrass]

I have very few friends, and the only friends I have are busy most of the day(I understand, IRL comes before FH), most of the day I just sit around saying "Hello" to those whom say hello to me.
For me, friend making is sometimes as simple as roleplaying with someone, but I may just be lucky, or I may just be thinking that anyone who talks to me is a friend of mine.
I don't randomly talk to people unless they randomly talk to me, and if they're sitting/curling by me then I think that I can freely start conversations with them whenever.

A short story(Updated):

Back in 2014: I had a friend who asked me my gender and I didn't respond which caused me to lose that friend, which didn't sadden me, but the questions about personal info is the reason I don't have many friends.

Ever since, I thought "I don't need friends, friends ask me about my personal info" and spent my days without friends, I thought friends were too hard to keep, I thought friends weren't needed at all.

2014, I frequently played both FH and DragonsDen, still not making friends, I got a mate from Mate Center but it didn't last long. I lost trust in other people, I once had someone ask me to share passwords together.

I stopped playing both games in September/October 2015, but not because of lack of friends, I was still fine without them, and oddly I wasn't bored at all.

In 2017: I returned to FH and would spend my time just wandering around custom maps(Chevalville and IceConcert), I found people in one of the maps once, which surprised me as I thought the custom maps were long forgotten(In 2014 I didn't find many people at all in custom maps).

One month later, I found The Grounds, but all I would do there is run across the path, and no-one stopped to talk to me back then. Another month later, I stuck near the Lonely Cave portal more frequently, and I found someone who sat at the wall all the time, I asked them "Isn't it boring sitting in one spot all the time?" and I can't remember how they responded, but they responded. "I finally spoke to someone!" I thought. "But friends are gonna be hard to make"

My first time meeting a user whom is a friend of mine:
Whilst sitting by the Lonely Cave portal, I found a canine with a gray pelt and green markings and hair, and I(Being a coincidence-loving person, I was unaware of the fact that copying existed) thought "Wow! The very first character I made is a canine with the same colors! And those same markings!" I logged onto that character and sat nearby(Back then I thought the person would somehow suddenly start to know that it was my first character, but today I realize that the person might not have been thinking what I thought they were thinking.). I still see the same user coming online to this day. (When I look back at that moment, I think "My was I stupid to not change my char to something not similar to the other char"). I'm not mad at the user, everything about now and before that moment that I remember just screams at me saying the user wasn't copying me, that was the first time the user saw my grey-pelted wolf that has green markings, that was the first time I saw the user online, that was the first time the user saw me.


Ever since I made friends in FH, I thought "Having friends isn't so bad!", I liked having friends but I didn't go too overboard, I didn't want to make more friends than I could handle(Because I think that I should stick nearby friends all the time I can when they're online, and I still kept the thought that friends were hard to keep).

[Hakumi]

It's real hard to tell myself that. You gotta understand that these people were super nice to me and then all the sudden cut me off. It's real hard not to feel abandoned. It's especially irritating when /someone/ openly leaves me out of everything just because they're salty about me. I tried to be nice to them, believe me, but then they very passive aggressively shoved themselves into every conversation I had and belittled me on a subtle, but obvious level. I can't help but be like,

"ok.
obviously you are on the same page I am."

I just had to vent.
I had to let it out because while it isn't a majority of the community, it's the loudest.

Oh nej, I see where you're coming from, especially when you think that you finally made a connection and then it just... stops. Especially in IRL or even in a game like FH. You're going to run into these sort of bumps in the road along the way nej matter what game or what you're doing in life.
I've had my fair shares of that, but I was too focused with a mindset of trying to please every / anyone that it didn't do me any good and the relationship wasn't worth it anymore.
That's how the world works and it's nice to vent and let out what you're feeling inside, can actually clear your mind, give you a sense of control and especially reevaluate your choices / other people more clearly.
I try not to let that abandonment feeling get to me too much, because I try to remember and especially hope that at least someone is out there for me, someone I can go to and actually spill what I need to and I have come across said people so who knows, what you're doing now? People responding to this thread and giving you their insights and experiences? Ja, you have some potential buds here that's willing to help ya if you want to make the effort as well and give it another go c:
Clearly I can't control / say what you should or shouldn't do... But at least keep the thought opened ~
And like Nynx, if you need someone to just sit and listen, my inbox is always opened <3

[Lucius]

If there's any advice that I can give you, it'll be coming from my own experience, so take it with a grain of salt:

Everyone plays this game for themselves and they will most likely tailor their stay in FH to their advantage. You should do the same; talking to a "friend" shouldn't be a chore and it should absolutely not involve you being completely sidelined for the whole conversation. If you have nothing in common with the group you're in, then leave. Go find someone who you can talk to about other things than Overwatch; they exist. Ignore the passive aggressive girl, or block her; it's clear she doesn't want to make amends and letting her get to you just makes your day worse in the end. There are many people here who will talk to you for a whole day and then disappear for a week or two, and plenty more who won't; it just depends on how the dice roll.

As for conversations; I've had plenty of people come up to me and start a conversation about my character's name, preset, biography, etc. I can understand that being more reserved can make it harder, but even just sending a whisper to someone and complimenting their character's story can be the start of an interesting conversation. And if they don't reply, then you haven't really lost anything for trying.

In the end, this game is meant for your enjoyment, not as something that makes you angry or distraught. If someone is affecting you in a negative way, then you can always tell them and leave, or block them if they persist. If you have nothing to talk to with someone, then why would you force yourself to stay with them? If I wanted to talk to a wall, I wouldn't need company. Don't put yourself in positions that will make you feel worse after playing this game.

[Kuri]

You want friends?  Seen you around but i got the impression you didn't like people.

[Jango_Fett]

let the friendship occur naturally, don't make it your only pursuit


this kinda thing happened to me a lot back in the day(2014 was a great year, amirite?), but trust me it eventually blows over.